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first post - and relationship question

minnie

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Dear forum,
this is my first post so please forgive me if i make silly questions.
I have a weird relationship with a guy I like very very much. He suffers from depression so it's not always easy. Physical and mental connection are there and strong ... we never talk about feelings though ... he just said he cares very much about me ... well better than nothing. The problem is that sometimes puf, he disappears, and not only from me bt from mutual friends and life in general. I know it is related to the illness but it is sometimes difficult for me. I know the potential is there ... and when he is well he is my ideal man, caring supportive funny generous ... anyhow i asked the future of the relationship and I got 14 to 37 ... is it as good as it sounds?
now i asked how do i make what we have a stable love relationship and i got 35.3.5 to 33. I can indeed make it progress succesfully by retraiting and make him come forward?
Thanks in advance for your help
Minnie
 

minnie

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oh and i asked how his feelings for me are going to develop in te next months (time frame i hd in mind is from here till the end of septermber) 31.1.2 ... ok so I I read it is he feels my influence, but he will wait because he feels it might be negative in some sort of way ... I'm not taking the most negative way to read it because of the first reading on the future of the relationship ... so it's going to take a wile and up until september .... nada. But the resulting hexagram is Breakthrough .... mmm on the negative we could say "he is going to feel you are a negative influence and he is going to leave you" on the positive side he is tarrying because he still feels something is not right and than there will be a breakthrough of some sort ... can you help? Thanks
Minnie
 

arabella

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I would interpret the first casting to say that this man would most benefit from a close and supportive group where he can feel ultimately accepted and learn to cope with his depression. He is frightened of having little to offer to you in stability. He has none himself. Your best move is to keep any ideas of a relationship in reserve, put no pressure on him, realise a love relationship isn't what he needs most, nor will that ideal serve you well in light of his inner turmoil.

In relation to Hex 35, I would suggest suggest to you that you should be holding onto a positive frame of mind yourself while realising the import of his disappearances. This should inspire you to pull back in recognition of the difficulties which lie ahead for him. You can be one of the supporting people but when you ask what can "I" do to make a stable love relationship, be aware that stability in a relationship comes from the strength of two, not one. Unless he gets help, he doesn't even have enough strength for himself, let alone anything to contribute. He has had the good grace to show you both sides of the coin, so you know that he isn't a whole person in terms of a partnership with you.
 

minnie

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thank you arabella, I cannot hide my slight disappointment for the first reading ... I really thought it was a positive sign for the future as the question was about the future of our love relationship. I know it is not going to be easy, he is getting help and taking medications and I love him. I really want for this to turn for the good for us ... but maybe there's just no hope
 

willowfox

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anyhow i asked the future of the relationship and I got 14.2,4,5 to 37 ...

The future bodes well, as oneday he should be able to accept the responsibility of having a family, so just be honest and sincere with him to boost his confidence and then oneday with perseverance you could well be a firm team, as in marriage.
 

willowfox

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now i asked how do i make what we have a stable love relationship and i got 35.3.5 to 33.


Well, you need to aid and support him, as you know there will be times when he cannot fare alone, so you will need to be like one of those quiet guide dogs, leading but not dictating, helping but not smothering, making decisions but not taking away his authority. Sort of like the Queen of pentacles. In the back ground but still prominent behind her King.

The need therefore to be sensible and practical and to give him confidence so that he can learn to trust you, trust is so important for this person.
 

willowfox

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oh and i asked how his feelings for me are going to develop in the next months (time frame i had in mind is from here till the end of September) 31.1.2 ... ok so I I

Slowly, so you need to be more attentive to him.
 

minnie

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Thank you so much willofox ... for him I'm ready to do whatever it takes, he is a very special person with a kind heart and as he recognised I am a patient and understanding person (only with people worth of it though) ... I have a father who after retiring became clinically depressed so I know more or less how to go around with them and what I most certainly know is that is a bumpy ride but illness does not diminish the intrinsic quality of a person and that is only with love and support (of course notwithstanding the absolute necessity of professional help and medication) they are able to see the bright side of life again ... i appreciated especially the suggestion from the Yi to find happiness in myself ... 35.3 ... what a great line and so applicable to all relationships. Thank you all for your time and I will let you know how it all went.
Minnie
 

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