Healing communication / 34.6 to 14

[Dasso17]

Some months ago I ended a very importante relationship. After the end we never talked well or really clarified why things changed so much and I always felt there was something unfinished there. I thought that the opportunity to have a good conversation would arise before the end of the year but the year ends and we did not communicate again. I would like to close the year recovering even his friendship because it was something we had before being a couple, even thanking him for everything he gave me and healing resentments that arose in me. I then asked the I Ching wfhat would happen if I communicated with him and Yi's answer was a 34.6 to 14.
Can someone help me interpret this please?

 

[herrmyte]

Im not particularly skilled at interpreting the I-Ching and I have little experience but I did a quick search on 34.6 and the answer seemed particularly clear to me. I think it's saying hold back at least for now. I read one before this but heres a link to a page from Google Books:

I Ching for a New Age

For over 3,000 years, the Chinese have placed great value on the I Ching, turning to it for guidance and insight regarding past, present, and future events. For over a decade, researcher Robert Benson worked towards making the English text of this book easier to understand and appreciate. The...

books.google.com

All the best

 

[Dasso17]

Thank you so much for your answer Hermyte. I still don t understand the meaning of 14.... Could someone else guve me their interpretation please?

 

[diamanda]

what would happen if I communicated with him, 34.6 > 14
You would get stuck, the communication would get you nowhere (34.6), to a great degree (14). There must have been something really really wrong with that relationship, if at the end of it you two didn't even have the basic politeness to both say what went wrong. So, if you couldn't discuss what went wrong back then, and with this stuck cast, I doubt you'll get any closure with this person.

 

[Dasso17]

Thank you for your help

 

[Freedda]

Dasso, here's my take on this reading - I hope it's of use to you.

Here you are starting with Hex. 34, which one author calls 'weilding a great strenght'. It is made up of the two, 3-line figures, or trigrams - thunder above and heaven below.

Here you are told that it is 'worthwhile to persist', and the way you're doing that is through strenght and focus. But here you might be inclined - despite your best intentions - to act suddenly, on impulse, or maybe even to be confrontational?

The last line, 34.6 describes this as someone acting like a billy goat ramming into a hedge where he then gets stuck, neither able to move forward or back! (In my mind I give this billygoat a Scottish accent as he rams into a hedgerow - after the stereotype of the Scots being stubborn!)

One thing to remember however, is this is not necessarily describing a fixed or pre-determined way of being on your part, but perhaps more a tendency - or advice: 'look, if this seems to be how you are approaching this - and if it's not working - then maybe look for another way.'

In fact, line 34.6 ends by offering a bit of good news, where it says that 'problems give rise to opportuities.' The is backed up by the corresponding line in the resulting hexagam, 14.6, which ends with 'nothing cannot be turned to advantage.' So, despite what might be an initial approach or attitude that's too forceful or confrontive, there is still the possibility of a good outcome here!

Hex. 14 also denotes great strenght and focus, but here you have a flame, a light, the the sun above. This suggest to me that you want to focus your energies and actions on making a connection with this other person - which might look or feel a bit different than just having a positive outcome?

I think the reading also suggests that you look for, or focus on, a mutually beneficial outcome, and not one that is perhaps more one-sided? There is a balance here - you want a satisfying outcome for both of you - not necessarily a 'compromise' that might only please one of you, or neither of you.

I don't think the Yi is being predictive or pre-judging at all - the outcome still lies with you and the other person. The outcome could be that you continue as friends, ... or any number of other ways of being. And it could be that the best, most mutually beneficial outcome is that you both go your separate ways. But again, that's not a given, just a possibility, but one that might still give you some closure or finality to the relationship.

Best, D.

 

[Dasso17]

Dear Freedda, thank you so much for your answer. I thought no one else will reply so I didn't come back. So sorry for my delay answer
I appreciate a lot your time and knowledge

 

[lucuma]

Hi. What happened finally?