Hexagram 14.3>38

[oceangirl]

Finally I've met a man that I feel may become a partner in my life. We've connected on a whole other level than just romantic but he does have a few anomolies in his life so I'm just wondering what's this is all about.

What do I need to know about our relationship

14.3>38

 

[Freedda]

What's your query / question?

 

[oceangirl]

What's your query / question?

Sorry I fixed it up had to do something else before I finished.

 

[Trojina]

Finally I've met a man that I feel may become a partner in my life. We've connected on a whole other level than just romantic but he does have a few anomolies in his life so I'm just wondering what's this is all about.

What do I need to know about our relationship

14.3>38

You need to know whether you are up to it, whether you have enough within you to have the relationship. Generally the line seems to mean, for me at least, you do....so what are you waiting for ?


It's a good answer because it puts the question to you, it's not about him. Having a relationship takes a lot of energy and will and all kinds of things, so it draws on you and the question asks whether you have it to give and whether you are willing to give. You don't have to, it's up to you...it's just a simple question you answer in the privacy of your own heart.

 

[equinox]

According to my experiences with this line, it may suggest that you will have to have a lot of patience with this person, to bring sacrifices. Like, you cannot expect (always) being the number one in his life and need the grandeur to accept it. I am not talking about another woman, but maybe about "that he does have a few anomalies in his life" as you write. That requires a lot of independence on your side, for times when he is not available for example... and you have to take it easy in order of not getting sad. Or maybe he need a lot of support from you. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, it depends on "wether you are willing to give", as Trojina said.

This is of course only my experience, others may have different ones. I wish you all the best!

 

[oceangirl]

Thankyou Trojina and blackmilk - you're both right....yes in my heart I know I have to work out how much I wish to give as he is someone that does like a lot of support from others and does have a lot going on at present. He also revealed to me that he has a condition called Essential Tremors which in the long run may become more debilitating and if it becomes a life-long relationship I could end up becoming his carer in some way although from what I know of his life and have witnessed myself it's not holding him back in anyway except sometime in social settings.

 

[oceangirl]

Oh well he just sent me a msge saying he's no longer interested.

What do I need to know about his reason for walking away

Hexagram 52.3.4>35

Hexagram 52 Stillness and yet Line 3 speaks of not repressing ones desires.....his desires were there for sure and there were so many indicators that showed he was really interested then all if a sudden he seemed to want to get away from me very quickly - it was weird.

Line 4 I feel like talks of my need to find peace with it all.

 

[Sixth Relative]

Hi oceangirl

What do I need to know about our relationship
14.3>38

If you tossed on July 3rd, 2017 it seems like he has sincere feelings towards you, but he is temporarily unable/restricted to follow them. Eventually, he would overcome that restriction/unability.

What do I need to know about his reason for walking away
Hexagram 52.3.4>35

If you tossed on July 4th, 2017 it seems like he is conflicted, he is acting against his feelings/desires. Is he married/divorced and with offspring(s)? If you read the answer with WWG, the active third line has the symbol for offspring and is moving against the line representing you and the active fourth line has the symbol for brother (a competitor) moving to reinforce the attack from the third line. The resultant third line has the symbol for Husband and it's supporting the line representing you; so there is a possibility for him to overcome the dynamic against you. Seems like the reason for his walking away is a familiar conflict but eventually he would overcome it.

Of course, that doesn't mean that you must wait for him

 

[oceangirl]

Thankyou sixth relative yes I tossed the coins on those dates for each reading.
I didn't think I was wrong in how he felt towards me - the last time we spent time together he was keen for me to meet his friends, which I did that day, a couple of hours later he made a point of telling me his condition and also that there was someone important he wanted to tell that he was seeing me.....then 24 hours later he sent the message saying he was no longer interested.

 

[Sixth Relative]

a couple of hours later he made a point of telling me his condition and also that there was someone important he wanted to tell that he was seeing me.....then 24 hours later he sent the message saying he was no longer interested.

Oh, I see. Based on the 52zhi35 answer, using Wen Wang Gua to read it, I would say his condition is not playing a key factor but that important someone. He may regret his decision in the future. Well, if you stay interested by then, that may work; otherwise, it would be his loss.

 

[oceangirl]

Yes that important someone does have influence on his decision for sure - too long a story to relay but it was one of the anomalies I wasn't comfortable with....his condition doesn't bother me. Thanks for helping me ease my mind.

 

[rosada]

In view of how things evolved, what do you now see as the meaning of hexagram 14.3 - 38.? Could the IC have been alerting you that while you might have been willing to make the a total commitment, he was the "small person" who was not capable of giving so much? Would hexagram 38 then mean that he was only able to connect in minor ways as his path was going in a different direction?

 

[oceangirl]

You need to know whether you are up to it, whether you have enough within you to have the relationship. Generally the line seems to mean, for me at least, you do....so what are you waiting for ?


It's a good answer because it puts the question to you, it's not about him. Having a relationship takes a lot of energy and will and all kinds of things, so it draws on you and the question asks whether you have it to give and whether you are willing to give. You don't have to, it's up to you...it's just a simple question you answer in the privacy of your own heart.

Actually with what Trojina wrote here I've replaced myself as questioning whether I can give to it being him questioning whether he's prepared to do what it takes.
He was already in a Hexagram 38 of Opposition because of the 3rd party's influence as was I. I said if he didn't sort out unfinished business then I was opposed to trying to move forward in our potential relationship.

 

[oceangirl]

Yesterday I rethought this whole situation - in his message about being no longer romantically interested in me he also hoped we could still be part of each others life in some way and I said no I wasn't up for it and then I changed my mind which in essence describes what Trojina and blackmilk said - would I be willing to give it a go despite him not being on the same page as me re a relationship or words to that effect.

I sent him a message asking if he'd be interested in building a friendship with me but 24 hours later he still hasn't responded.
On asking the Tarot how he feels about me I get the 3 x Swords which I don't really understand except maybe he is the one feeling hurt - which to me would be weird considering he pushed me away not the other way around.

Anyway I asked Yi Please show me a picture of his feelings towards me and I do understand the Yi usually responds by reflecting back self.

Hexagram 49.1>31

I've read this two ways - He believes the time isn't right or doesn't believe such a change could take place......and if it's about me I just need to be patient until he feels it's right for this to happen.

 

[Sixth Relative]

Hexagram 49.1>31

Hi

Using Wen Wang Gua, he does have feelings for you, but has a stronger bond to another woman; if preassured to decide, he would tend to choose her over you.

On July 7th, 06:21 am, the month Wu (linked to the Horse Chinese sign, with Fire as element) changes into month Wei (linked to the Goat Chinese sign, with Earth as element). That would have some impact on the reading if one uses WWG to read the answer. So, it would be needed to know whether you tossed before or after that date and hour (local time) to have a more precise reading.

 

[oceangirl]

Hi thanks sixth relative. The time and date you suggested are correct for time of toss.
Yes the bond with the other woman is stronger at this point in time though not romantic.

 

[Trojina]

Going through very old journals, one thought came to me that does kind of explain how one can get really glowing answers for apparently disappointing relationships. The thought is that Yi 'sees' all human relations from a very different angle than we do. It's like between each person, regardless of their named relationship as 'son/mother/boss/friend' there is a vast potential for beauty in that connection. We can't see that because we see our relationships as defined units, with titles, like in little boxes. So if someone doesn't fulfil our criteria of what a friend is then they aren't a friend. We have to do that to some degree, with our human brains. In romantic situations we make the boxes even smaller as to what defines them but to Yi this is just another being/energy with whom all kinds of transmutations and transformations and exchange might happen.

I do think 14.3 was asking how far you could forbear with this guy maybe although I am very sorry and disappointed he sent you that miserable text. From my human perspective I'd think as you probably are 'well how forbearing am I meant to be !' but 14.3 does call for more than our humdrum human perspective for it says in Hilary's translation

'A prince makes a summer offering to the son of heaven.
Small people are in no way capable of this'

So this is something where just thinking like an average human being isn't quite enough. Indeed I have cast this line about Christ which was interesting since it uses the term 'son of heaven'. So it does seem to me exactly as you say

I said no I wasn't up for it and then I changed my mind which in essence describes what Trojina and blackmilk said - would I be willing to give it a go despite him not being on the same page as me re a relationship or words to that effect.

I think the line is asking you whether you are going to stay on the common human level of thinking with this OR go a step further into well a bigger more generous way of being ? There isn't any judgement in the line. You don't have to act like the son of heaven if you can't, and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. It's up to you. It might even be your generosity he feels he cannot live up to I don't know.

Anyway I asked Yi Please show me a picture of his feelings towards me and I do understand the Yi usually responds by reflecting back self.

Hexagram 49.1>31

I've read this two ways - He believes the time isn't right or doesn't believe such a change could take place......and if it's about me I just need to be patient until he feels it's right for this to happen.

It sounds like he isn't ready for the 14.3 way of being...and I mean the 14.3 way of being is a big thing to live up to, we can't all do it straight away. There's a sense of unrest in 49.1, someone is almost ready to change, they aren't quite comfortable but haven't yet shrugged of that old constraining tight skin they are living in. So to me this is a picture of where the relationship is at but how long this stage will last I don't know. I think 14.3 is a lovely line for you to hold on to throughout this though.

 

[oceangirl]

Thanks Trojina - it was a friend who looked at it from a different perspective than my emotional attachment that made me rethink the whole thing. Your suggestion of being with this relationship from more than a human level to a more generous way is exactly how I'm now thinking about it.
Although I've forgotten now the resulting cast amidst this I'd asked the question how can I progress this relationship from a higher perspective....so much easier to sit with than an emotional attachment.
I'd say you're on the right track in terms of him not thinking he can live up to my generousity - in our short-lived time together he did throw a number of anomalies at me including his health condition and to me all that he threw at me I found no issue with....I guess he's not used to that as mostly people just judge us don't they?! and compartmentalise or defining units as you say.
My gut feeling is he'll be back in touch perhaps when he is ready to shrug off that constraining tight skin - this bond he has with the other woman....I'm guessing that's a comfort zone thing....easier than shedding the old and making way for the new.
We'll just have to see what happens....hopefully for his sake he let's go and moves forward.

 

[oceangirl]

Update: We are in contact again. We were just texting but then he surprised me by ringing me tonight and we chatted about nothing much for about 20 minutes - I found it a bit awkward but he made it obvious he just wanted to keep talking to me also saying he feels so lucky that I've showed him kindness in all of this....I have asked where to from here but I'll start a new post.

 

[oceangirl]

It sounds like he isn't ready for the 14.3 way of being...and I mean the 14.3 way of being is a big thing to live up to, we can't all do it straight away. There's a sense of unrest in 49.1, someone is almost ready to change, they aren't quite comfortable but haven't yet shrugged of that old constraining tight skin they are living in. So to me this is a picture of where the relationship is at but how long this stage will last I don't know.

This is what I think really now that's it's been a number of weeks since we parted ways. He just doesn't have the emotional maturity to be able to change and I think he realises if he wants to be in a relationship with me he's going to have to make the necessary emotional changes in himself for it to work - either he can't or he doesn't want to as well I think.