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Hex 49 positive or negative?

cirka09

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I've been seeing someone and today I asked what role I play in X's life.
I recieved hex 49 lines 3, 5, and 6 changing to 21. I know 49 is about change, but I'm having a difficult time figuring out if that change is positive or negative. I know this girl just got out of a relationship in July and she was still healing when I met her so maybe my role was in allowing her to throw out the old relationship and move on to a new one. But it seems to be giving me advice rather than telling me what I did for her. I could also see it saying that I'M the old skin being shed by her and we should move on to something new. I dunno. Other opinions would be greatly appreciated.
 

hilary

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Brad, I think if you re-read you'll find he's wondering about the nature of this specific change, not whether 49 is a 'good hexagram'.

(Trottel.)

Cirka (hi) I think your basic idea that you play a part in her 'change of government' is a good one. It's trickier to identify where you and she stand in the lines, but I would hazard a guess that...

- you're part of a conversation about change, of getting used to the idea of moving on - not something you can hurry
- you're advised not to play the game of guessing what might be happening with her to make it safe to know what's going on with you. (The tiger knows his own mind.)
- it may be that she is not capable of the degree of transformation you would like, though she does her level best to cooperate.

That last part especially is guesswork - the line doesn't say who is 'noble one' and who is 'small people', and they could also all be part of one person's inner community.
 

bradford

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Brad, I think if you re-read you'll find he's wondering about the nature of this specific change, not whether 49 is a 'good hexagram'.

I still think positive and negative is inherently the wrong way to look at things - even if you're simultaneously looking for the downside of the good and the upside of the bad.
And there's always danger that someone will take the mindless yes-no oversimplification as the content of the Yi's message. Life is almost always richer than that, and the metaphors of the Yi give us tools to explore that richness. If we don't we might just as well be flipping a coin with heads for good.
 

cirka09

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I agree with and thank you both. Hilary thanks for your insight, I think your interpretation is pretty accurate and the advice is appreciated. Bradford I also agree with you and understand what your saying. I'm afraid your right and I may have been trying to oversimplify the answer that was given.
 
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meng

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It sounds to me like you're being her transitional net. I don't mean that in an insulting way, only that you provide the landing spot for her rebound. Sometimes that works, but not without the process of working through leaving the old behind. She may want to hang her old skin in your closet for a few years, unless both of you are determined to press on toward something better together.
 

bradford

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Without going into detail, the method I use to go from 49 to 21 also
passes through lines 17.5 and 51.6.
17.5 suggests you might be able to assist her in raising her standards
and 51.6 to help her to stand outside of herself, to be more objective
where she might otherwise be distraught.
 

cirka09

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You ever have one of those days that you wish you could go back and change? I did yesterday. I've been under alot of stress and I allowed it to screw with my head. Yesterday I said something incredibly stupid and I'm extremely disappointed in myself for doing so. I falsely accused her of having a boyfriend... We didn't agrue about it. She just said she wasn't aware that she did and asked what I was talking about. I was emberassed and just said nevermind, sorry. Have a nice time with your family. She didn't inquire any further and just said She will when she gets home g'bye.

Feel free to tell me how stupid and arrogant I was. I would righty deserve it. I asked the yi what I should do anout the damage I caused and it gave me 15.1.4 to 55. I'm not sure if it's telling me to appologize and explain or to just let sleeping dogs lie and not worry about it. Once again, any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you...
 

bradford

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Doesn't even matter what the Yi says. If you have any character at all you know you need to apologize.
 

bradford

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I intend to. Just trying to decide on the best way to it.

There's way too much strategy in that statement. 15 is all about just being real and honest. Although 15 uses the subject of modesty and social misconceptions about what that should be, the real subject of 15 is authenticity. Just speak from the heart to the point. Who knows, in the process you might just set that higher standard that I talked about under 17.5 and raise the bar for your friendship.
 

cirka09

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I aologized last night. A lot was said. She is dealing with alot right now and said I didn't make it better but it's ok. I don't know where we stand right now, so I asked where do we go from here. Hex 25.4 to 42. I can't tell if it's a prediction or if I'm just being comforted.
 

cirka09

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I also asked what I can do to improve our relationship. 35.1 to 21. Ironically this is the exact same image I received a few days ago when I was feeling unsure about where we stood.... before I screwed up. It seems to be saying not to fret over it. Continue doing what is right, stay calm, maintain composure, clench my teeth, don't be a chicken ****, and bite through.
 
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meng

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Other than what's been said, my only comment is, if she's under her own stresses right now, the best thing for her would be someone who is relaxed and at ease. She's willing to let it go. Would be a good idea for you to as well. Be natural and at ease (25/15). Let her breathe and respect her space.
 

cirka09

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I'm willing to let it go. My fear is that she's letting ME go...
 

cirka09

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Today she told me she's sick of life. I offered my help then asked the yi what I could do to help her through this rough time. I got 12.5 to 35. Anything?
 

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