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Help with Hexagram 44.1.5 that becomes 14 - Relationship subject :-)

CristinaO

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Dear All,
I am pretty new to this forum altough I read you quite often in silence. I did sent this message in another part of this forum directly to Hillary but then I realized that I maybe got wrong. I referred to a message that Hilary posted years ago on Yi and relationship :)
Your help would be really appreciated, thank you in advance for all your help and input!
This is my original message and it's for you all, not only for Hilary:

Thanks for being so generous in sharing your knowledge on Yi. I have just started to learn the I Ching and, you got it, I have started with a question on relationship: what kind of approach should I have with this relationship, what should I expect from this relationship? The response was 44.1,5>14
I have asked it because I feel I run too much driven by the inner need of love and affection, without considering the other person's feelings. The outcome after less than 2 months is that this man got scared and prevented something. Thanks to this I became conscious of this insane dynamic that comes up recurrently everytime I perceive an interest on me. As I don't want if possible to ruin this opportunity as well and, because I like this person, I did ask that question to Yi. I hope you can help me to read and understand Yi's reply with hexagrams 44 with changing lines 1 and 5 that becomes hexagram 14.
As I strive to be positive I don't want to misunderstand the response, just because I desire a promising good answer.
Thank you in advance for your kind support

CristinaO
 

bradford

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44 is generally about exercising restraint, self-control before dissipation or entropy take over.
44.1 should be pretty obvious, with applying the brakes and all.
44.5 advises not rushing things, letting the melons ripen slowly in the cellar, that they might
be opened when Heaven (the right timing) is ready as well. In other words, patience.
To understand 14 it might help to look at how twisted and sick our modern notions of value and worth have become. Most of our economic terms are taken from fine subjective states, like interest and appreciation. The worth of something isn't really what others say it's worth - its in how much we value or treasure it. We can develop a measure of control over this. With this we can enjoy things for what they are instead of needing them to become what we wish they were.
 

CristinaO

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Thank you so much Bradford for your kind reply. I got the 44 with its changing lines and I felt it exactly like you described it. Actually this is just what it's good to do for my benefit and for the other person's benefit. Simply patience like you said.
I am still struggling in understanding this link with the 14. I am so confused that I don't know if this 14 can be interpreted as an encouragement to wait being patient as what I wish will happen - the right timing or heaven as you said - meaning a stable relationship with this person?

It is anyway incredible how Yi got immediately the right sense of how I feel in this "cycle". I want to take this as a precious opportunity to develop and listen myself. I think I need it.
Thank you again
 

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