Hex 45.5 to 16

[River1980]

Hi guys

I asked yi what approach i should take when dealing with X.

There is a guy who is friendly at times and remains distant at other times. His behaviour confuses me.

Does this mean he has lost interest. Or maybe that I will lose interest.

Please help guys

 

[Trojina]

Hi guys

I asked yi what approach i should take when dealing with X.

There is a guy who is friendly at times and remains distant at other times. His behaviour confuses me.

Does this mean he has lost interest. Or maybe that I will lose interest.

Please help guys

To find an answer to your question you need to consider hexagram 45 and 45 line 5


So there's a gathering but what's happening ? Here is what the line says from Hilary's translation in wiki


'Gathering together, has a position.
No mistake.
No trust at all.
From the source, ever-flowing constancy.
Regrets vanish.'

So what does all that mean to you ? You are gathered together presumably through circumstance (?), there's a 'position', a role already there to fill for one another so that's not a mistake yet neither of you really seem to be able to fully commit as there's 'no trust'.

I don't think this means there is actual mistrust it's more of that kind of awkwardness you feel when you are put in a position you aren't very much at home in. I've had this line many times when I've been offered a role of some kind but it just doesn't feel something I can naturally inhabit.


Sometimes I've let whatever it is pass me by and other times I've carried on anyway and succeeded. So this is not a prediction of what he will do or what you will do because neither of you are puppets in the hands of fate. Rather Yi has shown you what it's like between you.


Your question was about what approach to take with him and I think Yi is saying it feels awkward for you, possibly for both of you, by what you said about him. You can break through this barrier of awkwardness if you decide to go through with the connection.


So this isn't suggesting reserve on your part but more like trying to make yourself more at home, more comfortable with him and he with you.


So I think you should ride through that slight sense of awkwardness there is if you want this to develop. Keep on talking to him or engaging however you engage so that you can start to relate comfortably with each other.


Sometimes the situation the line is concerning is just so uncomfortable you may not want to so it's very much a choice here. Is this worth you pushing on through times of unease and uncertainty with or is it too difficult ?


I'd say your best bet would be to aim to make him feel as relaxed and 'normal' and at ease in your company as possible. He may need to feel more sure of you just as you do of him so keep on working to make this relationship feel 'right'.

It is interesting that it says there is a 'position' as that generally indicates there is a definite role you have that legitimises the relationship um such as colleague/teacher/bar worker....you know like you are already in place with one another, already have some kind of role to one another and it's not a mistake and yet it still feels sort of empty and awkward so what you need to do is keep on communicating and working with this until it no longer feels that way. If you want to that is.

 

[River1980]

Thank you so much. The gathering relates to us working along side each other. But yes there is awkwardness. So yes I think it means to just give it time and opportunity to evolve naturally.

 

[Melissa_here]

How did this work out??

 

[River1980]

Hi to update. It's just the same really. We are around each other doing our separate thing. He flirts sometimes. But that's as far as it goes.

 

[lucid-a-fly]

Hi I think Iching is reminding you the nature of your question through the changing hexagram 16, it's a joyful relationship, but you maybe too enthusiastic without seeing the truth of the situation. Through Hexagram 45 line 5 iching is telling you that you are gathered together by work (a gathering of people that are selected based on their talents and merits), but your talents are not showing it to him yet (in more simplistic way of saying is that he doesn't see the purpose of being closer with you, he hasn't seen the use of your talents for himself), he probably see that you have a great position within the group, that's why he sometimes flirt with you. But it is just that. Iching may try to say that no matter how you try with him, nothing gonna change. And you should really think about why you are in this gathering of people and the purpose of it. Then you may find a way to connect with him.

 

[ariel13]

To find an answer to your question you need to consider hexagram 45 and 45 line 5


So there's a gathering but what's happening ? Here is what the line says from Hilary's translation in wiki


'Gathering together, has a position.
No mistake.
No trust at all.
From the source, ever-flowing constancy.
Regrets vanish.'

So what does all that mean to you ? You are gathered together presumably through circumstance (?), there's a 'position', a role already there to fill for one another so that's not a mistake yet neither of you really seem to be able to fully commit as there's 'no trust'.

I don't think this means there is actual mistrust it's more of that kind of awkwardness you feel when you are put in a position you aren't very much at home in. I've had this line many times when I've been offered a role of some kind but it just doesn't feel something I can naturally inhabit.


Sometimes I've let whatever it is pass me by and other times I've carried on anyway and succeeded. So this is not a prediction of what he will do or what you will do because neither of you are puppets in the hands of fate. Rather Yi has shown you what it's like between you.


Your question was about what approach to take with him and I think Yi is saying it feels awkward for you, possibly for both of you, by what you said about him. You can break through this barrier of awkwardness if you decide to go through with the connection.


So this isn't suggesting reserve on your part but more like trying to make yourself more at home, more comfortable with him and he with you.


So I think you should ride through that slight sense of awkwardness there is if you want this to develop. Keep on talking to him or engaging however you engage so that you can start to relate comfortably with each other.


Sometimes the situation the line is concerning is just so uncomfortable you may not want to so it's very much a choice here. Is this worth you pushing on through times of unease and uncertainty with or is it too difficult ?


I'd say your best bet would be to aim to make him feel as relaxed and 'normal' and at ease in your company as possible. He may need to feel more sure of you just as you do of him so keep on working to make this relationship feel 'right'.

It is interesting that it says there is a 'position' as that generally indicates there is a definite role you have that legitimises the relationship um such as colleague/teacher/bar worker....you know like you are already in place with one another, already have some kind of role to one another and it's not a mistake and yet it still feels sort of empty and awkward so what you need to do is keep on communicating and working with this until it no longer feels that way. If you want to that is.

Trojina, I think this is an incredibly astute response. I received this line in response to a current romantic relationship and never had anything ring so true. There is absolutely a feeling of unease as we work through our ideas of what a "successful" relationship is– and what that entails. I can't get over how insightful this is to me. I know it's an old thread but THANK YOU.

 

[ariel13]

I'd say your best bet would be to aim to make him feel as relaxed and 'normal' and at ease in your company as possible. He may need to feel more sure of you just as you do of him so keep on working to make this relationship feel 'right

Beautifully said

 

[ariel13]

.you know like you are already in place with one another, already have some kind of role to one another and it's not a mistake and yet it still feels sort of empty and awkward so what you need to do is keep on communicating and working with this until it no longer feels that way. If you want to that is

YES. Thank YOU.