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Future of relationship: 13.1.5 into 56 unchanging

ellemijn

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Hello comunity!

I´ve been a few months asking the I ching Oracle about the problems and solutions in my relationship.I am living with my boyfriend for 5 months now, and I really love him as much as i think he does. But I am linving a very difficult postion now because I feel frustraded about my professional life, and it´s starting to affect my whole life and relationships. I feel insecure about myself (i never had this problem before) and it makes me feel too small in front of my circle of friends and in front of my boyfriend. Doubts, insecure feelings... he has a very good job and i feel I am not as good for him as i should, and somtimes I fear he could leave for a better "choice".

I asked the I ching Oracle about how will we be in the future according to my situation?

And the answer is: Hex 13.1.5 into 56.

Please, help me figure out! Sorry about my english. And thank you all fot you time.

Elleminj
 

mryou1

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13.1.5 > 56

I've lately been using hilary's idea that the relating hexagram is your relationship to or understanding of the situation as a whole, indicated by the primary hexagram. So here you feel like you're a guest amid friends.

Line 1:
Nearing: Concording people tending-towards gate | sojourning fragment fragment

You are heading towards a threshold where you and your boyfriend and friends will break up if you continue down this path of insecurity. But don't worry, the Chinese character for "tending-toward", Yu, indicates that this is just the way things are "tending", so this can be easily stopped. See line 5.

Line 5:
The Radiance: Concording people earlier crying-out sobbing and-also later laughing | shooting pheasant

Shooting the pheasant, or achieving success and getting to the heart of the matter, depends on being able to share your problems with your boyfriend and friends, but then letting go and moving on when they've been resolved.
 

troubadour

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ElleMijn I suffer from a lack of self-confidence at times and have had to learn that what makes me significant and special as a person isn't my job, or my possessions, or status, but my personality and the way I behave with other people. You sound like a really nice person, shy and modest, and more worried about what others think of you than the impression they make on you. Your boyfriends sounds like a really lucky fellow, and I hope he knows it, and I hope he makes you feel secure and loved for who you are, rather than what you do.

The Yi seems to be saying some interesting things in a very direct answer to your question.

Firstly, in general, in my view, Hexagram 13 is more about collegiality and platonic friendship than love.

13.1 suggests something is at an early stage - have you and your boyfriend known each other long?

13.5 is pretty cool, as a promise of real human connection. It says there will be tears and maybe tantrums but no less than Confucius said the following about this line:

When two people are at one in their inmost hearts
They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze
And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts
Their words are sweet and strong like the fragrance of orchids.

So maybe you need to ask yourself if this is how your boyfriend really makes you feel.

If he doesn't, well Hexagram 56 means that maybe it is time to have a look around at the wider world and see what is out there for you?

Hope this helps!
 

gene

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hello ellemijn

As has already been mentioned, hexagram 13 is more about companionship than full relationship. Also, the two changing lines are both yang, and they are far away from each other. Nor do they have any relationship of correspondence. The first line speaks of friendship only, and the commentary says, "secret relationships (personal ones) bring misfortune."

However, the fifth line is more promising. And as much as everything seems to be negative so to speak, I am not so sure that it totally is. The fifth line says, "After great struggles they succeed in meeting." The commentary says, "Two people are outwardly separated, but in their hearts they are united."

Hexagram fifty six would quite often mean a temporary relationship, but here I think it has a different connotation, and this is why. It seems to me you are too concerned about things that probably don't matter. A woman's station in life is not nearly as important to at least most men, as it often is to women. A man chooses for other reasons than social status. Your doubts and insecurities are the "secret agreements" mentioned in line one. If you get your self confidence back, I think you will see things a little differently. Are your doubts and insecurities based on anything that has actually happened? And if so is it the real situation or just the way you perceive things? It may be that as things heat up your natural fears crop up where they do not need to. The commentary on line one says, "No divergent aims have yet arisen." This leads me to believe it is fears in your own mind and not based on something that has actually happened. It is after you let go of your fear that you will finally, as line five says, "succeed in meeting" Until that time you are drifting, (hexagram 56). And finally, in line five, the commentary says, "they allow (you allow) nothing to separate them." (Such as your own fears.)

Gene
 

ellemijn

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Again 13.1.5 to 56!

Hi everyone..!! thank you for your time to respond. It´s beautiful to know that you all took the time to think and feel the energy of these hexagrams I received.

My job situation still the same, I couldn´t find something better as i tried to follow the advice of looking around that you told me, but i tried not to be sad about this and carry on

After these months, the relationships had ups and downs.. although i admit we have and old issue about trust in each other that´s it´s been hurting us to the point that we are in a "dead" point right now. We still together, but thinking about live in separated houses. Why? He´s a man with two faces: one it´s beautiful, loving, caring..but the other is a face of doubts, and he fears that this relationships would worth it.(he has a little time, stressed man). He need a "non-troble woman" and i admit I am demanding person and his instability (talking about feelings) hurts me to the point that we´re fighting a lot because i can´t trust a person who has two faces.

And I asked the I ching... what´s the energy i have to use to save this relation?

And I received: 58.1 to 47. Wich I interpret to be the next: if I dont become more independent and care only about my bussines, this woul lead me to a depressing time.

And something more!, now he seeing a female friend of him wich i had troubles with. I say, it wasn´t about jealous, more about lies I discovered she told me. I dreamt so many times that they finally came to be together leaving me apart.. So I asked the i ching if this situation of trouble with my bf would lead him to follow this girl? (as I dreamt so many times)

And the answer again... 13.1.5 to 56.

How does the repeated hexagram work on this? It´s that he "uses" this connetion with the girl to "travel" (or disconnect) but it will be something temporary? Hope it´s this....

A very big thanks..again,

ellemijn
 

susannah

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Ending the wandering with a spiritual bond

Thank you for coming back with an update.

13 1,5 > 56 is obviously very important in your situation since it has come up twice, many months apart. I am responding because I've just had the same throw about an estranged relationship. We don't see each other or communicate, I think he is with someone else, but there's a level where I'm unable to let go (44?). A missed opportunity, bad timing, his lack of confidence, communication issues and lack of understanding and a closed clique are the things that bug me. I asked about his position in relation to me and was surprised to get this result. I expected a big fat nothing, 47 perhaps, not 13.5 which does seem to be about soul mate energy, imo.

So. My thoughts. 56 is about not being attached, being free and unfettered, true to self, following your own path. "Take nothing but photos and leave nothing but footprints".
I see it as a very spiritual hexagram. Individualistic. Knowing and following your own Tao which necessarily precludes another. I believe that in an "ideal" relationship, both partners will be able to stay true to themselves, even while they are joined together. (13) This requires respect and decorum from both sides. And a lack of the "possession" and "co-dependency" that I see in many dysfunctional relationships that none-the-less survive. I decided long ago that possessive and co-dependent was not my path. I've been single for a very long time! But I won't settle. And I'm probably in danger of remaining the perpetual Wanderer, never finding a true bond. But...

I'm looking for this 13.5 connection. True companionship; knowing each other warts and all and still loving, which is only achieved over time and through trials and tribulations.

I feel that 13 1,5 > 56 is speaking of an ideal, spiritual love manifested on Earth and such a connection cannot be possessive and is only won over time.

I realise that your question was about whether your man would leave you and become involved with the other girl.

There is something here about ending the wandering (56) and joining the social clan (13) with 13.5 as a special one-to-one bond.

Perhaps, in both our cases, the other has indeed ended their wandering and is destined to be with another. But I think that Yi tends to throw the question back to us.

So, what do you need to end your wandering and make that bond? Is this girl just another trial, the crying, before the laughing?
This combination could easily be saying that this time is temporary and a deeper bond is coming for you and your partner, especially if you can avoid the "clique" aspect of 13 and take the advice of 13.1 to include more people/friends in your relationship. Do you need to open up, create more freedom to "just be" within the relationship?

Hope this helps. Looking forward to seeing other posts about 13 1,5 > 56
 

anon

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Seems like a tug-of-war relationship to me. He pulls you pull and she will eventually join in the pulling. He is like a traveler who will visit for a short time. This guy will have his cake and he will eat it too.

So it depends on you. On what you want out of this. He seems to not want commient not just from you, but from anyone at the present time.
 

ellemijn

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Second Update, and 51.1 to 16

Hi everyone, again :)

Thanks to Anon and Susannah for your latest comments, you are certainly right in many ways.

It´s true that this relation needed more "social meetings", so I did my best this summer to organize events, join together with my family and friends to cheer us up. It helped a lot, we found ourselves having fun again... But wasn´t enough. Shortly, his parents are pushing against our relation and against all initiatives my bf takes. They don't like me, they don't like anybody, strange ugly people obsessed with money and material things. The did some verbal harm to us, so my bf took the decision to stop the communication with them. But I am very sad to say that he is more than upset with what happened. Like paralyzed.

I am feeling insecure again, I fell I am carrying the can about his familiar, laboral and emotional situation, only because I am the one who stands in front of him, the only one who cares about him. This is ironic, yes.

Definitely, this is a tug of war as Anon said. No matter how good we feel, there´s always something in our way. We used to work against problems. Now, he has run out of energy and as he told me lately... doubting if this relation can go further.

I miss many pieces of this puzzle. Or I maybe met someone with two faces. Love, then reject..love..the reject.


Somebody told me that I have to be patient, until he resolves his internal problems. But, I sorry to say, this is too much for me.

I did one last cast to the I ching..

Where are we leading our relationship if we keep on trying?

51.1 to 16

From my humble point of view, I think this result show perfectly what happened. There was an conflict, provoked by external people. It is true it did harm to us, but in the other hand, It helped my BF to take the decision to stop counting on people who has selfish interest on him and want to manipulate him. I tried to be a support to him, give space in our relationship (as he is a very introvert person) so he can figure out by himself who to manage with all what happened.

Maybe the shock released something, it caused pain at he beginning, but allowed some new potential in our relationship to overcome together a difficult issue. It also can mean, that a break up can open us to another new reality.

I may be wrong, would love to read your thoughts.

Thank you all, again, for your precious time..

Ellemijn
 

ellemijn

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Oh I´m sorry...what does that expression mean? haha don´t get it, i´m natural from spain...

:)
 
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