Hex 19.4.5 > 58 understanding the connection with my coach

[Osenia]

Hello there lovelies,

Alas it is almost not a love reading, yet it might have an underlining twitch of it. Anyways, I am very very confused about the behaviour and relationship to me of my coach. Sometimes, from the way I am being treated, I feel like I am communicating with two different people. And even so I cannot shake a feeling of some strange connection, if it's romantic I don't know - since he has a long term, yet a long distance partner. Anyways, I always feel there is something there, but what and how I don't know. He certainly has a old school approach to coaching and constantly critiquing, saying how bad everything is, that I need to work harder and so on. But once when i couldn't really take it anymore and broke down, he explained that the reason he is doing this is because he wants me to learn and keep pushing. He also goes between the states of hot and cold, being very supportive and suddenly singling me out from a whole group and not speaking to me or critiquing only me. That being said from recently trying to understand my subconscious behaviour with men and this kinda attitude, I really get hooked on it. So I try to be very wary of this type of engagement. I still believe a relationship between a coach and an athlete should be strong, there should be trust, etc. etc. But this is all is so complex that I really do not get what is going on. Sometimes I think that he really dislikes me and trains me only because I'm the only one in the group with such a drive and desire to push forwards. But I am not going to lie that although I try to surpress it, I might have either some romantic feelings or maybe attachment developing and I am not sure I like it very much, because I feel like I don't trust that person and that he can hurt me so to say.

Anyways, I asked the question "WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND MY COACH?"
Answer Hex 19.4.5. > 58

I was a bit surprised to be honest, because, let's say, it was a more positive hexagram than i expected. Progressing somewhere forwards. I guess maybe it implied training, working together and progressing towards a goal? Have no idea about the 8th month, but he is leaving the country soon (and I am quite sad about it because I feel I won't have anyone working with me to that extend, but also losing a friend, however bad we are communicating this to each other). Is it somehow suggesting that despite the throwbacks or odd behaviours i should continue believing in this relationship?

Guessing line 4 indicates that everything that I am doing is fine, my approach to work hard, to work hard while listening to him, yet i try as much as i can (and it is very hard for me to be direct) point out his odd behaviours, eg. not speaking to me for no reason.

Line 5 was interesting to me tho. On LiSe's page it said " Everybody has to live his own life, so grant everyone his own Tao. His decisions, his way of life, his death. Acknowledge it as part of his being, do not withdraw and do not try to make it fit your own convictions 'for his own good' " - I think this implies that he is the way he is - clearly having some social behaviour problems haha. I tend to want to change people, in all my relationships, I wanted my partner to be someone else, and dreaming of him becoming someone else, so in a way this situation is a true challenge. Maybe 5th line is telling me to allow him be himself and maybe myself being myself? (even if I am not exactly sure what it means, I guess not be scared to do the wrong thing, to appear too caring or something).

58 claiming some form of success again. But to be honest I am just struggling to see this all fit the situation at all, despite my gut feeling that there is some feelings of attachment and joy from his side and his occasional display of support, I see the situation in a this way - he is most likely leaving soon, he is acting super weird and i have no idea how to approach him, as i even scared to offer anything to him (not necessary romantic, simply going for a friendly coffee or smth) as maybe i fear rejection?

Ok this was the longest monologue ever, but any other insights apart from my ramblings here would be much appreciated.

Much luv <3

 

[moss elk]

The reading shows the coaches intentions are pure (58=friends), without pretense, in his overseeing (19) of you.

Line 4 shows his commitment.
Line 5 is a picture of a 'coach' or counselor.

You, however, seem to be developing feelings for him.
So, maybe best to get hold of yourself?

 

[Osenia]

The reading shows the coaches intentions are pure (58=friends), without pretense, in his overseeing (19) of you.

Line 4 shows his commitment.
Line 5 is a picture of a 'coach' or counselor.

You, however, seem to be developing feelings for him.
So, maybe best to get hold of yourself?

Perhaps you are right. And I would say yes too, even if I try to suppress or deny the feelings. But this still doesn't for me explain his weird behaviour and I don't really understand what is the advice for me here.

 

[moss elk]

I don't really understand what is the advice for me here.

Your question did not ask for advice!
It asked for a picture of the situation.

I gave the advice.

 

[Matali]

Hello the athlete !
19.4.5 - 58 : I think the advice is in 19, this relationship is not going to last, because as you say, he will leave "When the eighth month comes,There will be misfortune" (The Judgement).
According to both lines, he considers you a talented person. But it's better not to get too emotionally attached...

 

[Osenia]

Thank you both for your answers. Will try to keep those feelings of mine at bay and not build hope on lasting (training or other) relationships. Although he does say that "when you come to join me" or "we will go there or there", he is so flaky that I don't want to build on these future fantasies.

Well at least good to know he doesn't hate me

 

[moss elk]

"When the eighth month comes,There will be misfortune"

Hi Matali,
This translation you quoted seems to me to be a common mistake.
19 is about approaching and overseeing the farm work. The 8th month is harvest time. Combine the two and you get a message something like, "there is work to be done, planning & plowing - showing up only at harvest time
to reap the benefits is no good."

Bradford has it as:
To arrive in the eighth month* would be unfortunate

But in any event,
the judgement doesn't apply when there are changing lines, such as in this reading.

 

[Matali]

Thank you both for your answers. Will try to keep those feelings of mine at bay and not build hope on lasting (training or other) relationships. Although he does say that "when you come to join me" or "we will go there or there", he is so flaky that I don't want to build on these future fantasies.

Well at least good to know he doesn't hate me

No, he doesn't hate you Even if he leaves, that doesn't mean you won't have any contact with him...

 

[Osenia]

Hi Matali,
This translation you quoted seems to me to be a common mistake.
19 is about approaching and overseeing the farm work. The 8th month is harvest time. Combine the two and you get a message something like, "there is work to be done, planning & plowing - showing up only at harvest time
to reap the benefits is no good."

Bradford has it as:
To arrive in the eighth month* would be unfortunate

But in any event,
the judgement doesn't apply when there are changing lines, such as in this reading.

That actually made sense for me in context of Iching creation, didn't really put 8th month and the harvest together and was wondering what is this 8th month, 8th month of whatttt??? haha

So in terms of your interpretation, Im getting that you saying that there has to be hard work to be put into the bond between us whatever that is - i guess hard work from me in terms of training, but also in terms of continuously building trust.

However, you are saying that in terms of the changing lines this doesn't apply.

Anyways, since I was a bit unsure of what this is telling me exactly, I asked

What's the best attitude for me to take to this relationship with X?

Hex 46. 4 > 32

Ok I literally laughed here. "ascend step by step" - guess that relates to what I was writing before. It is a slow cook friendship or building trust over time, not the fire on fire sort of connection. I think what essentially connects is our both love for the sport and my dedication to training.

Please correct me here if I am wrong. Any advice much appreciated <3 Tho I must say I am always so confused about my readings that this must be the clearest one I ever got or understood, to the point that I feel Im missing something here.

 

[moss elk]

So in terms of your interpretation, Im getting that you saying that there has to be hard work to be put into the bond between us whatever that is - i guess hard work from me in terms of training, but also in terms of continuously building trust.

Let me try this another way.
The coach is completely devoted to you as an athlete, he wants to help you,
and you should trust him.
The hard work is your athletic training.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[RemRem]

Hi Osenia!

Rem here. Happy to meet you here.

I hope to share my take on your reading.

Q; WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND MY COACH?"
Hexagram 19.4.5. > 58

19 is approach or nearing. (also influence)
It may suggest a closing of distance.
In the context of people interactions, closing of distance is the proxemity of relationship: how close people to each other.
Give this, it suggests that there's a "closeness" that happens - it becomes too personal and the psychological space/gap is too close. The boundary is disappearing at this point.

From the joyful and satisfying coach-client dynamics (Inner Lake) comes this sense of being broken and vulnerable (Outer Earth)

What's obvious is there's no pause in the coaching process (teaching and reflecting untiringly)
and it's too open yet too confining (accept and protects people without limit)

Despite this, it can be resolved:
take the opportunity (Line 4) that literally the space will go distant, as you mentioned that he is leaving.
(end is nearing, no mistake)

Your best time (Line 5) is to step up for yourself and reclaim your psychological space.

This brings you back to the joy that was once existing in your coach-client relationship.

Hope this helps, Osenia.

Rem

 

[Osenia]

Hi Osenia!

Rem here. Happy to meet you here.

I hope to share my take on your reading.

Q; WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND MY COACH?"
Hexagram 19.4.5. > 58

19 is approach or nearing. (also influence)
It may suggest a closing of distance.
In the context of people interactions, closing of distance is the proxemity of relationship: how close people to each other.
Give this, it suggests that there's a "closeness" that happens - it becomes too personal and the psychological space/gap is too close. The boundary is disappearing at this point.

From the joyful and satisfying coach-client dynamics (Inner Lake) comes this sense of being broken and vulnerable (Outer Earth)

What's obvious is there's no pause in the coaching process (teaching and reflecting untiringly)
and it's too open yet too confining (accept and protects people without limit)

Despite this, it can be resolved:
take the opportunity (Line 4) that literally the space will go distant, as you mentioned that he is leaving.
(end is nearing, no mistake)

Your best time (Line 5) is to step up for yourself and reclaim your psychological space.

This brings you back to the joy that was once existing in your coach-client relationship.

Hope this helps, Osenia.

Rem

Thank you both Mosselk and RemRem for taking your time to respond to me.

To be honest, the actual situation or my understanding of it doesn't seem to be similar to the reading interpretations. I am quite frustrated about the inaccessibility of him as a coach or a friend and this weird behaviour of his. Tho maybe closeness has some form of influence over it, as I don't think I would really tolerate a trainer that suddenly decides not to speak to me alone, or whom I, as an athlete, have to push to train me and constantly seek him out. So, maybe I fear to annoy him because of this closeness. But I just find his behaviour really strange and frustrating. I know that I want to work hard on training and there all these weird behaviours, which seem to stand in the way and which I don't understand, hence I was asking the I Ching what does that mean, thinking that it is either some personal dislike, me being female and being like that child who was meant to be a boy, but hey it's a girl, kinda thing or - I don't even know what else to suggest. So I am surprised that I Ching suggests that he does believe in me, because I fail to see this in his actions. Been thinking recently that I perhaps should refocus and seek for a person wants to work with me in a more straightforward way.

I am sorry this is more of a long rant rather than an analysis of the readings!

 

[RemRem]

Sorry for this, Osenia. I hope all goes well with you and your coach.

As for the reading, since 58 is the resulting hexagram, it implies really the need to have an open communication - speaking for yourself, and speaking to him, with positive regard and openness.

(You can do after fully accepting and understanding how he approaches and treats you).

Hope this helps. Godbless to you, Osenia!