End of the road

[em ching]

Hello,

I finally feel that I am coming to the end of the road regarding a friend, who is no more. The hope is going, although still a remnant of feeling or I wouldn't be posting these readings for help. This is a long standing issue involving the same guy. I have tried to make it up, but I think he probably knows now that I have feelings for him, which is why it has ground to a halt. I have been here before of course - so convinced that no one else could fill those particular shoes and a part of you is gone forever - then lo and behold you wake up and the longing, or belief in that person, is gone. Only to be replaced, hopefully by someone more appropriate I think knowing him has made me a better person, and that which does not kill me...so perhaps we go through these heart-breaks to be better equipped when the right person, at the right time, comes along.

I asked the I ching - Is this the enduring status of this affair (not speaking)?
40 Deliverance

I think it is saying I need to try and free myself from the disappointment of this reality... deliver myself from expecation, but also from despair (which today replaced inkling of hope)

I asked then, is my interpretation of Deliverance (as in moving on) correct?
46.1,2,3,5 > 3

I like both these hexes. I see them as pushing upwards - growing and maturing - not being able to see where you're going - and like a shoot coming up through the surface of the earth - no longer having security around you (the soil) but having to have faith and going it alone - which is a difficult adjustment, in the beginning...

Finally - He is not on my road?
(He really did inspire me a lot - and I often thought of things and wanted to share them with him etc etc. but that enthusiasm is gone sadly - which is why I feel malnourished in that sense. And I think if I hadn't let my feelings run away with me - there may have still been a friendship - but maybe it could only go this way, complete estrangement- because friendship is based on equality - equal interest in each other, as well as other aspects...)
54.2,3,6 > 30

To me this says, that I was never in control, could never get my own way here. Would always be secondary to his other affairs. Read somewhere else that hex 30 reflects individuals remaining separate? But also perhaps igniting something in each other? But I suppose anyone who makes you feel unworthy, should not continue being adored But you can't help I suppose, who you see... or think you see, if you know what I mean.

I suppose I just need to wait for someone more sincere... and remind myself that I don't have to be less bright, without his presence in my life...


Any comments here would be much appreciated. I suppose it all speaks for itself?

:bows:

 

[my_key]

Hi em ching.

The only comment I want to make is "WOW!!":bows:

Mike

 

[em ching]

Erm.. do you mean Wow as in 'I can't believe she's still asking about this' or that my interpretations sound about right? No burning embers of hope left, just the ash, and having to swallow the truth? Does hex 30 generally denote clinging to someone or something else unhealthily? Or two people who do not need each other to burn brightly - they can do it on their own ie. are not meant to be together? Naybe that's over-generalisation, but I think I have got that gist about hex 30 in the past so any clarification on that would be good.

I also asked, is it just not in his make up to care about me?
51.3,6 > 30

To me this says, no my fate is not to have him in my life, in friendship or otherwise (51.3 - that's the shock of fate!) And I have recently thought, maybe over-simplifying, that 51.6 describes unrequited love? As in I'm the neighbour, he can see I've been struck and he's staying away... And again 30 - we don't need each other? Hex 30 also says about how you should get out there and spread your warmth and inspiration indiscriminately. Perhaps he was just a bright bird (as Lise puts it) that inspired me and then flew flew away...

Anyone have any experience with anything here especially hex 30?

:bows:

 

[my_key]

"Wow" for me is always a positive exclaimation.

 

[em ching]

Thanks for the encouragement
I wonder if hex 30 is just acknowledging that his influence has enlightened me in some way... I just wish he could see too.. but maybe I just wasn't the flaming bird that he was for me...
And perhaps, not being able to see him in the flesh, and the fact that the channels of communication are now closed because of his and my behaviour, has meant that I have only just realised this, and now it's too late to express. Maybe I have also just created someone else that I will eventually discover isn't him.. . maybe he is now just in my imagination.. I'm just torn over what to believe. I think I just need to stop trying to second guess and have trust that this is the way things are meant to be, and I have done my best, and there is nothing more to do... and so, I should get into the lotus position and detach!... I suppose I keep feeling the urge to prove myself to him, express myself more clearly and honestly than I have done in the past, which is something in me that needs addressing, not his problem... and I do not want to seem any more deaf to hints and stop signs. This particular outlet is either closed for repairs, or indefinitely.. Silly Em

 

[em ching]

Wow.. think I've slightly de-humanised him too. This would all be rather hard for anyone to live up to.
Who knows what love is..

 

[my_key]

Wow

 

[em ching]

 

[my_key]

 

[Trojina]

"Wow" for me is always a positive exclaimation.

Hi em ching.

The only comment I want to make is "WOW!!":bows:

Mike

Wow

Okay Mykey either you have ;

a. attained enlightenment
b. are on drugs
c. have become master of the art of the unfathomable cryptic comment...

or all three

now sing along http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhAmNuDlGIs

 

[em ching]

Oh dear - think Kate Bush on that stage is me - 'time and time again'... in the wow vibe..
Don't know if I can move like that though...

... hex 30 anyone?....

(and shall we go with c. for it brought us Kate Bush and her moves

 

[Trojina]

Erm.. do you mean Wow as in 'I can't believe she's still asking about this' or that my interpretations sound about right? No burning embers of hope left, just the ash, and having to swallow the truth? Does hex 30 generally denote clinging to someone or something else unhealthily? Or two people who do not need each other to burn brightly - they can do it on their own ie. are not meant to be together? Naybe that's over-generalisation, but I think I have got that gist about hex 30 in the past so any clarification on that would be good.

I also asked, is it just not in his make up to care about me?
51.3,6 > 30

To me this says, no my fate is not to have him in my life, in friendship or otherwise (51.3 - that's the shock of fate!) And I have recently thought, maybe over-simplifying, that 51.6 describes unrequited love? As in I'm the neighbour, he can see I've been struck and he's staying away... And again 30 - we don't need each other? Hex 30 also says about how you should get out there and spread your warmth and inspiration indiscriminately. Perhaps he was just a bright bird (as Lise puts it) that inspired me and then flew flew away...

Anyone have any experience with anything here especially hex 30?

:bows:

Hi Em, re your first set of answers, 40 unchanging etc I think I'd agree with your take on them. The 54 answer did look like you weren't really on equal footing, perhaps being more secondary than you'd like., I'd maybe see the 30 as your clarity of perception about this.

Re these answers 51.3.6 >30 "is it not in his make up to care about me" well wow theres a question with alot of pain behind it. You are looking for a reason as to why he didn't give you the love you needed, its been very traumatic for you, you're trying to make sense of it...and it probably isn't something we can ever make sense of its just painful .

IOW its impossible to make sense of not being loved by the one we love and want to love us so we have to go through all this processing of it as you are..as pain needs processing. So I'm seeing your questions as part of your way to process the pain so it makes some kind of sense to you. I dunno quite how to interpret 51>30 in terms of the question as your question is really a 'why didn't this person love me', and beneath that question is the question "is it my fault was it something i did or is it just him ?" becasue thats always an issue for you, whether its your fault or not.

Well even without the Yi I'd say no its not your fault its just how it worked out but its really stunned you till you can't think clearly (51.3) and alot of it is really due to circumstance outside your control, ie his emotions etc etc. (51.6)

I'm really illiterate with hex 30 so maybe someone else can help more with that. As a relating hexagram i tend to think it may show you have clarity around that issue...but I'm not clear about clarity

Meantime its hard work for you processing all this. Rest assured everyone goes through all these thoughts when things don't work out like 'why did it happen', 'what did i do wrong' but try not to self torture too much. If this guy was really right for you it would have worked out.

Hang in there


Heck i just noticed i said 'wow' without thinking about it, now underlined...thats Mykey making me go all psychedelic like him....

 

[em ching]

Wow dude, yeah, he's like brainwashing us lol

Thanks for taking time out to help me with these answers as always, I know this guy has cropped up a lot and I have been helped alot here with this particular issue so thanks all as always.

Yes I'm trying to process the pain, and quash any naughty hopes that keep worming in yup still in that stage... or the tail end of it (Denial)

I just felt so clear about him.. but as you say, if he was the one it would've worked out, no matter what I did or didn't do. And there were signs that I didn't heed but rather bull-dozed down - and this is where it's got me.. ah well.

Love is blind (and don't I know it )

:bows: