Hex 12 changing to Hex 1

[allie]

Hello everyone,

I'm new here, although I have been reading the forum for quite some time now. I am finding the I Ching fascinating, not only as oracle, but as a how much it makes me think about everything on the Universe and it's balance.

Broke up with my ex a few months ago, have been trying to move on, but every now and then I have this feeling that he might come back ...

So, I asked about his feelings about me now, and got Hex 12 changing lines 1, 2 and 3 to Hex 1 ... I feel quite lost with it, I am afraid of trying to read what I want to read on them.

Any insight will be appreciated

 

[gene]

allie

The commentary on the second line says, "...if only he would put an end to their confusion." What is it you are confused about? Do you want him to come back? If so, why did you break up? The second line itself says, "they bear and endure." What are you enduring? Are you sad about this breakup? Or are you hoping you never see him again? Whichever is the case, I might read the answer a little differently.

Gene

 

[allie]

Hello Gene

thanks for your time and reply.

He broke it off with me, so it could be that it's him the 'confused' one?

I do hope to see him again, although it's not my decision, as he decided to break up with me. I haven't talked to him since then, and he just contacted me very few times (nothing of importance).

Also asked if my 'no talking' to him was the correct attitude for myself (either because he 'might' come back, or to help me move on) and got Hex 24, changing on 6 line to Hex 27.

 

[gene]

Well, hexagram 12 line 3 does talk about a turn for the better. So it sounds good, although, I am not totally convinced. Why would he want to come back if he broke up with you? The main reason I can think of is that he might decide his reasons for breaking up weren't valid, or he was being overreactional, something like that... Something must have happened that would make him think he is better off without you. I get the feeling there is something he did not like. If he can get past that... Perhaps a misunderstanding? Something must be giving you the feeling he is coming back. Has he given any hints?

Gene

 

[allie]

He had commitment issues.
Not that I wanted to be married, but after a year I wanted the relationship to be 'official'. We were exclusive, so there should have been no problem. My feeling is that becoming official with me, meant that the past was in the past (he's divorced), and I know that scares him, realizing his life is no more what it was. The break up was completely out of the blue.
Also he might think he can get better than me, that is always the main reason for breaking up, isn't it?

I also think he is dating someone now.

 

[gene]

Allie

He may have felt pressured. The idea of being "ofiicial: was probably meaningless to him and he couldn't understand the significance of it. He couldn't understand why this was important to you. The following commentary on hexagram 12 probably applies to both of you but in different ways. "If the poosibility of exerting influence is closed to them, they nevertheless remain faithful to their principles and draw into seclusion. He felt like he was being pressured and withdrew. You felt he was not ready to take the next step, and withdrew. Line one continues with the same theme and says, "if it is impossible to make our influence count, it is only by retirement that we spare ourselves humiliation. The principle in your mind was to take the next step. The principle in his mind was what does a step have to do with anything, we are fine the way we are. The commentary on line two says, ""...he insures the success of his fundamental principle. Each of you saw the fundamental principle differently. If he is with someone else I doubt he is coming back, unless it doesn't work out at all with this new person.

Good luck with this
Gene

 

[allie]

Hello Gene

thanks again for your insight and time.
You are right.
I should move on.