Half... and half!

[amalia]

Good afternoon to everybody. I haven't been here for a while... Well, a "while" of two years. So this post is partly about what happened in between, and partly about the last, favourable, disconcerting response I had from the oracle. The important things occurred to me in the last two years are: 1) my first essay is about to be published (I already have the page proofs and I am terrified about checking them!); 2) I partially solved the complex inheritance problem I had with my aunt (that means I solved the most relevant issue in it, but not the worst - but the worst, being not that relevant, will wait a while); 3) quite incredibly, about two weeks ago, a publisher, who did not call me for one year and a half, phoned me to say he decided to release my novel in the spring/summer of 2010, and to present it in most important bookfair in my country (...after such interesting statement, he disappeared. But I am not worried. Either he is crazy, or he hates to use the phone so much, he must wait some weeks to call again - which unfortunately does NOT exclude the first hypothesis. Anyhow, I am quite sure I am going to hear from him in about two or three months..)
As you see, these are all good news. Astonishing good news. The horrible new is, my work situation at the University is still uncertain and there are no hint than it can get more definitive in a few time. The worst (there is always a worst in the horrible!) aspect of it is, it seems that next year there will be some relevant change in the present legislation,that will make even more difficult, or even that will factually prevent me from accessing the teaching staff.
Now it happens that I consulted the Oracle both before and after the news about the changing of legislation. The two answers are:
1) (before the news) 47 changing to 58
2) (after the news) 58 changing to 61
This sounds to me I have nothing to worry about. Particulary, 61 is a hex I often receive when I have no hopes about something, while it tells me that I am wrong, that everything will go the right way. But this time I am particulary pessimistic. So, if you see some dark side in the answer I got, just express yourself: you will only confirm my fears. Ps. I remember a Bruce who told me in the past I would have published in the end... I just want to say: THANKS!

 

[rosada]

You say you "consulted" the I Ching, but what exactly was the question?

rosada

 

[amalia]

Ooooops!

...Yes: while telling my long long long story, I merely forgot the MOST RELEVANT DETAIL (a kind of attitude which I should start to consider it could maybe account for other aspects of my life...). But, I must admit, I do not have such a "definite approach" to the oracle, to express a clear question. I think to something more generic, i.e. "how will it end with this issue?", "what will be my destiny regarding the topic such-and-such", and so on. So, to answer to the point, I must have thought something like: "how will things go about the University?", or similar. I am sorry: you must consider me very inaccurate. My excuses.

 

[amalia]

Things are getting complicated!

There might be probably a way to quote a preceding thread... Unfortunately I do not know it, so I have to go on with this old one, in order to tell you the news - Sorry! A couple of days ago someone at work (a someone who is both a powerful person and, so to say, my best enemy...) came in our office to talk with someone else and he "casually" said there will be a statal competition for a permanent contract in a university near mine... Such news left me totally upset. Why, I wondered, my best enemy found it advisable to say so? In these cases, my experience taught me, people stay silent, in order to avoid competitors (my best enemy have surely someone that he supports to send to the competition). So in these two days I went on, trying to recover from a cold, being always tired, and most of all breeding bad thoughts (which I am very good at!). And I asked the Oracle: Why did my b.e. talk about the competition?
The answer was: 55 - 34.
I find such answer difficult to understand. It seems to tell me that I am right in thinking there is some plot going around, and that I have to call myself out from it. But does it mean that b. e. talked only to warn me "stay out of the whole thing!" ? I also find it difficult to point out some other question to ask to the Oracle that could help me more in order to focus the situation. I am too much involved, I see! Now, if there is any suggestions... Ps. I must add, to complete the description: in the same day another person (who works in another university, quite far from mine) asked me if I could be willing to accept a one year-contract in 2011 as his aide. I answered yes - such proposal was clearly quite vague, and I decided it would have been very stupid from me to refuse it immediately... Oh: person 1 and person 2 do know each other, but it is quite improbable their decisions/proposals/whatsoever depend one from the other... Or I hope so! Sorry again: I see this is all very confusing!

 

[rosada]

Do I understand correctly that you don't trust this person and so what one ordinarily would have been seen as an appropriate announcement causes you to feel uneasy and wonder if there is some hidden agenda?
Wilhelm says of 55.2 "The essential thing is to hold to the inner power of truth, which in the end is so strong that it exerts an invisible influence on the ruler, so all goes well." This reads to me that either there was no ulterior motive, or that you should not react even if there were. Are you interested in applying for this position? This line seems then to suggest you would be a good candidate even without your B.E.'s support.

rosada

 

[amalia]

THANKS. This is so useful! It is not only that I do not trust b.e.: other people told me, some years ago, that he said he did not have any professional esteem nor respect for me. I beware him, and I thought he would have put any obstacle he could to everything I could do. Therefore his announcement left me speechless - note that it was not a direct announcement, but the information was casually given in a conversation to someone else who was with me in my room: so I couldn't simply think he had just changed his attitude toward me. Anyhow, I did not think as appropriate in such a confusing circumstance to react in any way - I stayed silent and so I did the right thing, it seems. YES if I can I will definitely apply for that position. I have to talk to a couple of persons. Things will be sorted out, I think, in about three or four months. I will tell you how the situation develops. ROSADA THANKS!

 

[Trojina]

And I asked the Oracle: Why did my b.e. talk about the competition?
The answer was: 55 - 34.
I find such answer difficult to understand. It seems to tell me that I am right in thinking there is some plot going around, and that I have to call myself out from it. But does it mean that b. e. talked only to warn me "stay out of the whole thing!" ? I also find it difficult to point out some other question to ask to the Oracle that could help me more in order to focus the situation. I am too much involved, I see! Now, if there is any suggestions... ... Or I hope so! Sorry again: I see this is all very confusing!

. Anyhow, I did not think as appropriate in such a confusing circumstance to react in any way - I stayed silent and so I did the right thing, it seems. !

Just wanted to say aren't you bound to feel confused asking the question from his point of view so to speak. Ultimately you need the Yi to give you a guide to your best action so the simplest way would be to ask 'something like "what is my best reaction to b.e's action' rather than 'why did he do this'. Saying this as your second quote confirms ultimately you wanted a guide to your action rather than knowing his motivation.

Not meaning to be pedantic..but you said 'any suggestions'.

I'm often puzzled why when people want to know how best way to react/ respond or meet another they ask about the others inner thoughts rather than what they themselves need do about it. Seems like being one step removed from the core of the issue to do it that way. The guide to the best response invariably gives a clue to the persons motivation anyway...(ie if the Yi cautions you not to trust you know that person has untrustworthy motivations..to you at least)

People continue to do that (ask from anothers perspective) whatever anyone says, but you seem fairly knowlegable about the Yi so thought I'd point it out..maybe you were just too involved in the issue to see that...but sorry if this comment seems patronising.

Re 55.2 like Rosada i doubt you can really see what is going on so its better to stick to your own truth..actually I think her interpretation was spot on here...

 

[amalia]

it's right...

No, Trojan, you're not patronizing at all: simply, I was not clear enough (details are descouraging, sometimes...!). I was not worried about how to react to what b.e. said because the context was such that I had no doubt I hadn't to do anything at that moment, nor in the immediately following days (that is the reason why I mentioned my reaction secondly, only in the answer to Rosada - to me it was not important, but I wanted to reassure her that I did nothing wrong!). But the point is (as you perhaps have implied, without underlining it), reactions are not only in what you (concretely) do, but also in what you feel: which was, in this case, quite more relevant, but I found it difficult to admit it. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so scared and terrified as I was from what b.e. had in mind; but it's almost impossible to rule my feelings, sometimes (I am an anxious person, and the last 8-9 years have been very difficult for me). To follow your suggestion, and translate it in the I Ching language, I should not have asked "how do I have to act now?", but, "how do I have to feel about this?"; but, as I cannot manage my emotions, any answer would have been unuseful... So, I am deeply thankful to Rosada because she told me what I desperately needed to hear from an independent observer: "This is unrelevant. Go on your way." This simply made me relax - no problem, Trojan, if you cannot understand me: most of the people cannot...!
Anyhow, as for asking the Oracle what to do, I did something more specific, asking what would have happened if I had talked to my referent about the whole issue; unfortunately I did not exactly remember the answer, but I know it sounded less puzzling and quite more comforting than 55-34, so I decided to talk to him in the following days (there's no need to hurry). Anyhow, I will ask a more general question and see what is coming out...

 

[Trojina]

But the point is (as you perhaps have implied, without underlining it), reactions are not only in what you (concretely) do, but also in what you feel: which was, in this case, quite more relevant, but I found it difficult to admit it. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so scared and terrified as I was from what b.e. had in mind; but it's almost impossible to rule my feelings, sometimes (I am an anxious person, and the last 8-9 years have been very difficult for me). To follow your suggestion, and translate it in the I Ching language, I should not have asked "how do I have to act now?", but, "how do I have to feel about this?"; but, as I cannot manage my emotions, any answer would have been unuseful... So, I am deeply thankful to Rosada because she told me what I desperately needed to hear from an independent observer: "This is unrelevant. Go on your way." This simply made me relax - no problem, Trojan, if you cannot understand me: most of the people cannot...!
Anyhow, as for asking the Oracle what to do, I did something more specific, asking what would have happened if I had talked to my referent about the whole issue; unfortunately I did not exactly remember the answer, but I know it sounded less puzzling and quite more comforting than 55-34, so I decided to talk to him in the following days (there's no need to hurry). Anyhow, I will ask a more general question and see what is coming out...

Yes, I see what you mean., and you're right i didn't mean ask exactly what to do as in what action to take but what to do with your self, how to manage your feelings, how to take his coments. What one believes about a situation surely affects ones feelings about it so i can see, in a sense, you were asking what to believe about his comments to which Rosada gave you a clear answer. Actually asking what to believe so as to know what to feel .