Hex 9 to Hex 21

[peace]

Hi:

I asked:
How to view a particular relationship in total - the good with the not so good and I got?

9 with Lines 2,3,4,5, changing (all the core lines) to 21.

I read it as - stay restrained, cautious.
You have no influence so keep quiet - it'll do no good to speak up or say what I think.

And...what I have to do is watch, stay restrained and use this opportunity to "bite through" and reform all aspects of my part in this relationship - since I have no influence on the situation.

Is there other things I should think about?

Thanks,
Rosalie

 

[rosada]

Hi Rosalie,

It reads to me like the I Ching is saying you are in a relationship where you are being some what used (Hexagram 9) and it could be a whole lot better if the two of you could speak frankly about the specific issues (Hexagram 21).

I would not say that getting Hexagram 9 means you have "no influence" - the wind IS blowing across the sky! - but your ability to exert influence is limited. You still have the power of "Friendly persuasion" to quote Wilhelm.

Also the change lines, while they start out suggesting you hold back, 3 particularly warns of misunderstandings, still 4 and 5 emphasize the power of truth and the wealth that is created when two people feel they can trust each other and share. The whole flow seems to be about knowing that your truth is to be heard and building the confidence to express it.

Hexagram 21 Biting Through is about speaking openly particularly to remove some block to understanding.

So rather than interpreting your throw as a sign to just work on yourself (though truly, what else can we do?) i see it that the I Ching is saying that while you maybe in a relationship where you are feeling unequal at this moment, with careful attention you can build a more equitable arangement, and that ultimately (with Hexagram 21) you will be able to speak frankly with your friend which will be a great benefit because it appears there are some issues that should not be ignored, but should be discussed.

BTW - Hexagram 9 is sometimes refered to as Gentle Restraint, but this does not necessarily mean you should restrain yourself. Gentle Restraint can be the influence you can have on another who may be too head strong or powerful for you to stop or redirect openly, but your calm gentle efforts can tame this puppy!

Best wishes,
Rosada

 

[rosada]

Hi again, Rosalie,

Some more thoughts on Hexagram 9 and relationships...hexagram 9, Gentle Restraint follows 8, Seeking Union. ..when two people seek union they inevitably come up against some area in which there is some resistance, and then because barging full speed ahead would meet with The Easily Angered Tiger (hexagram 10), it is wise to slow down - practice Gentle Restraint (9)- to see what this possible resistance might be.
The image of wind gently blowing across the sky suggests the art of metal rubbings where the artist rubs a pencil gently across a paper over a coin. The gentle strokes gradually reveal the pattern on the coin beneath. So by gently interacting with the situation the underlying opbstacles become appearant.

The lines seem to illuminate the path:

According to the lines...(I Ching Made Easy, Sorrell)

9.2 Two people co-operate to overcome a mutual obstruction, to keep each other on The Path. (This seems to confirm that you are in relationship with the other person - you're not just constantly randomly bumping into each other!)

9.3 Need to stop arguments and blame whenever anything goes wrong. Stop before it gets out of hand. Your happiness depends on it. (So there are issues)

9.4 The yin line. When arguments arise, use calmness and sincerity, not forceful measures, to dispel conflict.

9.5 When we believe we are meant to be together and that any
misunderstandings that arise can be dispelled peacefully (lines 2,3, 4) then we can enter a relationship without fear because we know we can tell the partner everything. Mutual truth creates mutual trust.

Hexagram 9 now changes to 21, Biting through. I see Biting Through as the bump in the road that has been revealed through the gentle get to know you process of 9. That is, by getting to know the other, the real issue is revealed. 21 is The Real Issue., the Real Obstacle in the relationship. The I Ching doesn't comment as to what you should do about this obstacle other than one's intention to overcome it is key.

Thus it seems to me the I ching is saying this relationship has much going for it and so the obstacles are worth overcoming but to over come them you will have to practice gentle restraint as by doing so you will get to undersatand and see the obstaclses more clearly and thus have a better idea about how to go about dealing with them cleanly and effectively.

Thanks for reading this Rosalie. I am new here and have not had many others to discuss I Ching ideas with in the past so please forgive me if my manner of writing is abrupt or unclear. I'm only used to talking to myself!

Thanks,
Rosada

 

[peace]

Thanks Rosada. You're doing good!!
I like what you said.

This relationship is tricky for me.
It's one of those where it's not real clear where it's going - and I'm the one who doesn't want it to go further. I'm just not sure if it's because I see things in him that I know won't change so I won't allow myself to take it to the next level.
Maybe I'm afraid - or maybe it's that the chemistry really isn't there for me. He's truly gorgeous but he doesn't turn me on - go figure.
I wish I could feel more.

He did something I didn't like and we discussed it.
However, I'm still annoyed, but I don't want to discuss it further because I don't want to have to define this relationship. I like it the way it is.

The reading is perfect - and I believe 21 says I really cannot continue to keep things in limbo.

This is a great chatroom. I hope you'll continue.

Thanks,
Rosalie

 

[rosada]

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Rosalie.
This does indeed seem to be a very fine group indeed.

rosada

 

[peace]

Rosada:

I found this group in August - so I'm new also.
There are some people here who have been doing this for 30 or more years. It's a great place to learn more. I'm just starting to give my opinions.

Rosalie