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Hex 63.3 to 3

River1980

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I asked for some guidance as I think I may be in some trouble. I am unsure how to interpret this. Can I get some help please. Basically I have a guy in my life who keeps messing with my head and emotions and I don't know what his real agenda is. Because if you really liked someone you would not behave in this manner surely. Please help x
 

ginnie

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The line 63.3 indicates that to fight him off or put him in his place will be a very protracted struggle and very exhausting. Yet it does say that the fight would be successful, even though it will take a long time. All best wishes to you. :)
 

canislulu

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Here are some simple thought I have about your question for guidance in your relationship:

To me it is interesting that you have received 63, ALREADY ACROSS --- as if something has already been decided or some commitment has already been made. What is that in terms of this relationship or your feelings about it? What river have you crossed, River?

I am not sure what translation you use, so I will quote from Wikiwing (on this website) for hexagram 63 in general:

Oracle
'Already across. Creating success.
Constancy yields a small harvest.
Beginnings, good fortune.
Ending, disorder.'

So Yi is advising you that constancy will yield a small harvest and then...

Image
'Stream dwells above fire. Already across.
In this way, noble one reflects on distress and is prepared to defend against it.'

You mention distress, i.e., feeling that he is messing with your head and emotions. In answering with 63 Yi is telling you to reflect on this distress and prepare to defend yourself against it. How can you defend yourself against it?

And then with the changing line:
63.3
Line 3
'The high ancestor subdues the Demon Country.
Three years go round, and he masters it.
Small people are of no use.'

For me, I usually think of this line in terms of my inner world. I see the "small people" as parts of myself that don't help me in the situation --- maybe patterns of behavior that helped me survive that aren't of use in the situation. For example, perhaps I've allowed myself to be intimidated by bullies in my life. but then one day the "High ancestor", i.e., some part of myself, has found a way to no longer be bullied. But it might take practice for me to employ this new skill of avoiding "bullying" --- three years to master this Demon Country (which I think of as the patterns I have of relating that allow me to put up with being bullied.).

Now your particular case may not be a Demon Country of bully/victim interactions. I just use that as an example from one of my own particular "Demon Countries". The small parts of myself that accepted being bullied no longer help me. I do not know what your particular Demon Country may be.

But I hear Yi advising you to subdue the demon country and that this may take some time.

With Hexagram 3 as the relating hexagram --- I would see this as a situation as sprouting something new for you. And the guidance may be for you to get some help -- "Harvest in establishing feudal lords."

Who can help you to conquer the Demon Country? Friends? Counselors? etc.?
 

Tim K

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63.3 → 3 (Arduous Beginnings), Wilhelm:
The Illustrious Ancestor disciplines the Devil's Country.
After three years he conquers it. Inferior people must not be employed.


Daniels: Your goals are noble but need time to achieve.

Leading to h3, Wilhelm: the superior man brings order out of confusion

I get this line on a regular basis, Yi reminding me to keep following my diet and letting the old habits go.
All these random thoughts about different types of food pop-up, but they also quickly go away if I just ignore them. The further I go the less they pop-up.

I think your reading is the same - control your emotions, don't let him (the devils country) influence you so easily. It will take a lot of time, but success is possible.

There is a similar line, 43.5 → 34 (Invigorating Power), Wilhelm:
In dealing with weeds, Firm resolution is necessary.
Walking in the middle remains free of blame.
 

River1980

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Thank you to you all for your insights
Jumping mouse by already across it means that I have a determination to end it because fed up of being treated so badly. but I have felt this way three times and he's managed to convince me to take him back, give him money, do things for him etc. I know he's bad for me but it's like I am addicted. Some thing is wrong with me.
 

canislulu

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I don't think there is anything wrong with being human. (I admit I sometimes have had that "Some thing is wrong with me" feeling. In other moments I know that I am simply a human being learning and growing.)

Perhaps the "protracted struggle" to "fight him off" that ginnie describes is already largely behind you. That is the impression I get from your post #5.

Perhaps you can employ Ashteroid's example with the food. Thoughts from the part of you that considers taking him back may pop up; you can simply notice them and ignore them.

As ginnie said, 63.3 indicates that your fight will be successful.
 

canislulu

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I feel a need to add something to my comments in #6. "Demon countries", being the devilish territories that they are, are devilish, hence the need for three years to master them. This is no hitting it on the first try kind of a time. (And you already know this as you said you have been through this three times with him.) My concern would be that you may ban him from your life only to find that you end up in similar dynamics with someone else. That may be another "distress" that you need to prepare yourself against.
 

River1980

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The three years and demon countries may not be about this same guy, I seem to keep attracting bullies and manipulative people into my life. I have got myself into a repetitive cycle. Whan I asked yi what is his agenda I got hex 11.1 to 46 - which kind of reflects on this. Looks like I need to look into stopping this cycle. If any one can add any more insight I would greatly appreciate this. it still does not really talk about what his agenda is?? Is it money? Power? Dominance?
 

Tim K

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What's his agenda - give him a finger he'll bite the hand I suppose.
 
B

butterfly spider

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Messing with the head

Like Ashteroid this hexagram has popped up for me quite often. Hex 63 was like Groundhog Day last year - over and over

What I learnt from this recurring hex 63 (and hex 63 to 3) was that stepping out of the water - sunbathing or wallowing in the mud - is something to consider. Already across - but not really fully there yet
In terms of your question - step back and extricate yourself from his issues.

When I have had hex 63 to 3 it has always been that whatever the outcome it was decided before I even asked the question
X
 

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