Hex 1 unchanging - need help with interpretation

[isabelpo]

Hello, thank you for creating this space.I threw Hexagram 1 unchanging. my question was: "Should I be in touch with S. over the next few months?Background for the question: my marriage of 17 years ended very precipitously, total shock. He's newly in recovery, just started a tremendously stressful job, his dad died very suddenly 2 years ago. He has said that i'm the love of his life, he still loves me and there's no one else but he feels hopeless (. I believe his grief/withholding/addiction distorted reality and now he has no coping mechs. It made him cruel, self-hating and small-hearted. It made me (the person from whom things and emotions were withheld) crazy and desperate and incapable of knowing what I actually felt.
 So I've been released from that. He was strategic but uncommunicative in the last month—out of self-preservation and recovery. There was a tremendous amount of love and good about this relationship for many years, up until the break, so I am in shock and turned to the I Ching. How do I interpret this reading? Thanks in advance!

 

[diamanda]

Hi isabelpo and welcome,

Should I be in touch with S. over the next few months? Hex 01 unchanging
Yes. Be creative, be untiring, and keep going at it.

It made him cruel, self-hating and small-hearted

Please keep in mind, that NOTHING can "make" someone cruel and small-hearted.
You're either born cruel and small-hearted or you're not.
If your partner behaves cruel and small-hearted then that's what he is.
I'm sure you've known as much, for a long time now, even if you don't want to admit it.

On the other hand, you've invested 17 years with this person.
So keep going. You've got a chance of restarting things between you.
Be the man in this equation (= hex 1), because he most obviously can't.

 

[isabelpo]

hi diamanda thank so much for your response. I think he's in a tremendous amount of pain, and we all have heaven and hell in us. In recovery they say your emotional capacities when you become sober are equivalent to what they were when you started. That means he's a 13 year old, only capable of a teenager's reponses to anything. That is, if you believe your own story.so i will set myself in order and be as compassionate as i can within the center of integrity. I'm hurt and heartbroken, and can see very clearly where i was in denial. I found this interesting in RL Wing: "Without changing lines, Creative Power is a deeply significant omen. The trigram, Ch"ien, creativity, is repeated above and below. What you create now will be the basis and inspiration for what you experience next. As a result of any action you now take, your fate will be sealed. You may always trace back to the beginning, but there will never be an end to what you are about to set into motion."this was a soul-connection, deep and vast and then, as things happen, we became lost in this world and our fears. We lost each other. So this may be the end, I can accept that. It may be the best thing to ever happen to us, so we can learn about each other again. I don't know.I then asked for clarification twice:"How to be with this relationship with S: Hexagram 14.3.5 to 10""What is the most effective stance to take towards S - Hexagram 11.4 to 34"What do you think of that? What is the most compassionate, beautiful, courageous way forward? Of course I'm hurt and sad. But love is important, and I don't want to leave this world not having loved as deeply as i can.

 

[diamanda]

Well sorry to say this, but I think you're being too naive about it all.
This guy, with his self-centered long term addiction, most probably put you through hell for years.
And now that he's in recovery he's putting you through further hell (without much glimpse of hope for you).
In any case, you should seek professional help for yourself.
Partners of addicted people need as much help as the addicted people themselves.

How to be with this relationship with S: Hexagram 14.3.5 > 10
One of you can't offer anything, and the other person can offer the world and is very sincere.
You need to tread on eggshells as if walking behind a dangerous tiger.
I assume you are the one who is sincere and has lots to offer - and he doesn't/isn't.
Be very very careful. Keep walking behind him, but with great care.

What is the most effective stance to take towards S - Hexagram 11.4 > 34
Is your guy flirting around? As this is a classic line of doing just that, and 34 shows a virile man.
Anyway, if it's not that, then appear to be light-hearted, flirt with him, be easy going.

From your readings I believe there is still hope for you two, but you need to be very strong and careful. You have better chances if you lose the sentimentality and be a lot more pragmatic and strategic about it.

 

[isabelpo]

i guess my (and my therapist's) question is what is the best way forward for me. Not for him, but for me. I'm the virile one and always have been—he's a disaster right now for all the reasons i stated above—he hates himself. i don't want to go back, but i'd like to be kind. and since the first reading Hex1 unchanging is "Without changing lines, Creative Power is a deeply significant omen. The trigram, Ch"ien, creativity, is repeated above and below. What you create now will be the basis and inspiration for what you experience next. As a result of any action you now take, your fate will be sealed. You may always trace back to the beginning, but there will never be an end to what you are about to set into motion."it kind of looks like it's pointing to my own way forward, my own potential - not related to him at all. I miss my best friend, sure but I'm saving my own life first. I know that I'm doing all right things. The energy of love exists forever, so I will always have that between us no matter what it looks like on the outside. Courage is required to be true and authentic, I have that in abundance.There is no shame, I handled things as best I could at the moment. I am making the right decision to step back for now.

 

[isabelpo]

i guess my (and my therapist's) question is what is the best way forward for me. Not for him, but for me. I'm the virile one and always have been—he's a disaster right now for all the reasons i stated above—he hates himself. i don't want to go back, but i'd like to be kind. and since the first reading Hex1 unchanging is "Without changing lines, Creative Power is a deeply significant omen. The trigram, Ch"ien, creativity, is repeated above and below. What you create now will be the basis and inspiration for what you experience next. As a result of any action you now take, your fate will be sealed. You may always trace back to the beginning, but there will never be an end to what you are about to set into motion."it kind of looks like it's pointing to my own way forward, my own potential - not related to him at all. I miss my best friend, sure but I'm saving my own life first. I know that I'm doing all right things. The energy of love exists forever, so I will always have that between us no matter what it looks like on the outside. Courage is required to be true and authentic, I have that in abundance.There is no shame, I handled things as best I could at the moment. I am making the right decision to step back for now.

 

[Trojina]

Not sure if you have seen this, experiences with 1uc. You need to scroll down to get to the actual experiences BTW.

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...periences-With-Unchanging-Castings-Hexagram-1

The energy of love exists forever, so I will always have that between us no matter what it looks like on the outside.

Yes.

 

[isabelpo]

yes! Arabella's experience is spot on and very affirming. Thanks for pointing the way, Trojina."What does Hex One unchanging mean in my experience? That the flying dragon has entirely taken over, will carry you along through a creative process on the order of the Hero Journey [Campbell], and you may not recognize yourself at the new destination. But it will be exciting, instructive and powerful if you just go with it. Don't question -- just go"Thanks to both of you for taking time out to help me. Diamanda, a word of caution, while i appreciate tough and hard truths just as much as the next person - your ad hoc assumptions about him or his behavior, me and i assume what you think i was subjected to or capitulated to, our dynamic, who he is and whether or not i'm getting professional help was irrelevant and a bit like taking a sledgehammer to eating a delicious cake. Because our relationship was that good. And if you read over my questions, you'll see I was asking about MY way forward, not his. i hope you experience love like i have in your life. there's nothing like iit—I wouldn't trade one minute with him for a lesser, easier path—and it's worth both sentimentality, humor, expansiveness and hard work and hard truths. I do appreciate your interpretations, tho. Very helpful.Again, thank you. Onwards.

 

[diamanda]

Hmm... so despite him being an addict of whatever for all this time, your love story was wonderful.
In the end he behaved to you "cruel, self-hating and small-hearted", and he's "uncommunicative".
He "witheld things and emotions" and you felt "crazy and desperate".
He left you after 17 years.

Yet you're choosing to focus on loving him.
And you say you're stepping back and wanting to focus on yourself, but your question was about him.

And yet I'm the bad one here, and your story with him a delicious cake?
So, in conclusion, I'll say: whatever. Suit yourself.

i hope you experience love like i have in your life. there's nothing like iit

This type of "love"? Sounds like a curse, no thanks.

 

[isabelpo]

you're unhelpful in your wildly inaccurate judgments and assumptions. You're pretty good at the Yi. Be well.

 

[isabelpo]

all of my questions were pointed to my actions and way forward. kind of sounds like you have an addict in your life, or some bad relationships. it's cool, i get it. don't assume anything about mine.