Gossip - 37.3.6 -> 3, and 8

[mulberry]

Hi all,

I was at a party last night and did something that I feel bad about-- I was talking to a friend and ended up gossiping about someone who was also at the party. I didn't share anything that was secret or vicious. I said he was a flirt (he's very handsome) and she should be aware of that (she's single and on the lookout). But I immediately felt bad about it because the flirtatiousness is just a vague feeling I've gotten from observing him and interacting with him; I have no proof he's a cheater or anything along those lines. For context-- he's not single, so saying that was an insult in some ways. At any rate, it was unwarranted.

Problem: later on he made eye contact with me and looked confused or possibly upset (or possibly just inebriated...) The party was EXTREMELY loud (it was at a bar) and, rationally speaking, I don't know how he (or anyone else) could have overheard me. The friend I'd mentioned it to was still with me at that point, and hadn't spoken to anyone else, so I don't know how he would have found out I'd said that about him.

Nevertheless, I immediately began to worry that he'd heard me and felt a lot of regret and guilt. When I woke up this morning I still felt that way. So I decided to consult the I Ching.

I broke one of my cardinal rules (oh well) and asked a yes/no question.

Did he overhear me? 37.3.6 -> 3

Oh boy! The 3rd line is the line about women and children dallying and laughing leading to humiliation... I immediately thought of gossip... At the same time though, the line talks about too much harshness being bad as well-- so perhaps I'm being too hard on myself?

And the top line is generally positive, from what I understand, though it's not a line I've received much so I'm not sure. It seems to be saying that I need to take responsibility and cultivate my personality to be better.

It all changes into 3, which is not a hexagram that makes me jump for joy, but not one I dread either.

I'm not sure if it leans "yes" or "no" overall. Thoughts, anyone?

I then asked, How can I learn to stop gossiping? And received 8 unchanging, which makes a lot of sense in an intuitive way to me though I have difficulty verbalizing it. Does anyone have thoughts about the part at the end "Whoever comes too late meets with misfortune"? Is this implying I better learn to stop gossiping or else?

If anyone has insight into this set of readings, or suggestions on a better format for a question about it, I'd be really grateful.

 

[mulberry]

As a follow-up, I asked what would come of my having said what I did about the person in question, and received 53.1.2.4 -> 1, which makes me think this will be more of a learning experience for me (to keep my mouth shut maybe), but there won't be severe consequences beyond that. But...I might be biased to view this reading more favorably?

 

[Trojina]

I think you should stop worrying. At parties people chat about each other. That's life. 37.6 suggests to me he has the maturity probably not to mind much....besides he might be flattered people are speaking of him.

You didn't say anything terrible....this is just small stuff by the looks of the lines in 53



Anyway if we all got into trouble about what we said at parties none of us would leave the house. I mean since you felt uncomfortable with what you said maybe it's a private learning curve for you but I really don't think you should worry too much any more.

I think the worst that can happen is a little awkwardness (53.4) when you see him again. But saying he's a flirt is hardly the worst thing to say about anyone.

 

[mulberry]

Thanks, Trojina. You put my mind more at ease.