Hexagram 17 unchanging

[edge]

One more reading about the friendship I've re-started...I've been aware of how things could get more complicated very fast even though I'm trying to take things slowly with this guy. I realised today that I also have a lot of anxiety from previous experiences, and reacted badly to seeing him today when we were both tired and a bit down and things felt very difficult. My first response was to panic and want to shut down completely so I asked:
How should I proceed with this friendship? 17 unchanging

My interpretation of 17 is that this is saying 'just go with it', that its the beginning of a friendship which is just about starting to understand and interact with each other and be aware of how our reactions impact on each other. It felt quite reassuring, and made me think of how in any relationship one follows the other, and at times the roles reverse. I also understand it as saying that persistence in this course slowly and steadily is the right thing to do.

Any further thoughts?
Thanks!
E

 

[my_key]

Hi Edge
Work out the best way to polish your silverware and then show how good you can be at polishing.
Mike

 

[edge]

Hi Mike,
thanks, but...that's even more cryptic than the I Ching!!!
Can you explain a bit more what you mean?
E

 

[maremaria]

Hi Edge,


This hex reminds me of the Tango where there is clearly a leader and a follower. A friend of mine has some problems with her tango partner and she is very worried about a future performance. What you say here is very similar to her problem. He ( the partner) can’t lead, he is a bit arrogant and doesn’t help her to be a good follower. ( i don't mean someone of you its like him, just there is not an easy flow )

Wilhelm says :

In order to obtain a following one must first know how to adapt oneself. If a man would rule he must first learn to serve, for only in this way does he secure from those below him the joyous assent that is necessary if they are to follow him.

I don’t have much experience with 17, but I guess its not follow blindly; just create all those conditions for a smooth flow.

Hope i'm not way off,

Maria

 

[edge]

That makes sense to me, Maria. My feeling about 17, especially in this context, is that its about learning how to 'be' with another person in a real way. Just because you have feelings or an intuitive understanding of the other, doesn't mean you know how to make it work. That takes time and noticing how one thing affects the other. So it feels like its about awareness and feedback and acting upon what you begin to understand. Probably one of the most useful readings I've had in a long time!
Thank you.
E

 

[my_key]

Hi Mike,
thanks, but...that's even more cryptic than the I Ching!!!
Can you explain a bit more what you mean?
E

Hi Edge

It made perfect sense to me.... Let's have another go.
Discover what it is that you need to do to achieve your goal and then keep doing it and doing it to the best of your ability.

BTW - What is your silverware?
Mike

 

[edge]

Hi Mike,
that makes sense now, think I was being a bear of very little brain...
Its a good question too, will go and think about my silverware...
E