fan yaos, the same hexs, and two people

[itsyourlife]

What does it mean when you ask the oracle various questions and get the same hexagrams/fan yaos but in reverse?


Insight as to why 56 guy answers the phone but rushes me off?
19.2 >24

How to deal with X today?
24.2 >19

&

What will 56 guy mean for my relationship with X?
11.6 >26

What does 56 guy mean for my personal growth?
26.6 >11

 

[bradford]

It means you get to study the transformation backwards and forwards.
Maybe use the things you learn in one to understand the other, in both directions.

 

[itsyourlife]

ok. i like it.

 

[itsyourlife]

i was looking through my hexagram notebook and found another two from the past week but its not fan yaos its the same hexagram upside down.

How do I get to that easygoing place of love happiness for X?

31

&

Insight as what effect my message was to 56 guy?

32

 

[itsyourlife]

the genotype of (21) asks How does this hexagram resolve problems? and its phenotype is 31

from chris loftings site on hexagram 37
http://www.emotionaliching.com/lofting/bx110101.html
just because 37 was a hex i was getting a lot when it came to 56 guy a few months ago, and i felt it suited his situation.

and hex 21 when asked "How do I deal with my feelings for 56 guy"
so off that
how i view 56 guy, 37, is how i get to that place of easygoing love happiness (31) with X. the 21 manifests here when i know its good but i know theres something there thats "not cool" and i try to get it out of them. but since i dont know how to do it because i dont know if it is really there or not, i put blocks up to trigger responses that i feel would release that "not cool" thing that i am unsure is even there! and thats kind of messed up, isnt it? but is it, when the "not cool" thing actually does show up?
i asked a while back: What is my purpose in life or why am i here or something like that and got hex 40. flat. i think im getting it now. release is a very cool thing to be able to bring about. like "a summer storm breaks a heat wave".
somehow ive always managed to get myself mixed in with all kinds of folk. i can dodge peoples triggers well, but i have to be into them for whatever reason, to let themselves be so comfortable around me, otherwise ill put up some blocks, and boom, done.

Insight as what effect my message was to 56 guy? 32, here, could be referring to the genotype of (29)-patterns emerging, and when it asks How does this hexagram assert containment/control? it says 31, which could mean that thing i do, triggering responses i know need release, if done properly, will get me to that place without needing to trigger any malice or ill will, rancour, or anything bad which could be 32, the effect of my message to 56 guy.

does that make sense to anyone at all reading this or am i just crazy and need to go exercise or something?

thats my take on my 31 and 32 here.

i still dont get 26 really, so im not going there right now.

 

[foxx777]

the genotype of (21) asks How does this hexagram resolve problems? and its phenotype is 31

from chris loftings site on hexagram 37
http://www.emotionaliching.com/lofting/bx110101.html
just because 37 was a hex i was getting a lot when it came to 56 guy a few months ago, and i felt it suited his situation.

and hex 21 when asked "How do I deal with my feelings for 56 guy"
so off that
how i view 56 guy, 37, is how i get to that place of easygoing love happiness (31) with X. the 21 manifests here when i know its good but i know theres something there thats "not cool" and i try to get it out of them. but since i dont know how to do it because i dont know if it is really there or not, i put blocks up to trigger responses that i feel would release that "not cool" thing that i am unsure is even there! and thats kind of messed up, isnt it? but is it, when the "not cool" thing actually does show up?
i asked a while back: What is my purpose in life or why am i here or something like that and got hex 40. flat. i think im getting it now. release is a very cool thing to be able to bring about. like "a summer storm breaks a heat wave".
somehow ive always managed to get myself mixed in with all kinds of folk. i can dodge peoples triggers well, but i have to be into them for whatever reason, to let themselves be so comfortable around me, otherwise ill put up some blocks, and boom, done.

Insight as what effect my message was to 56 guy? 32, here, could be referring to the genotype of (29)-patterns emerging, and when it asks How does this hexagram assert containment/control? it says 31, which could mean that thing i do, triggering responses i know need release, if done properly, will get me to that place without needing to trigger any malice or ill will, rancour, or anything bad..

does that make sense to anyone at all reading this or am i just crazy and need to go exercise or something?

thats my take on my 31 and 32 here.

i still dont get 26 really, so im not going there right now.

I think your take is excellent, very astute. Would you mind clarifying a bit more the section I have bolded in red above, in your post? Because it sounds like something which has often been at work with me, in relationships, and has frustrated me, and made me feel unappreciated or misunderstood. Or like the other is a hypocrite. I would like to hear more about how you understand this. thanx:bows:

 

[itsyourlife]

I think your take is excellent, very astute. Would you mind clarifying a bit more the section I have bolded in red above, in your post? Because it sounds like something which has often been at work with me, in relationships, and has frustrated me, and made me feel unappreciated or misunderstood. Or like the other is a hypocrite. I would like to hear more about how you understand this. thanx:bows:

Yes! its like hypocrisy. Pretension. But why do you say it makes you feel unappreciated or misunderstood?

I cant put my finger on it, and everyones different, so it really depends on the person. But I think if you can tell theres something amiss, or it feels like they are fake, or they are dodging something, that could be it.

Say with this guy X, he is a type of therapist. He talks all lingo and refuses to use words like: need, should, try. Which is fine, but hes so crazy about it. He tells me how to be a "good person", a "better person", how to "get there" with the "least amount of effort". He claims he is somewhat of an expert when it comes to breakups and phobias, like spiders. He had gone through a 10 year break up and they were only together for less than a year (doesnt sound too expert to me) and when he told me about this relationship, it did not seem like he knew what he was doing, what he did, how it messed up nor how he managed. I could tell he wasnt there yet, expert my ass, he wasnt what he was claiming to be.
I should have realized then that this guy is no good. But I was lulled by his massive show of attention: gifts, cash, shopping, shows and "not eating at home". I had to get scratched by his cat and him apologizing by throwing me down via choke hold. Thats when I realized: GTFO, now.

I feel it with people in my social circle, friends or people that are close to me. I hang out with them a lot, we go out, they want to talk to me, they visit etc. Im not going out of my way visiting them, so I tolerate them at my place. But with friends its fine. Ill let them be as manic and blind and bitchy and boring as they want, be it they had a bad day, or they are going through something or thats just how they are. I choose these ones though. If the pretension is too much, or the person is too boring, I wouldnt be able to handle it. Some people wear masks all the time and sometimes its not worth finding out whats behind it.

When it comes to intimate relations though, I dont want any blocks, I dont care for pretension. I want to know the persons essence. If they are hiding it, or if its too dull from lack of sunshine, eventually you can see there is something there right?

Is it intuition, your gut feelings, your heart brain? I dont know. Once, X disparagingly gave me a look when I said 'my intuition tells me'. He proceeded to try and break down how I gleaned that bit of information through logic.
Made me think if he does not "believe" in intuition, does that mean he does not listen to himself? If he does not listen to himself, how can he hear other people clearly? How does he fix himself?

But tell me why it makes you feel misunderstood? If anything, when this happens to me, I am misunderstood, and Im probably better off, because I understand, I can get out of there because this other person is blind as a bat, flapping their wings right into my eyeballs.
Otherwise you can stick around and zigzag a way through, cos sometimes its way worth it, right?
A lot of people are insecure, avoiding hurt, have some kind of crazy situation, bare a shameful secret or are in the mafia, I dont know, whatever it is they can not tell you (yet) be it explicitly said or through time and your understanding them. They dodge, they give off strange vibes. They wear masks. But also, serial killers do http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144084/

or maybe they are psychotic.
well, maybe just guys I go for. haha. :cries:
off wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy
Psychopathy is defined by a pattern of problems in interpersonal relationships, emotion, and behavior. Hare summarizes the syndrome as a cluster of related symptoms in two broad categories. The Emotional/Interpersonal aspect includes: Glib and superficial; Egocentric and grandiose; Lack of remorse or guilt; Lack of empathy; Deceitful and manipulative; Shallow emotions. The Social Deviance aspect includes: Impulsive; Poor behavior controls; Need for excitement; Lack of responsibility; Early behavior problems; Adult antisocial behaviour.
Hare summarizes the characteristics as: "What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony". He adds that those who doubt that such individuals exist need only "consider the more dramatic examples of psychopathy that have been increasing in our society in recent years. Dozens of books, movies, and television programs, and hundreds of newspaper articles and headlines, tell the story..." He also notes that some psychopaths can blend in, undetected, in a variety of surroundings, including corporate environments. He has described psychopaths as "intraspecies predators". Simon has also used the word predator to describe psychopaths. Hare has said that "conceptualizing psychopaths as remorseless predators helped me to make sense of what often appears to be senseless behavior". He details what he sees as aspects of this, such as unempathic manipulation, selfishness, violating social norms, and instrumental violence - meaning cold-blooded and casual.

 

[itsyourlife]

after some serious seriousness, i came up with something for 11.6 >< 26.6

What will 56 mean for my relationship with X?
11.6 >26

What does 56 mean for my personal growth?
26.6 >11

56 means that i look and be with X (in these sudden relations) from a distance, be light in the exchange but look to see its big picture, the long term perspective, and if it fits my idea of what i am. my walls of defence come down: my outdated m.o. fades, because i have a temple in the sky, 56, an ideal that balances me quickly back to my ever changing reality.
56 for my personal growth means that when i am able to rock and not roll, im on the stairway to heaven. it means when i am not swayed by falsity or predatory influences, that i keep my balance, my ground, i have a temple. 56 keeps my bad in check and my intuition up. it makes me believe in myself, do and act like the the heir that i am. after all, i do come from a noble family decreed by a king on one side, and a noble family of patriotic heros on the other. gotta keep up the standards, right?


when writing this out i remembered the song stairway to heaven i went and looked for the lyrics, which i hadnt known before. pretty cool synchronicity is. thought it was very my learning process of 26.6

"Stairway To Heaven"

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stars are all close
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all is one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

-led zepplin

 

[itsyourlife]

ive been trying to think of reading the lines by trigrams and their yin and yang aspects and relationships to one another. ive known i should learn that. im a slow learner but i think ill get it down and ill have richer experience this way.

 

[foxx777]

Yes! its like hypocrisy. Pretension. But why do you say it makes you feel unappreciated or misunderstood?

I cant put my finger on it, and everyones different, so it really depends on the person. But I think if you can tell theres something amiss, or it feels like they are fake, or they are dodging something, that could be it.

Say with this guy X, he is a type of therapist. He talks all lingo and refuses to use words like: need, should, try. Which is fine, but hes so crazy about it. He tells me how to be a "good person", a "better person", how to "get there" with the "least amount of effort". He claims he is somewhat of an expert when it comes to breakups and phobias, like spiders. He had gone through a 10 year break up and they were only together for less than a year (doesnt sound too expert to me) and when he told me about this relationship, it did not seem like he knew what he was doing, what he did, how it messed up nor how he managed. I could tell he wasnt there yet, expert my ass, he wasnt what he was claiming to be.
I should have realized then that this guy is no good. But I was lulled by his massive show of attention: gifts, cash, shopping, shows and "not eating at home". I had to get scratched by his cat and him apologizing by throwing me down via choke hold. Thats when I realized: GTFO, now.

I feel it with people in my social circle, friends or people that are close to me. I hang out with them a lot, we go out, they want to talk to me, they visit etc. Im not going out of my way visiting them, so I tolerate them at my place. But with friends its fine. Ill let them be as manic and blind and bitchy and boring as they want, be it they had a bad day, or they are going through something or thats just how they are. I choose these ones though. If the pretension is too much, or the person is too boring, I wouldnt be able to handle it. Some people wear masks all the time and sometimes its not worth finding out whats behind it.

When it comes to intimate relations though, I dont want any blocks, I dont care for pretension. I want to know the persons essence. If they are hiding it, or if its too dull from lack of sunshine, eventually you can see there is something there right?

Is it intuition, your gut feelings, your heart brain? I dont know. Once, X disparagingly gave me a look when I said 'my intuition tells me'. He proceeded to try and break down how I gleaned that bit of information through logic.
Made me think if he does not "believe" in intuition, does that mean he does not listen to himself? If he does not listen to himself, how can he hear other people clearly? How does he fix himself?

But tell me why it makes you feel misunderstood? If anything, when this happens to me, I am misunderstood, and Im probably better off, because I understand, I can get out of there because this other person is blind as a bat, flapping their wings right into my eyeballs.
Otherwise you can stick around and zigzag a way through, cos sometimes its way worth it, right?
A lot of people are insecure, avoiding hurt, have some kind of crazy situation, bare a shameful secret or are in the mafia, I dont know, whatever it is they can not tell you (yet) be it explicitly said or through time and your understanding them. They dodge, they give off strange vibes. They wear masks. But also, serial killers do http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144084/

or maybe they are psychotic.
well, maybe just guys I go for. haha. :cries:
off wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy
Psychopathy is defined by a pattern of problems in interpersonal relationships, emotion, and behavior. Hare summarizes the syndrome as a cluster of related symptoms in two broad categories. The Emotional/Interpersonal aspect includes: Glib and superficial; Egocentric and grandiose; Lack of remorse or guilt; Lack of empathy; Deceitful and manipulative; Shallow emotions. The Social Deviance aspect includes: Impulsive; Poor behavior controls; Need for excitement; Lack of responsibility; Early behavior problems; Adult antisocial behaviour.
Hare summarizes the characteristics as: "What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony". He adds that those who doubt that such individuals exist need only "consider the more dramatic examples of psychopathy that have been increasing in our society in recent years. Dozens of books, movies, and television programs, and hundreds of newspaper articles and headlines, tell the story..." He also notes that some psychopaths can blend in, undetected, in a variety of surroundings, including corporate environments. He has described psychopaths as "intraspecies predators". Simon has also used the word predator to describe psychopaths. Hare has said that "conceptualizing psychopaths as remorseless predators helped me to make sense of what often appears to be senseless behavior". He details what he sees as aspects of this, such as unempathic manipulation, selfishness, violating social norms, and instrumental violence - meaning cold-blooded and casual.

Oh, I am sorry I did not get to this sooner! Your interpretation of this "offness" is very astute. And I would agree, with friends or acquaintances, you can cut plenty of slack or even keep things somewhat surface, but not in intimate relationships - unless you do not mind feeling alienated and lonely.

I think what I meant by my feeling misunderstood, or unappreciated, is when I am being honest and open, and the other person's defenses makes them misinterpret it, or throw it back on me. I see the hypocrisy, but they do not: They become more and more self righteous. Aaargh.

Do you know a very similar thing as your "chokehold" happened to me: I was very young, and with an older guy who said he was my savior (I actually believed such drivel at 21). Same thing, I dropped a something in bed, (earring or something) and was looking for it, and he grabbed my hair, punched my arm, and threw me off the bed in order to help me find it.

Also had someone recently (I am a widow, and do not really date, but have male online "friends" if you can even call them that ) do the intuition thing: I said I intuited something, he got snide, said there is no such thing, and that it offends him to hear that word. This tells me a lot of things, none of them good. Anyway, I loved and truly appreciate your insights!!!!:bows:

 

[foxx777]

What does 56 mean for my personal growth?
26.6 >11

56 means that i look and be with X (in these sudden relations) from a distance, be light in the exchange but look to see its big picture, the long term perspective, and if it fits my idea of what i am. my walls of defence come down: my outdated m.o. fades, because i have a temple in the sky, 56, an ideal that balances me quickly back to my ever changing reality.
56 for my personal growth means that when i am able to rock and not roll, im on the stairway to heaven. it means when i am not swayed by falsity or predatory influences, that i keep my balance, my ground, i have a temple. 56 keeps my bad in check and my intuition up. it makes me believe in myself, do and act like the the heir that i am. after all, i do come from a noble family decreed by a king on one side, and a noble family of patriotic heros on the other. gotta keep up the standards, right?

Very well said!!!!!!:bows: I also come from noble heritage (though not so elevated as your own ) and also had one of those "off" guys once throw THAT back in my face: Said I had "elitist tendencies" which I do not. EXCELLENT ANALYSIS!!!! BRAVO (OR BRAVA AS IT WERE, AS YOU ARE FEMALE , I ASSUME)

 

[itsyourlife]

Oh, I am sorry I did not get to this sooner! Your interpretation of this "offness" is very astute. And I would agree, with friends or acquaintances, you can cut plenty of slack or even keep things somewhat surface, but not in intimate relationships - unless you do not mind feeling alienated and lonely.

I think what I meant by my feeling misunderstood, or unappreciated, is when I am being honest and open, and the other person's defenses makes them misinterpret it, or throw it back on me. I see the hypocrisy, but they do not: They become more and more self righteous. Aaargh.

Do you know a very similar thing as your "chokehold" happened to me: I was very young, and with an older guy who said he was my savior (I actually believed such drivel at 21). Same thing, I dropped a something in bed, (earring or something) and was looking for it, and he grabbed my hair, punched my arm, and threw me off the bed in order to help me find it.

Also had someone recently (I am a widow, and do not really date, but have male online "friends" if you can even call them that ) do the intuition thing: I said I intuited something, he got snide, said there is no such thing, and that it offends him to hear that word. This tells me a lot of things, none of them good. Anyway, I loved and truly appreciate your insights!!!!:bows:

THE COMMON THEME HERE SEEMS TO BE PSYCHOPATHIC OR SOCIOPATHIC MEN AND MY (YOURS TOO?) ABILITY TO SUSTAIN SUCH RELATIONS BECAUSE WE ARE CAPABLE OF IMMENSE TOLERANCE!!!

its a bit disheartening really. to go back in time with this knowledge and see truly, that wow, every guy ive been with for over 10 years is most likely a psychopath. varying degrees, of course, but if i really think about it, the connection i failed to achieve with these partners is not my inability which i chucked to childhood abuse, but rather my ability to sustain such abuse and neglect, emotionally and physically.
Since I am looking for that "love" that i never properly understood through lack of parental guidance, and the fact that i so deperately want it, i go for guys that are predatory in seeking out women capable of putting up with their lack of emotional connection.
#takesuppraying

56 guy was the biggest, most classic case of a psychopathic man. that could be the reason why i held him in my head for so long because i knew inside that he typified my experiences. with 56 in mind, i saw through X all the more easily.

X/choke hold guy told me that he is a psychopath. He actually told me. hes recently come to that realization. he said hes always known there was something wrong with him and that he knew when he would turn 40 he'd figure it out. he asked his only friend, hey i think im a psychopath, to which his friend replies "yep". he told me this the day he figured it out, he "apologized" and the next day he stepped up and paid my rent like he said he would "help me".
whats funny is 56 guy also mentioned something to do with his turning 40 and that when he turned 40 he would be "ok". he could get married then. he also pleaded with me a few times to wait for him. "please wait for me" "will you wait for me" and im not sure if maybe psychopathic guys who are aware of their condition think that when they reach maturity, they will figure it out. it could also be my flawed overtly accepting and forgiving nature. go figure.
i aint waiting for no one but myself, to figure myself out.

ps. my mother is a narcissist or probably a psychopath. not sure. dont care. she sucked.

 

[foxx777]

THE COMMON THEME HERE SEEMS TO BE PSYCHOPATHIC OR SOCIOPATHIC MEN AND MY (YOURS TOO?) ABILITY TO SUSTAIN SUCH RELATIONS BECAUSE WE ARE CAPABLE OF IMMENSE TOLERANCE!!!

its a bit disheartening really. to go back in time with this knowledge and see truly, that wow, every guy ive been with for over 10 years is most likely a psychopath. varying degrees, of course, but if i really think about it, the connection i failed to achieve with these partners is not my inability which i chucked to childhood abuse, but rather my ability to sustain such abuse and neglect, emotionally and physically.
Since I am looking for that "love" that i never properly understood through lack of parental guidance, and the fact that i so deperately want it, i go for guys that are predatory in seeking out women capable of putting up with their lack of emotional connection.
#takesuppraying

56 guy was the biggest, most classic case of a psychopathic man. that could be the reason why i held him in my head for so long because i knew inside that he typified my experiences. with 56 in mind, i saw through X all the more easily.

Yep. Roger all that. You said it, sister. This is the pattern. No doubt about it. I shudder when I look back at my long-suffering, almost masochistic patience with a long line of narcissists and sociopaths. You have to laugh, in a way.

But yes, whether we reach awareness at 30, or 40 (like Mr. Chokehold ) or 50 or 70, there has to be that moment where we look inwardly, for the love.

We become our own parents, and stop repeating patterns from our flawed ones, and the men who mirror them. & the Yi Jing helps us to do this, I think. Bless. :bows:

 

[itsyourlife]

Yep. Roger all that. You said it, sister. This is the pattern. No doubt about it. I shudder when I look back at my long-suffering, almost masochistic patience with a long line of narcissists and sociopaths. You have to laugh, in a way.

But yes, whether we reach awareness at 30, or 40 (like Mr. Chokehold ) or 50 or 70, there has to be that moment where we look inwardly, for the love.

We become our own parents, and stop repeating patterns from our flawed ones, and the men who mirror them. & the Yi Jing helps us to do this, I think. Bless. :bows:

geez louise!!!

last night i spoke to my oldest friend in this country and hes heard everything. hes gay and an artist and is quite lovely.
so i tell him: "hey, i think i figured it out, i go psychopaths!"
his reply was: "and youre only realizing this now darling?"
lmao!!!

 

[foxx777]

geez louise!!!

last night i spoke to my oldest friend in this country and hes heard everything. hes gay and an artist and is quite lovely.
so i tell him: "hey, i think i figured it out, i go psychopaths!"
his reply was: "and youre only realizing this now darling?"
lmao!!!

Oh, that is beautiful! A classic gay rejoinder, full of shrewdness, and to the point!