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Hexagram 26 line 3 in regard to relationship

Magnus

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Hi, I'm fairly new to the I Ching, as far as really getting into understanding indepth interpretations and whatnot. I've been using it for a few months via ifate.com though, and have found it to seem fairly accurate in what it tells me there. Lately I've been finding information on here to be quite interesting and more in depth.

So I thought I would post this reading and see what kind of response I get. I just asked the I Ching "What would the effect of going along with the silence be on my romance life?" and received hexagram 26, line 3, so it changes into hexagram 41. I wasn't sure what level of effect the changed hexagram of 41 has on the reading, but was wondering if maybe it means that there will be a decrease in silence if it is simply waited out? It feels like that would be a good fit for the situation. Any further information regarding the first hexagram and changing line would also be of interest. It seems to me that being at peace with the way things are would be a positive path and enable options or good things to arise.
 
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blue_angel

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Hi,

You know your situation best and only you know what would ultimately be right for you, so your reading may be correct with your own insight you had. My question is, is there a reason for the silence? What is the reason? And can you end the silence in a positive way? You don't have to answer.

I think 26- just describes the silence "big restraint". But 26 advises not to eat alone. Have dinner with your love?

Line 3- are the two of you running to catch each other? It advises something in the relationship needs to be worked on, or perhaps you have something to work on within yourself, preparation needs to be done. If
not...

41- the relationship will continue to diminish. If it changes to 41, you will need to make some sacrifices, I don't know what kind of sacrifices,
maybe you know? Give more time maybe?
More passion? More feeling?

There are so many ways to interpret any one reading according to your situation, maybe someone else will have another perspective that you will find helpful.

Blue_Angel
 

ginnie

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I see the maintenance of silence as being the context. The relating hexagram, 41, points out a lessening of involvement, and that is the context of the question.

Line 26.3 is interesting and it points to a relationship in which you have to exercise yourself in methods of self-defense against the other, maybe because they are capable of hurting you inadvertently or through carelessness or thoughtlessness. It's a line that says you have to be on your toes. Perhaps the other one is someone who goes along with the crowd too easily (a conformist), and you need to be aware of that.
 

capri

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I am a novice in readings my take is that i agree with blue_angel since i think this says to overcome
The restraint, eat out ...looks like both parties
Are chasing the same things :)

Doing this will decrease the silence in the relationship
 

Magnus

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Eating out would be a nice thing to do. The relationship is so far online, and we're not that close in proximity to one another, so eating out sounds a bit of a reach to have happen at this point. Her life has been hectic the last month, but she makes a point of trying to talk to me when she can. I try and be as honest as possible too, when I feel things I try to say them and she seems to appreciate it as her behavior responds in such a way that I feel she's heard and understood. For example, if I say I feel we're distant, she seems to make a point of trying to make more contact or opportunities to be in contact more regularly with each other. I'm not sure if this relates to the hexagram or not. But talking to her today I felt like holding back as I have done sometimes didn't seem right, and the way she responded suggested it was OK to open up about things I previously hadn't done for her own happiness sake. She's kind of seeing a guy that's living near her, but also wants to meet me so when we can work it out she wants us to meet, I'm not sure what that would mean for the other guy, but I feel like there's more excitement at the idea of meeting/being around me than with the other guy. It's a sense I have, based on how she puts so much effort into keeping communication going especially when I suggest there's less of it happening between us.
 
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blue_angel

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Hi,

I'm trying to understand here. So what you are saying, is there isn't really silence? You do communicate? When you write her she responds but you are doing most of the initiating? And... she's told you she's seeing another guy? This could change your reading for you completely.
 

Magnus

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There is silence some nights, like she'll be online and not reply if I say hi (she has a lot of homework often on week nights), I wouldn't say I initiate mostly, because I only comment once in awhile if things seem distant, and she responds by being online more and she isn't afraid to say hi first if she signs in and I don't say anything which has happened a few times, and a number of times she'll sign in and say hi so fast I wouldn't be able to beat her to saying it first. And yes, she's said she's seeing a guy where she lives.
 

Magnus

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I just asked "what would be the effects of inquiring with her about where she sees things going between us and received hexagram 34 changing line 2. Based on what I'm reading, that sounds like a positive one, like something good could come from such an inquiry, but I'm not sure.
 
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blue_angel

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If I were you I would just ask, regardless of the translation, at least then you will know where you stand with her.
 

Magnus

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so there's times where the translation doesn't really matter then?
 
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blue_angel

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Hi,

"What would be the effects of inquiring where she see's things going"?

Answer 34.2>55. Correct?

Have you read the sticky on relationship readings? It has a lot of good advice and information. This is only my personal experience and opinion... when it comes to using the Iching, especially for relationships, I feel you have to live the experience. The answers you receive are guidance. You can build an imaginary relationship if you only ask questions and do not actually experience. Ask a question... follow the advice, see how it goes, experience, then when you are unsure of which direction to go in or you find yourself in a rut, not being able to move forward, ask a question. A good question would be "what is the general diagnosis of my relationship with (name)? Or how am I doing in my relationship with (name)? I don't know if I'm explaining myself right. As for your reading, I don't think it gives an outcome or an effect. I think it advises you how to proceed. How to act. I think your reading describes you in 34, maybe you are excited or in a hurry to know if you and her will become an exclusive couple. But line 2 I feel says find out what you need to know before you take any action. Moderation. So yes ask her and that will be good because then you will know. 55 although you are in a state of abundance, has also been described as a state of worrying too much. There are so many different ways you can fit a translation with any given situation. Sometimes the best way is live it. Ask her. Where do you see us going? What do you think of us? Or are you going to continue to see this other
guy? Does this other guy know about you? I guess there's no real right or wrong way to question or answer. Its what feels right to "you". The reading should also give you a feeling intuitively. Sorry... that's the most I have.

Blue_Angel
 

Magnus

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Thanks blue_angel! Great insights and opinions!! I agree on the idea of living it or experiencing it as things go on rather than just running to the I Ching for everything, even if I don't live it as I should sometimes. I'm in a place in life right now where knowing the outcome of any aspect of my life feels like it would be better than not knowing any of it as it feels is the case at this moment. I have an intuitive feeling of where things are with her, but asking and bringing it out in the open would always be better than just guessing and leaving things up in the air. I know she seems like the kind of girl that would let a guy ask things, let the guy lead so to speak. So it'd be my job to pose the right questions, as you're saying I should do based on your interpretations and personal opinions, so I suppose that's simply what will have to happen. There has to be some kind of direction given, and me leaving things going whereever they're going to go without drawing out answers doesn't solve anything really.
 

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