Gosh maybe 3 boyfriends haha 57>12

[oceangirl]

Some funny things have been happening re my (non-existent) love life

About a month ago I met a man who I thought we had a lot of potential for a relationship, first guy I've really been interested in for a loooong time. He dropped me quickly, I was hurt but we ended up becoming friends, after a couple of weeks I no longer had any romantic feeling for him as I began to see the truth of what he's like and not just the romance that had first appeared and I'm happy to be friends only with him. We were chatting every couple of days because we've a fun energy between us but now he won't even return my texts or calls.

Last night I went out for a few drinks with a guy I had a crush on over 25 years ago - we had a fun time and stayed til closing time although that's not late haha in the small town where I live, he gave no indication he was interested or not interested but when we parted ways it was obvious he's not in any hurry to see me again..... bummer but no big deal

What do I need to know about my love life

57.2.3.4>12

Hexagram 57 perhaps this is talking about the way I'm shaping my innerself through these encounters with the men.
Line 2 - I have been working through some of my personal issues through art therapy and prime tuning with a' Diviner'
Line 3 - Not sure about line 3 - there is no urgency and I feel no shame. I am opening up and doing little things for joy.
Line 4 - What is the field? what is the game? is it there are 3 men who I may get to choose from.....oh now wouldn't that be fun.

 

[palousehills]

Hi Oceangirl,

I like your post. Good writing ☺ My favorite part is, “there is no urgency, and I feel no shame. I am doing little things for joy.”

Line 57.3 is the middle line in the interior trigram The Joyous.
_ _
___
___

Joy comes from having a firm center, and those little things help to keep it so. Joy comes from doing what you need to do. I think “satisfaction” should be included in the meaning, that is, being content with yourself knowing that you support, and do not go against, your true self.

Line 2 is “not correct,” i.e. it is a strong line in a weak place. Possible interpretation: there is a tug-of-war between expressing your desires and a social position predicated on feminine passivity (57.3=top line of the trigram The Gentle). Does this jive with you?

The transformed hexagram is 12, Stagnation. My sense is that following this passive role forces you to go through a period of stagnation, or jadedness, in your attitude toward men/relationships. But the experience is also illuminating – line 57.4 is the central line of the interior trigram, Li, The Bright.

I can imagine many layers to line 4’s meaning, but I agree that you probably will (or do) have three (or more) men to choose from. Knowing what you want, and flowing with events in that knowledge, will be the key.

More fundamentally, Gentle Penetration is about learning to listen to the voice of spirit, the sage, your higher self, whatever you want to call it. It sounds like you are working to tune your inner ear, to trust your inner truth. Just remember that everything worthwhile develops gradually – Developing Gradually is the interior hexagram of Hexagram 12.

 

[oceangirl]

Thankyou palousehills. Hmmm in terms of the passive feminine position - I'm not really sure if that fits in with the situation. I'm pretty passive, quiet and unassuming as a person although when I've got something to say I will say it. I tend to use few words to say what needs to be said but again I'm not sure whether this comes from the social position of being a female.

Looking further at Line 2 - I'm now tending to think I also penetrate the truth of these men I meet fairly quickly which leads me to think that's why they turn tail and run....particularly the one I thought was a potential relationship - I know now how much he was trying to hide from me about his life.
Line 3 - I wonder if that means too that I keep coming up against the same situations re men I meet....
but there is no shame for me in this happening as I continue to seek for a satisfactory relationship rather than BTN (better than nothing) man

 

[Tohpol]

What do I need to know about my love life?

57.2.3.4>12

Quite an auspicious hexagram I've found, although often initially a bit frustrating. It describes how we have to adapt and submit to circumstances in ways that facilitate change. I see this as the quality of the water within an underground aquifer or spring that gradually penetrates the land and nourishes everything within its vicinity. That takes time and is dependent on cycles and seasons. Very much connected to 48 and 33 in my experience.

Line 2: Everything is in a state of flux regarding love life; nothing's settled yet and no one can know exactly how it'll turn out. (Keep asking the Yi which will act as a good barometer!) However....there is "no blame" and despite a difficult start things will eventually find their equilibrium and therefore attract the right guy.

Line 3: Looks like you're trying too hard - even subconsciously - even if it doesn't feel like it. "I keep coming up against the same situations re men I meet...." Maybe that suggests there's something in you that could be "blocked" (12) and which keeps attracting the wrong sort of guys, or men that don't resonate to your essence because that's momentarily masked? But with line 2, it'll probably slowly ease.

 

[oceangirl]

Thanks Tohpol...maybe you're interpretation's right re something in me that's blocked because I do feel that when I meet them although I'm always hoping one of them will hang around long enough to get to know me.....they never seem THAT interested.

 

[Trojina]

Thanks Tohpol...maybe you're interpretation's right re something in me that's blocked because I do feel that when I meet them although I'm always hoping one of them will hang around long enough to get to know me.....they never seem THAT interested.

Personally I don't think it is too helpful to go around with the idea something in you is blocked. You aren't a drain or a waste pipe. Also I just think it's a negative non specific idea to carry around. My feeling is you may just need a more pragmatic take on this

What do I need to know about my love life

57.2.3.4>12

First a love life at 26 isn't the same as a love life at 56. I'm presuming the guys you have been interested in are around your age ? The motivation and wish to be in a relationship just doesn't consist of what it did in their 20s, or in yours . I mean from my own perspective and I think we are about the same age, in the mid to late 50s, when people have already tasted being in relationships for many years and then may have experienced being single for many years, well they may just not want to jump headlong back into the kinds of relationships they had earlier. Once a person gets used to being free, not having to answer to anyone, doing their own thing well why would they want to go from that to sharing every facet of their lives as they may have done in their 20s. And of course biologically the necessity to procreate isn't there, the sex drive less all consuming and insistent...and they may just be perfectly okay as they are in their lives and not want to have to adapt it once more to the needs and wishes of a partner. My point is I think you should take it all less personally. I also think that may signify the 12 in the background. You are currently in a situation where there's really not an abundance of opportunity for a love life as you would envisage it.

57.2.3.4>12 I see this as advice to ease off since line 3 is probing and probing and wants certainty and confirmation. Line 2 as you said might indicate you looking for all the areas that might be hidden...and line 4 looks like if you continue with a steady intent to connect with someone, steady but not insistent, not trying to know everything about them all at once, letting it be a bit looser, I guess like with the guy you are now friends with, something really nourishing can happen.

So I think it's quite a promising cast but I do think the 'easing off' attitude is relevant to the 50 something's love life. I mean this guy you got to know who withdrew via text and is now friends probably does fit into the category of how I described in the first paragraph. If he's been alone for a while and had a full on relationship through his 20s, 30s, 40s he may not want to jump full on back into the kind of boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife relationship he did when he was 30. Also consider what you want. Do you really want to go back to the kind of relationship you had with your husband when you were 30 ?

So I'd be inclined to see this less as to do with any fault of yours and much more to do with the social reality of aiming for a brand new love life in your mid 50s. (hex 12 ?) The kinds of responses you will meet are different because the men you meet will be in totally different stage of their lives than 20 years ago, and so are you. But 57.4 certainly looks good for something different, something gentler. It may not look exactly how you'd expect but it's a different kind of lovelife.

 

[oceangirl]

Thanks Trojina - this is true re the different relationship expectations and desires at the age we are now.

I'm actually starting to wonder whether this reading is describing the steps that have been happening re my relationship with my potential relationship/now friend guy.
He did eventually get back to me after not responding to my texts for a few days and now we seem to be have this very compatible easy dynamic between us - as you describe57.4 certainly looks good for something different, something gentler. It may not look exactly how you'd expect but it's a different kind of lovelife.[/B]
Time will tell but yes if it's not him I've certainly learnt from the experience.

 

[beatpoet]

Boyfriends and boyfriends and boyfriends oh my!

You have a wonderful sense of humor!

I found your question and answer very interesting. I have a wee bit different take. Just in case it is of use!

What do I need to know about my love life


I think line 2 refers to your using the healing approach to uncover issues etc. When you have only 2 as the changing line it becomes 53! How fascinating! And good fortune to boot says line 2.

Line 3 TO ME warns about sort of taking something too far--like overthinking . Humiliation! Perhaps like when we get afraid to get out there and actually ACT or just BE.

Line 4 is a great one to me because I remember this one part of the commentary in Wilhelm which says if all three purposes is served, the hunt is considered successful. I think this is about success in finding someone that meets your requirements. But it takes moving through line 2 and 3!

The context is you being in 12 and through 57 or gentle penetration leads to a successful hunt!

Like I said, this is purely an offering. I am a lurker and learner!

beatpoet.

 

[Trojina]

beatpoet you posted the same post 3 times...lol which is apt for this thread

 

[beatpoet]

Multiple Posts

Trojina,

This one is for you!



I think it has something to do with my internet connection. God knows!

beatpoet.

 

[oceangirl]

Thank you beatpoet your take on it makes a lot of sense to me.
The Update: Potential guy and I have spent some time together and been totally honest about what we feel (or not)....so it's a potential relationship in progress. We're just spending time together. I said it takes time to get to know each other it doesn't have to be one thing or another it just is what it is unless and until. I think this fits this reading very well.

 

[beatpoet]

Oceangirl!

Fingers crossed! Sounds like a 2,3,4 approach!

beatpoet.

 

[oceangirl]

Well I think Mr Potential and I went through the cycle of this reading and things did go too far and then blah!! I doubt if he's going to try and work it out so I've asked the same question as this reading but nigh a month later

 

[oceangirl]

Mind you haven't seen sign of a potential 3rd bf YET....hahaha