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Hex 5.1, 29.2.3.5>15 and other "dangers" of a friendship

mountainbel

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Hello everyone,

I have been reading this forum for a couple of months in a desire to gain more insight into I-ching and I find it very helpful. I always get the "aha" moment by reading others' responses, but now I feel that I need to actually ask for help with a reading.

This reading is surprisingly negative, and that's why I feel that it would be beneficial to really consider my actions with a good friend of mine. We have been friends for a few years, and were much closer in the past that we are now. I read about all her endeavors online as she is very active with an organization that she founded. Bottom line is, I feel I can't be fully honest with her, and that has created a rift in our friendship. But she has made it a point through the years to support my endeavors, and I have in turn supported hers. That was until recently when I was very excited about something, and she was uncharacteristically lacking in her supportive nods. I even made it clearer how excited I am about this one organization that I found, which is basically a dream come true for me, and her response was 0 again. Then she didn't come to my birthday celebration. I do know that these are not life or death issues. I do however feel that I need to tell her that our friendship as it was before is not the same anymore.

So the question was " What is x's role in my life?"

I got hex 29.2.3.5 turning into 15, modesty! Now hex 29 scares me, it just sounds very foreboding, and in this circumstance my interpretation is that I may make a mistake in communicating that may create a very negative situation. I can't quite see how that would be, but I am very aware that both our egos when hurt may become pretty spiteful. This has never happened between us, but it is like the saying "still waters are deep", I intuitively know that she is not as sweet as she would like the world to think. The modesty part I interpret as me returning to humbleness and knowing that when I align with the truth in me, and follow the Sage, it will all be well, and this danger is more of a danger in perception than actual danger.

With that said when I got today Hex 5.4<43 to a question "how do I approach my friendship with x?" my first impression was, I am being guided to really be honest with her in a way I have never been, and be resolute in not wanting to continue a dis ingenuous friendship. Furthermore, I feel called to really self-examine my issue with her not supporting me, which is really at the core my own ego's desire to be approved. If that desire wasn't there, nothing that she has done would have had any effect on me, and we would have naturally entered into the new form of our friendship, without any struggles. And line 4 is just so foreboding! Wow, life and death danger, that's just super intense!

Please advise me as to how I may see myself, my friend, and this situation in a clearer way! Thank you!
 

pocossin

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What is x's role in my life?
29.2.3.5>15

Your friendship has fallen into an abyss, and the Yi counsels small gestures (line 2), waiting (line 3), and no extreme act (line 5). Hexagram 15 counsels restraint. I see no indication -- no matter how disappointed you feel -- that you should tell your friend that the friendship is not the same anymore.

Nine in the second place means:
The abyss is dangerous.
One should strive to attain small things only.

Six in the third place means:
Forward and backward, abyss on abyss.
In danger like this, pause at first and wait,
Otherwise you will fall into a pit in the abyss.
Do not act in this way.

Nine in the fifth place means:
The abyss is not filled to overflowing,
It is filled only to the rim.
No blame.
 
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themis

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An example of 'schadenfreude' ... maybe. Don't turn the other cheek ;)
 

mountainbel

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Thank you, pocossin and themis for the answers.

Since I had to respond to my friend's request if anything is wrong and I hadn't received your answer, pocossin, I decided to change my approach in my response to her, and I did tell her what was on my mind. That was based in my initial impression when I read hex 15. I interpret hex 15 as an invitation to release whatever pride I have and be unassuming and receptive. In the past, I have made the mistake of taking things too personally. As I sat in stillness and observed the ego, I could see how the "danger" pointed out to me is my own desire to be separate and adversarial in my mind towards my friend.

Her response was very sweet and apologetic. Whatever her ego was prompting her to do was not her true intention.

It felt liberating to me to accept her as she is, without having to impose on her my expectations of what I think she "should" do as my friend. It felt spacious, and I do feel it also helped me accept myself more as an imperfect/perfect friend/being. As I sit here now, it feels wonderful to have that inner spaciousness inside regarding my friend.

Thank you for sharing in my process of inner transformation. I am realizing that it is most important for one to connect to that inner place of knowing when interpreting life and the i ching.
 

anemos

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It felt liberating to me to accept her as she is, without having to impose on her my expectations of what I think she "should" do as my friend. It felt spacious, and I do feel it also helped me accept myself more as an imperfect/perfect friend/being. As I sit here now, it feels wonderful to have that inner spaciousness inside regarding my friend.

.

I love that part !
 

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