help making a decision 21.3.6

[alev]

Good morning
I need a little help with a reading today. I got an unexpected invite to a fun event for someone I care about, only problem...my ex will be there, possibly with his new girlfriend and she does NOT like me one bit, But i am getting the feeling that he wants me to go and I want to go too but definately do not want to put myself in a situation where I will suffer. I asked "Should I go to the event?" and got 21.3.6
21.3 I think this says I will be humiliated but there is no blame in this, which would make sense as he was the one who hurt me, not the other way around
21.6 I have read several translation for this, either I will be punished if I go or I am not listening to the warnings? Is this a direct NO as answer to my question?

to provide more insight I asked what should I expect to happen if i go and got 20.4.5.6 changing to 16
i feel like 20.4 is saying all will go well but 20.5 and 20.6 don't exactly seem to fit in with the question
I have a few days to make a decision so I want make sure I'm thinking clearly and right now I need a little help with that!

 

[dobro p]

I asked "Should I go to the event?" and got 21.3.6

21's about working your way one bite at a time through obstacles and resistances. The resistance in question sounds like your disinclination to experience unpleasantness at the event you mentioned. My take on what you drew is that the *subjective* aspect of this issue is at least as important as the event itself. I mean, if you go there and it's no fun, you'll get over it, right? But whether you go to the event or not, that resistance and disinclinationn to go through unpleasantness will still be located where it's living now - inside you.

Take a look at it. Think it through. What's that resistance about, and how reasonable is it really? I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Nothing too bad, right? What's the best that can happen? Well, you might shed some light on knee-jerk reactions that inhibit ordinary behaviors that you should be able to handle.

 

[alev]

Thank you Dobro,
I do think it's significant that i got both hex 21 and hex 20 in regards to these questions so I understand what you are saying. And i definately know that running from or avoiding uncomfortable situations is no way to deal with something so you are right on the money there. However, the worst case scenerio would be very ugly indeed as what makes me not want to go is the girlfriend who is crazy and will more than likely confront me in a very aggressive way. I don't even know for a fact that he is bringing her though and he tells her everything so I cannot even ask because I know this would just add fuel to the fire. I wouldn't have a problem at all if I knew he would be attending alone. This shouldn't be a big decision I know, but I don't want my presenceto create drama and ruin everyones good time...

 

[dobro p]

Well, okay if the Yi's talking to the event itself, then the advice is still the same - bite through it, chew through it. Your presence won't create drama on its own. If you don't contribute to drama, then you've got nothing to worry about.

Something interesting about this though - the relating hex for 21.3.6 is 55. 55 is a peak, a high point, the sun at noon. That's either the event, or you. If it's you, then you belong there.

 

[willowfox]

"Should I go to the event?" and got 21.3.6 > 55

Line 21.3 suggests a confrontation with this woman as it says that she really hates you, so you will be placed in an embarrassing position at the event but the others will see her as the instigator.

Line 21.6 If it was me, then I would not go but it is up to you, I feel there will be a lot of unpleasantness when the two of you are in the same house.

 

[Trojina]

Good morning
I need a little help with a reading today. I got an unexpected invite to a fun event for someone I care about, only problem...my ex will be there, possibly with his new girlfriend and she does NOT like me one bit, But i am getting the feeling that he wants me to go and I want to go too but definately do not want to put myself in a situation where I will suffer. I asked "Should I go to the event?" and got 21.3.6
21.3 I think this says I will be humiliated but there is no blame in this, which would make sense as he was the one who hurt me, not the other way around
21.6 I have read several translation for this, either I will be punished if I go or I am not listening to the warnings? Is this a direct NO as answer to my question?

to provide more insight I asked what should I expect to happen if i go and got 20.4.5.6 changing to 16
i feel like 20.4 is saying all will go well but 20.5 and 20.6 don't exactly seem to fit in with the question
I have a few days to make a decision so I want make sure I'm thinking clearly and right now I need a little help with that!

Alarm bells sound there. Why does he want you to go when he knows it will upset his current girlfriend ? Is he just being manipulative, liking to women in conflict over him, wanting to force confrontation. You aren't hearing something and might need to question your own real motives in going. Alarm bells also sound at the new girlfriend being 'crazy'. Is she really crazy or is she unhappy because her boyfriend is still playing silly games with you ? Something doesn't ring true to me here, perhaps there is dishonesty around motives from both him and you with all the 'crazyness' projected onto her.

I think the answer may actually refer to biting through the confusing profusion (55) of signals around this..I don't think things are as they seem. I don't think this is just about you wanting to a go a party where your ex happens to be. I think you're trying to enact something else and maybe can't see that (21.6) No woman is going to be thrilled when an ex turns up especially if the man is still playing silly games with her..she might manage to be civil, friendly even, but i don't agree with Dobro that theres no drama here unless you make it..feelings are there anyway we can't always control them..even under a veneer of social tolerance

I think the 20.5.6 answer says you need to look at this dispassionately both from your perspective and her perspective then make your own choice. Look and thing then make your choice, the Yi isn't deciding tis for you.

 

[alev]

sorry for the late response here, I was away from my computer all weekend.
Thank you for all the advice, Willowfox I think you are right on with the lines, that was how I read them as well, I think it was definately cautioning me about attending. And I agree with your interpretation Trojan of 20.5.6 that makes sense to me when you put it like that. I don't think my ex is playing games though, although maybe (who knows?) but I think he really wanted me to go because the party is kind of a reunion of all our old friends getting back together for a night. The girlfriend just doesnt want him to have any contact with me at all.
But...despite the warning signs of 21.6...I have decided to go. I really appreciate everyone's input and good advice on this but I am going to go with what Dobro mentioned here, I cannot control her reaction to me but I can control my own behavior and be civil and "bite through" a difficult situation.

 

[alev]

well here goes nothing...

I'm off to my party now. I did one last check with the I ching and asked one more time, should I go to the party tonight and got 40.2.5 changing to 45.
I'm nervous but all looks well and this reading is giving me confidence, wish me luck

 

[willowfox]

Line 40.2,5 suggests that the obstacle at this party will be her, so as you have chosen to go then you must act as honest and honourable as you can but do your utmost to ignore her because Hex 45 suggests that yes it is great to go to the party but to also be aware in such gathering conflict can easily arise, perhaps through her being drunk and then letting her mouth run wild. Becareful, if she attacks, walk away.

 

[alev]

Thank you Willowfow, I did go and luckily all went well and just like you said followed the advice of being honorable in hex 40. I just went and kept close to my friends and left early in the night before people starting getting drunk.