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Fear of Crashing

magictortoise

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I am taking a flight from the West Coast to the East Coast this weekend. For many years I have been afraid of flying, or more precisely, afraid of crashing. Usually when I fly (about every two years)I am on the edge of my seat the entire trip and I can't get enough time off to make a land trip. This has been the case long before 9/11. Actually since I was 25 or so. When I was younger I use to love to fly. Anyway as the time approaches this fear is on my mind and I am aware that imagination plays a big role. Still I would like to deal with the fear so I asked the oracle the following question:

Given my fear of crashing what ought I to be doing about it? I received 39(3,6)->20. Bearing in mind that the question is about dealing with the fear and not about making the actual trip, I am wondering what you might make of the reply.

I took it to mean that I ought to quit obsessing about it, that obsessing will just lead to further obstruction. Quit the vain imaginings. That I should direct my will to interior things, born out by the derived hexagram of contemplation. That maybe this is the occasion to contemplate coming to be and passing away in the larger sense.

When I made my reservations for the trip my intuition didn't tell me not to go so I am on firm ground that the voyage should be made...its just being suspended so far above the ground..in a fragile craft...............

Thanks for any insights.

Ken
 

dobro p

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Given my fear of crashing what ought I to be doing about it? I received 39(3,6)->20. Bearing in mind that the question is about dealing with the fear and not about making the actual trip, I am wondering what you might make of the reply.

I took it to mean that I ought to quit obsessing about it, that obsessing will just lead to further obstruction.

I don't see how you can choose to quit obsessing about it, cuz the fear is obviously irrational and coming at you from your blind side. How do I know it's irrational? Cuz flying is statistically safer than driving to the next city. I also think that the Yi's response to your question takes that obsession into account. Here's what I think it's saying: "Your fear of crashing is a case of Hex 39, of hindered advance, as if you're limping. The best way to deal with it is to watch the fear, watch how it comes up, watch the flavor of it, watch how it responds to being faced and observed."

I see Hex 39 as describing your having to deal with the fear, and I see Hex 20 as the advice to observe it every time it arises.

You can't rid yourself of the fear of crashing just by deciding to do it, but you CAN decide to watch the fear no matter what happens. I have no idea if this will reduce or eliminate the fear, but I know that looking fear in the eye is an elegant way to deal with it, cuz it takes courage to look fear in the eye. And when you're scared, it's satisfying to find yourself taking a stance of courage.
 

magictortoise

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Dobro,
Thank you for the insight. It brought to mind a writer I had read long ago in the Sixties, J. Krishnamurti, who used to talk about watching every movement of the mind. Maybe you are familiar with his work. His book Freedom From The Known had made quite an impression on me at the time. It is easy to watch fear when I have to make a speech or date someone I have never been out with before, that is, in the little things. A little tougher when it concerns this fear I am at the moment dealing with. But I think Krishnamurti would say fear is fear, no matter what the external object. I think he would also say that it really doesn't matter whether the fear is reduced or eliminated. The matter is that we watch it.

Thanks for bringing all this to mind. BTW I liked your describing looking fear in the eye as 'elegant'. Interesting descriptive.

Ken
 

willowfox

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Hex 39.3,6 > 20 is telling you that as you have a fear of flying then don't give yourself a problem by doing it in the first place but line 6 says that as you have no choice then it is your duty to fly, you cannot shirk the responsibility that you have to others, so it would be a very good idea to share your fears, then you will receive some help. Hex 20 is telling you to contemplate the problem as though it were a stone, something that you can throw away, reject anytime you want too.
 

magictortoise

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Willowfox,
Thanks you for the response. Indeed I do have responsibilities on the East coast. I am traveling to my dad's town because he is now in assisted care and I need to help get his property/home ready for sale. Besides I haven't seen him in two years when I was back there to care for him after heart surgery.

In the five months I have been posting here I have never shared one of my own readings but I felt the need this time. Part of the process of sharing, as you stated.

Ken
 

mudpie

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dear Ken,
I have also had a fear of flying in the last 10 years, and it is disconcerting, so i can sympathize.
I think your 39.3.6 is telling you not to attack it head-on, such as trying to meet it with brute courage, but to maybe do exactly what you are doing here. talking with friends, finding inner resources.

I have a friend who is so afraid of flying that she needs to get completely drugged up to fly, and that is not a good alternative, obviously.

There is a drug however that is recommended for fear of flying, also for public speaking/public performance/stage fright. You can read about it in a book called Life Extensions by Durk Pearson and Sandy Shaw.

Generically, It is what is called a beta blocker, relatively safe. It does not alter your mind or your thinking in any way. What it does is to stop the physical symptoms of fear. your hands won't tremble, you wont have the physical sensation of panic, no dry mouth, pounding heartbeat...etc. And because panic itself causes us to mentally panic more, it also relieves the racing thoughts, and the feeling of doom which are usually brought on by the rising fear. In short, a beta blocker allows you to mentally witness your fear without physically responding to it. and suprisingly, the physical symptoms are 90% of the problem! when your body is at ease, it is hard to freak out mentally.

Doctors do know about this use of this drug and many will prescribe it for fear of flying or stage fright....providing you're not contraindicated by some other condition ( doctor can say). It is ordinarily used for heart palpitations/heart murmurs. The only side effect is that it can lower your blood pressure a little. I have used it and I can say it absolutely works.

It actually "cures" stage fright and fear of flying, because believe it or not, after a few times, you get conditioned to not being afraid and then the trigger - such as getting on a plane or on a stage - does not cause the same fear reaction.

What also has helped me is the firm conviction that when our time is up, it is up. no escaping the moment of death. The chances are pretty good that this flight you take will be just another routine flight, and no more or less dangerous than getting into a car or an elevator or on a pair of skis up on a slope..What a pity to miss out on Rome, Paris, or even little old NY because of fear when our date with death isnt for another 50 years...or therebouts!
 

magictortoise

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Listener,
Thank you for your response. On actual flights I do not have any physical symptoms that you mention so I don't think matters have come to that pass. I just sit quietly, very attentive. It is difficult to distract myself by reading or writing. I am just perpetually watchful. The last time I flew (two years ago) I took the red eye so I did manage to sleep. I am doing that again. So that will help.

It is interesting that my mother tells the story that when I was a child I told everyone I wasn't going to drive because there are too many accidents on the road. LOL. But I think the roots of this fear, for that reason, are very deep. Something I would like to explore when the time is ripe. But right now I feel that to do so now will get me on the wrong side of the top line of hexagram 57, which cautions one to not penetrate things too deeply.( Wilhelm p. 223) It may not be time and I may need professional help to tackle this. Not timely right now.

At any rate I thank you for your suggestions.

Ken
 

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