End of the Trail? 46.1 to 11 and 19.6 to 41

[arabella]

I've just been through four years of contention and hassle over a former marriage and had to plow my way through a difficult house sale in another country to reach any conclusions to the property settlement. This was all concluded in July and, on consulting a lawyer, I was advised to write to my former spouse and tell him he deserved none of the proceeds of the house but, to avoid a lawsuit with him I'd give him a third of the original award to him -- the choice is his whether to start a legal suit or settle now.

I've asked the Yi, first of all what sort of response I'd get and then how matters proceed from here.

The response was cast as Hex 19.6 becoming Hex 41 and the road foward or "how matters proceed from here" is Hex 46.1 to Hex 11.

It all looks very good to me -- unless I'm missing something -- that although I'd imagine him to be shocked and angry as he's not a nice guy at all -- 19.6 calls for him to answer politely and 46.1 would mean I will be able to move forward in life now without difficulty. Or is there a way to read these that I'm just not seeing?

I really hope this can be over and I can at last have my life back. :bows:

 

[arabella]

Also, trying to narrow this to whether we'll have further argument I asked: What's the likelihood he will want a court battle? And I've received Hexagram 50.2.4.6 that becomes Hexagram 15. This I'd read as follows. Line two would indicate he knows there is a lot at stake and he stands to lose. 50.4 would say that he has made a mess [and I guess he knows that?] and is angry. The reason the house sale dragged on and on and had such a poor result is his doing. I had to return to France and sort this out. And I did, but ended up losing my flat, and all my stuff. Now I'm starting from nothing with the house proceeds -- that are half what they should have been. In Hexagram 50.6 I would say I get the answer from him that I need -- that he isn't planning to fight, will accept what has been said, and I have the rest of my life before me anyway. Hexagram 15 would indicate to me that he is taking some responsibility for having caused the trouble and being more upright than usual. Would appreciate anyone else's perspective!

 

[Trojina]

I've just been through four years of contention and hassle over a former marriage and had to plow my way through a difficult house sale in another country to reach any conclusions to the property settlement. This was all concluded in July and, on consulting a lawyer, I was advised to write to my former spouse and tell him he deserved none of the proceeds of the house but, to avoid a lawsuit with him I'd give him a third of the original award to him -- the choice is his whether to start a legal suit or settle now.

I've asked the Yi, first of all what sort of response I'd get and then how matters proceed from here.

The response was cast as Hex 19.6 becoming Hex 41 and the road foward or "how matters proceed from here" is Hex 46.1 to Hex 11.

It all looks very good to me -- unless I'm missing something -- that although I'd imagine him to be shocked and angry as he's not a nice guy at all -- 19.6 calls for him to answer politely and 46.1 would mean I will be able to move forward in life now without difficulty. Or is there a way to read these that I'm just not seeing?

I really hope this can be over and I can at last have my life back. :bows:

It looks good to me too. In 41 a smaller offering suffices. I think the 19.6 shows an appropriate offering/sharing...its all okay

 

[Trojina]

Also, trying to narrow this to whether we'll have further argument I asked: What's the likelihood he will want a court battle? And I've received Hexagram 50.2.4.6 that becomes Hexagram 15. This I'd read as follows. Line two would indicate he knows there is a lot at stake and he stands to lose. 50.4 would say that he has made a mess [and I guess he knows that?] and is angry. The reason the house sale dragged on and on and had such a poor result is his doing. I had to return to France and sort this out. And I did, but ended up losing my flat, and all my stuff. Now I'm starting from nothing with the house proceeds -- that are half what they should have been. In Hexagram 50.6 I would say I get the answer from him that I need -- that he isn't planning to fight, will accept what has been said, and I have the rest of my life before me anyway. Hexagram 15 would indicate to me that he is taking some responsibility for having caused the trouble and being more upright than usual. Would appreciate anyone else's perspective!

Perhaps he sees in some small way now that the finality of this is a good thing which he resisted before. Certainly I feel he isn't completely out of touch with the reality of the situation now (hex 15) Perhaps he would not want to concede that to you openly...that may make him feel as in 50.4....but it might be amongst all his unhappy feelings about whats happening with you and the property for him theres a glimmer of light at the prospect of completion...not least the money he will get...which I kind of feel he won't argue too much about and the phrase 'a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush' comes to mind. I may be wrong but the impression I have of him is almost as a kind of vagabond....and what vagabond could resist a wad of cash and the end of a messy situation.

Fighting you would take energy...and something makes me feel that though he may feel some humiliation (50.4) and resentment to you (50.2) he knows deep down all this is in his interests too (50.6) You can both hold whats yours and be richer. He gets a bit of a slap but his vagabond eye also finds a wadge of cash something that may take him to 50.6.


Looking at the change patterns the lines make I see hex 64...'before completion', is how you enter the question and hex 63 'completion' is how you exit it. To me thats a good omen...and what i like about these casts is that although I know hes the 'baddie' here I think this enables both of you to move on...not just you..So I think in a way you have enabled his karma


'enabled his karma' I'm channeling hippie this morning...but I mean I feel you moved both of you on and he is, in some part of his soul, meeting that in a good way (19.6)


I can recall getting 19.6 over a dreaded meeting at a group event...I was worried about a real clash...it didn't happen...it was all okay. Interesting its come up for you also about a feeling of dread of how someone else will respond.


Hope I'm not wrong....that would be intolerable...for both of us !

 

[arabella]

Perhaps he sees in some small way now that the finality of this is a good thing which he resisted before. Certainly I feel he isn't completely out of touch with the reality of the situation now (hex 15) Perhaps he would not want to concede that to you openly...that may make him feel as in 50.4....but it might be amongst all his unhappy feelings about whats happening with you and the property for him theres a glimmer of light at the prospect of completion...not least the money he will get...which I kind of feel he won't argue too much about and the phrase 'a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush' comes to mind. I may be wrong but the impression I have of him is almost as a kind of vagabond....and what vagabond could resist a wad of cash and the end of a messy situation.

Fighting you would take energy...and something makes me feel that though he may feel some humiliation (50.4) and resentment to you (50.2) he knows deep down all this is in his interests too (50.6) You can both hold whats yours and be richer. He gets a bit of a slap but his vagabond eye also finds a wadge of cash something that may take him to 50.6.


Looking at the change patterns the lines make I see hex 64...'before completion', is how you enter the question and hex 63 'completion' is how you exit it. To me thats a good omen...and what i like about these casts is that although I know hes the 'baddie' here I think this enables both of you to move on...not just you..So I think in a way you have enabled his karma


'enabled his karma' I'm channeling hippie this morning...but I mean I feel you moved both of you on and he is, in some part of his soul, meeting that in a good way (19.6)


I can recall getting 19.6 over a dreaded meeting at a group event...I was worried about a real clash...it didn't happen...it was all okay. Interesting its come up for you also about a feeling of dread of how someone else will respond.


Hope I'm not wrong....that would be intolerable...for both of us !

You aren't wrong at all Trojan, no worries there -- in fact couldn't be more completely right if you tried. He doesn't want to fight although he's got a violent streak surely enough. After he received my letter, he tried calling me first to yell in the phone, but I've programmed in his number as an alert, and I didn't answer. He left me a nasty message anyway, but I figured -- stick and stones...... Then I just waited and he tried an email that essentially said I had it all wrong and he couldn't answer blind accusations that were nothing but guesses and fantasies of mine. That I did answer, giving him six examples of why he should know me better than that and the evidence, proof and witnesses he'd face in a courtroom if he wants to carry this further rather than accept the inevitable.

His next email had a resignation that accompanies being found out when you've pulled the best bluff you know how to and it didn't work at all. And he said he's accepted that I'm telling the truth and there's no response he can make, so let's just get on with the payout, although he wishes he could see me one more time. A bit of a ne'er-do-well lowlife in reality. I met him as an opera producer -- where he was a genius of a performer and an unexcelled voice, no one more generous and professional than he was on stage. That person isn't the real one, although he can still use the drama to good effect sometimes making me feel guilty and sub-human if I try to hold him accountable for anything. He did try it one more time -- but this time it didn't work. I've finally learned although it still leaves a pang or two, believe it or not. But it's been such a long haul with no good moments in five years -- as you point out even he must be sick of it and glad to see an end since he knows there is no way I'll have him back.

Now I'm awaiting his written statement for the lawyer that this is "full and final settlement" and the matter is closed. I have to say, I never cease to be amazed by people who play all ends to the middle and haven't got a truthful bone in their body. There is no internal place where they face themselves, instead forcing other people to drag them up by the scruff and demand honour from them. It's a bit like "Oh sorry dahling if I stabbed ya in the back and left ya fer dead -- 'ere give us a kiss why don't chuh? And he's absolutely serious. I think it's the mentality that sometimes arises when people grow up in poverty and never have a sense of the worth of anything except what you can get by with. I thought he'd gotten past that as he rose to quite a height in theatre and had a lot to lose; but that obviously not the case. He can let it all go to hell or not, based on the whim of the moment. And, you're dead on correct too that he was glad to get what he got. Unbelievable, but true. He's fallen a long way from where he once stood. It's sad.

My fears of his reaction were for nothing. You're right again -- he has no fight in him knowing he will certainly lose. Even the "victory" is a bit of a sadness for me because I've, despite all, tried to see him as sensible and honourable and he is neither. I can't believe I was quite so stupid as to miss all the clues of how he lives and has lived. He is quite dramatic, if nothing else, and has milked the situation for every glimmer of regret he can get from me. This is the last.

Great to hear from you T, and to have the benefit of your insight into this person. Almost as though you've met him. And I appreciate your braving the wilds of SR to weigh in with your opinion. PS -- Once this nonsense is concluded I hope to get back to Clarity in full battle array. Really miss the folk, and the wisdom, here.

 

[arabella]

Speaking of karma -- somebody told me that my birthdate in a numerological sense gives me the mission of understanding "the abuse of love." I think they said it's a 13/4 karmic destiny. I do understand it at long last how love can be thoroughly abused and change the direction of one's life. Love has been used against me from the day I was born. But no more; I get it now. I don't know what my Ex's karma was, but maybe his mission was learning that you can't get by with faking love as part of an imaginary drama, it has to be real.

 

[dragona]

Hello, glad to hear the past is receding in a way that is not harming you too much. Au revoir,d.

 

[precision grace]

I hope it all goes well and without hassle. In particular, 46.1 (the joyful sacrifice) seems to say that he will be beside himself with joy at your sacrifice of 1/3rd of the profit and will let the rest proceed smoothly. at least we are all keeping fingers crossed that that should be the case http://www.i-tjingcentrum.nl/serendipity/archives/67-The-sheng-sacrifice-at-Qi-Shan.html

:hugs:

 

[arabella]

I hope it all goes well and without hassle. In particular, 46.1 (the joyful sacrifice) seems to say that he will be beside himself with joy at your sacrifice of 1/3rd of the profit and will let the rest proceed smoothly. at least we are all keeping fingers crossed that that should be the case http://www.i-tjingcentrum.nl/serendipity/archives/67-The-sheng-sacrifice-at-Qi-Shan.html

:hugs:

Thanks PG. It's not actually a third of the profits -- but a third of a half share that would have been his if he'd done as he should have. So, a sixth in fact of the proceeds. Which is why I was on tenterhooks whether he'd see the logic I saw -- or not. I would bet, in his heart of hearts, he wouldn't have been surprised to have nothing. But in my heart of hearts I couldn't leave him empty-handed. Thanks for chiming in and for your support -- I have fingers crossed to until it's all in the bag!