Gaining clarity on a past relationship-- asking the i ching

[tabitha]

Hello-

I had a friendship with romantic overtones which went on for about a year. Even though in our interactions, I let him know that friendship would most likely be best, in private, I idealized him. He is beautiful, intelligent, and strong, but also somewhat given to dishonesty, addiction and womanizing. Recently we saw one another- that same chemistry was there-- I want to be with someone who brings out the best in me- and I felt alot of that there. We kissed but the interaction mostly was satisfying in terms of frienship on my part-- i just love talking to him, and sense that I should be wary of the traps he has fallen into.Recently after not hearing back from him, I let him know that I understood if he was out of touch given his situation (recovering from an addiction, unhealthy relationships with women,) and perhaps our interaction, and that I hoped he was well--It hurts thoughm I am trying hard to not take things personally- I didnt handle things perfectly, but I would like to grow - I asked how can I move forward from this and be better?
I received 15-8 -- 8 has come up alot in my questions regarding this frienship-Can anyone let me know what they see here? 8 in particular confuses me. Thanks for reading this kind of long post, and any advice.

 

[dobro p]

There's this book called Catch 22, and in it a person who didn't see things the way they really were was described as having 'flies in their eyes'.

Okay, first off, I think you've got flies in your eyes over this guy. You say you idealize him, but you talk about his addiction and his womanizing, which indicates he definitely isn't somebody to idealize in either the 'relationships with women' department or the 'self-management department', which are two of the most important departments for men. So I'll read your 15.3.5>8 in the context of that.

It seems to me the Yi is saying something like this: "You can move forward from this and be better by reducing/levelling/humbling the idealization of this guy, and by focussing all your energies on this and making it your aim. It's going to take work, but you can really throw yourself into it with a clear conscience - you owe him nothing."

 

[galah]

Hex 15

Make way for others in your life. Being humble by keeping what is important in focus.

15.3

You are the prize here and don't need to advertise. Just be open to opportunities.

15.5 Work together to get what you need.

8 Join a new group. Find what you belong with.

It seems that you should pursue other options besides this one friend. Join other groups.

Maybe you are making this guy out to be far better than he really is. His actions show that by being a womanizer and ignoring you.

 

[willowfox]

I asked how can I move forward from this and be better?
I received 15.3,5 -- 8

You need determination and self control, you need patience and calmness to end this addiction, going out and mixing with others will certainly help your cause.

 

[tabitha]

ouch-- this is helpful--thanks