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First world problem. Hex 17.1 and hex 48uc

Miki123

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This is about a (bad) boy:)) Long story..long: we are colleagues, attraction was quite obvious from the start, but I wanted smh serious he wanted casual sex. Talking about this I somewhat unknowingly hurt his (HUGE HUGE) ego partly by not wanting to sleep with him partly by overreacting and making him feel unwanted. From the next day on, no response to any text, two weeks later he is in a relationship with a girl i knew he found cute (I talked to him about her). Well he still is in that relationship for almost a year, and we are again working in the same group. So after what happened I started ignoring him (ugly looks and no hellos back) so after a while he started to act like me too.

So what would I possibly want more from this situation you could ask. Well, I don’t know exactly. I mean I know he is kind of a dick (at least in the first months of their relationship I know he kinda took advantage of her more than he was IN LOVE or something- things could have changed as with time we tend to attach) + the way he treated me out of frustration. So although he can be a dick, it is one I didn’t get:))

I guess when something doesn’t happen although it was reciprocal, you are left wondering what could have been (not even in the long run, but even just in that moment). Of course, I remained with a curiosity. This is explained partly by the fact that I hadn’t met anyone since, as opposed to him.

I asked IChing about the dinamics between us around this time, and the readings matched the ugly looks/avoidance/disinterest (honest disinterest from him, apparently not so honest from me).

Two of the readings have left me wondering as I view them in different ways and I don’t know which way too “choose”. I wanted second opinions before I say my own, just to see how others view the readings at first glancd.

How does he view me? As in what goes through his mind when around: 17.1 to 45

Is there smh I can do to regain his attention? 48 uc
Mind you I asked this not -necessarily- bc I would want to reattract his attention for blindly lust/longing for him but.. I have my ego that he hurt too.

Thank you!
 

marybluesky

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Hello Miki123!

"How does he view me?" Hex 17- followers- means that he has an eye on you. Line 1: "One's position is changing. To continue brings good fortune. Both friends and business are gained by going out. Success." Sounds like his attention is turning back to you. Interestingly, he is your coworker-maybe he plans to go out with you? Anyway, he intends & has enough power to bring your guys back together (Hex 45).

"Is there smh I can do to regain his attention?" Hex 48- The Well: "Welling, Potentialities Fulfilled, The Source." According to Liu: "The superior man inspires people to work diligently, and advises them to help each other." You can help him- more likely in the work.
Good luck!

*The italic parts are cited form http://www.jamesdekorne.com.
 

Miki123

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Thank you! As the situation doesn’t seem good, I was wandering if Yi doesn’t talk to me and reflect MY desires with 17.1 to 45. Although I specifically asked and kept in mind HIS view.

As a general question, is there a way to know when Yi is talking to/about you instead about what/whom you ask? I heard that this can happen and it’s confusing.
 

Trojina

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Thank you! As the situation doesn’t seem good, I was wandering if Yi doesn’t talk to me and reflect MY desires with 17.1 to 45. Although I specifically asked and kept in mind HIS view.

As a general question, is there a way to know when Yi is talking to/about you instead about what/whom you ask? I heard that this can happen and it’s confusing.


No there isn't a way to tell so it is better not to ask about other people's point of view as you will mostly be hopelessly confused and even if you aren't practically what's the point since the only way you will get verification of the answer you think you got is by asking him.


I've not seen many threads where a person returns to say 'oh yes he did think that' .


We all ask such questions, I do myself now and then, but I don't think they are very helpful generally.


17.1 could be telling you to widen your horizons beyond him - no idea.


If you put you in the question, at the centre of the question you stand a better chance of understanding your answers....will post the sticky on relationship questions in case you haven't seen it though you probably have.


Here it is

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings





I'd say 'what do I need to know about this connection ?' or something like that is of more use.


You don't need to know what he is thinking you need to know how to conduct yourself towards him or a question where you can orientate yourself in the relationship.


The connection between you and Yi is to serve your overall growth as a human being. It is not to gain advantage over others by reading their thoughts. Sure there's times it could be helpful to see another's view, I'm not saying it can't happen but mostly it makes for confusion.


I also think there are sort of inbuilt ethics to asking about others. If you want to help someone or it's for a reason you need to see from their perspective it may work better I think. But the 'what does he think about me' questions are largely not worth asking.


We still ask them though - it's hard not to sometimes, but they aren't much help IMO
 
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diamanda

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How does he view me? As in what goes through his mind when around
17.1 > 45

Change at the workplace. Does he have the power to dismiss you from this work group? I'm not quite sure what this 'change' is about.

Is there smh I can do to regain his attention? 48 uc
I think you haven't lost his attention to begin with. 48 is something like savings in the bank for a time of need. I believe he knows that he can have you if he so wishes.

is there a way to know when Yi is talking to/about you instead about what/whom you ask?
It really helps to form your question carefully. Then read the cast as an answer to your exact question.
 

marybluesky

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I've read it's better to ask about what concerns you not someone else. Maybe, to say, the I Ching reflects your feelings/thoughts rather than the other's? I don't know much anyway.
 

Miki123

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Thank you! This is really helpful (formulating the question carefully), and I didn’t read the sticky on relationships.

I agree that the questions are better regarding myself, but unless it’s about personal development only it is hard to draw the line between you and crossing their intimacy.

I took Trojina’s advice and asked what do I need to know about our connection? And got 32.2 to 64

Another problem I have is that I often seem to interpret something in a number of possible different ways, some OPPOSITE to the others. I wonder how much of the IChing is what we choose to believe, or if I am a beginner and I don’t know to interpret properly.
 
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diamanda

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Another problem I have is that I often seem to interpret something in a number of possible different ways, some OPPOSITE to the others. I wonder how much of the IChing is what we choose to believe, or if I am a beginner and I don’t know to interpret properly.
This is a question for the Exploring Divination forum :)
 

Trojina

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Also don't forget there are learning materials here

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/learn/

There's the free course and then there is the Foundations Course you can start when you join CC or buy separately I think.

You can also just ask questions in these public forums of course but there are also very well designed learning resources available too if you ever need them plus a 'Yi Academy' in CC so you can talk about what you are learning.
 

Trojina

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I took Trojina’s advice and asked what do I need to know about our connection? And got 32.2 to 64


Well Hilary's translation says

'Regrets vanish' it doesn't seem very problematic, perhaps it is far less of a mess than you think it is. This line leaves me a bit blank to be honest, will have to look at my journal. Hilary's commentary suggests one becomes at peace with 'roads not taken', there's a realism and a readiness to do naturally what comes next. Could your future relationship be much simpler than it is now ?

Another problem I have is that I often seem to interpret something in a number of possible different ways, some OPPOSITE to the others. I wonder how much of the IChing is what we choose to believe, or if I am a beginner and I don’t know to interpret properly.


Well that's natural and a good sign really it shows you are trying to think from all angles. Also the funny thing with the I Ching is being a beginner doesn't mean you won't recognize an answer, sometimes you just will understand what it means for you.


I don't think the I Ching's answers are what we choose to believe at all since often it's answers surprise one with things one never even considered. If it were just a reflection of our thoughts I wouldn't bother using it.


That last question is one for Exploring Divination, as Diamanda said, if you wanted to discuss it more fully.
 
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Freedda

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How does he view me? As in what goes through his mind when around? 17.1 > 45

I'd guess the same thing as before or what's obvious: that he's not happy with you for dissing him, but hey, if you want to hook up, he still might be available.

Is there smh I can do to regain his attention? 48 uc

Well, since he asked you to hook up once ... maybe tell him 1) that you'd like to hook up with him, no strings attached, 2) that you are willing to have sex with both his girlfriend and him, and 3) you want to have sex with just his girlfriend, but he can watch. I'm sure that will get his attention -- or a restraining order, but that's a kind of attention isn't it?

is there a way to know when Yi is talking to/about you instead about what/whom you ask?

Personally, I don't know if the Yi even knows -- or cares -- what others are thinking or are going to do. However, it does always speak directly to you.
 

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