help plzzzzz...embarrassing flaws 3.4.5>51

[nettyc1]

Not sure what the flaw is but would greatly appreciate some help if possible..... I have been getting many 18 corruption 46.6 & 56.2.4 both leading to 18..... have been on a self improvement kick since it has been all work and no play with work & post graduate program. Although, not very big on short term fun or instant gratification.

1st question: 56.2.4-how do i find my joy again? led to
2nd question: 46.6-what is missing in the current situation and whether it is just your attitude that requires adjustment?"
"what are the most embarrassing flaws?" and Yi's answer, 3.4.5 to 51.
shocking sprouting/ sprouting shock
Line 4
'Driving a full team of horses, seeking marital alliance.
Going on, good fortune – nothing that does not bear fruit.'

Line 5
'Sprouting's juice.
Small constancy, good fortune – great constancy, pitfall.'

3 determined & making errors at the beginning
3.4>17 uncertainty is resolved while seeking union
17.5> wanting to be harmonious and needing a form ( not sure what needing a form refers to)
51 shock, excite terrified new things.
Yes, I am determined with the things that I do & yes resolve uncertainty in relations by leaving if they are not harmonious after a period of time. Is the shock that I leave or that Im seeking a harmonious partner that reflects my most embarrassing flaw.
I can not say that I'm impatient with seeking a partner just don't care to be lead to places that lead nowhere. I not very big on wasting my time when there is much to be done with work & schooling to ensure that my future is comfortable being single. It's not that life lacks joy, sometime it's just mundane! I have a good career, a close family & friends, honestly very blessed & grateful, looking forward to my big 50th B.day trip this summer to South Africa with a girlfriend. I just don't understand what the corruption or flaw is about myself that gives me the sprouting shock or shock sprouting. How do I go about fixing this flaw in me when I don't understand the flaw? Would my flaw be that I am concerned about my own future? or Is it that Im seeking union when my life is already full? My accomplishment are from my own determination, a requirement for the career choice as well as insurance for a hopefully comfortable tomorrow not overly confident perhaps a bit rigid. Overall life is normal with the occasional ups and downs. Completely Lost or should I say flawed as I believe we all are in some way, shape, or form!!!! It isn't perfect but it is a fulfilled real life with goals and aspiration. Thank you for listening to my search for my most embarrassing flaw or corruption may be. Have a blessed week.

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi nettyc1,

Just sight reading your tosses, I'd say that the 18s suggest possible workaholism, perhaps a pattern in your family? Have you felt driven to go the extra mile in order to rise in your career?

Not that this is a flaw ~ the independent and comfortable lifestyle that it has won you is very admirable ~ brava!

My feeling is the focus of your readings has to do with your 50th birthday, and the unspoken question ~ "Will I know intimacy, again, or am I going to be alone for the rest of my life?"

If that's the deeper question, then Yi's answer of 3.4.5 to 51 seems pretty clear: If you sincerely seek joy through intimacy, then ~ surprise, surprise ~ you will find it!

So, give yourself a birthday present and take a break from all that work ~ for a change ~ to pursue your heart's desire.

I hope this helps!

 

[nettyc1]

Thank you so much, never even considered being a workaholic would be a flaw....... Perhaps, it is the work ethics that have been instilled from my immigrant parents..... Honestly, haven't been driven to go the extra mile since I love being in the classroom with the kids. However, have been encourage or should I say pushed to get the post graduates by administration. Thank you it is a comforting feeling at times to have independence as women, knowing how difficult is was for mom. I would have to agree, will I be alone or attain honest intimacy have been questions that arise very often for me.
Thanks again, I will do my best to pursue the heart's desire.....just think & feel, I have some fine tuning to do for some reason. Your help has been greatly appreciated. Many blessings to you & Happy Holiday's to you!!!!!