Hexagram 36

[Lodestar]

I left a long term relationship last year. I had one romantic encounter since but immediately stopped it as he was very pushy and it reminded me of another relationship I had had previously. I have been doing a lot of work on myself changing old patterns during and since my relationship.

I asked the oracle 'have I changed enough now to start a new relationship that does not repeat old patterns'?

I am confused by the answer as one of my main flaws is hiding my light under a bushel and playing myself down.. I have repeatedly watched myself in dismay compulsively undermining myself and therby attracting all the wrong things. I have been making a major effort to step up and allow myself and my accomplishments be seen.

However from hex 36.. It seems to be advising me to hide.. I'm confused!!

 

[precision grace]

I think the answer was - no you haven't changed enough, you are still hiding. I feel it as well from your entire post. Why don't you want to be seen? I mean, are you just shy or is it more a self preservation thing that ran too long and turned into a habit?

 

[mirian]

Dear lodestar,

I agree with precision grace. My experience with Hex 36 is that hiding is not an option. I went through a phase years ago with loads of 36 I think that there are still aspects of your life and yourself that need coming into light. :bows:

 

[rosada]

I don't think it is advising you to hide - you didn't ask what you should do and while sometimes the I Ching does give us answers to questions before we ask them in this case I think the I Ching is responding to your query, "Have I changed enough to start a relationship that does not repeat the old pattern?" by describing what your old pattern has been so you can understand it more clearly and thus see how it has helped you - perhaps so you can evolve and grow from your past rather than just cutting yourself off from it. 36. Darkening of the light tells us there are times when one needs to hide their light and how to behave in such times.
Because the answers i get from the I Ching are often mirrors of the present rather than predictions for the future I tend to word my inquires along the lines of "What am I doing right..?" You might ask the I Ching something like, "What am I doing now that is leading to better relationships?" Focus on the positive!

Rosada
p.s. "Yes -No" questions are hard to interpret.

 

[rosada]

36. might also be read as advice on how to not attract the attention of the wrong sort of people.

 

[newlife123]

Yes you do need to hide. You need to hide your thoughts and your feelings. Your thoughts turn to words and words turn to action. Action turns to habits and its your habits that create the patterns.
.
So hide your feeling sand let things take their course without interruption and see what this teaches you.

 

[Lodestar]

Dear all, thankyou for your excellent answers. Most helpful. :bows:

 

[bradford]

It can be just as much about conserving your energy, or pacing yourself -
regarding yourself as in this for the long term. Maybe its a more conservative
approach to romance, but you seem to have learned some new things.

 

[meng]

I left a long term relationship last year. I had one romantic encounter since but immediately stopped it as he was very pushy and it reminded me of another relationship I had had previously. I have been doing a lot of work on myself changing old patterns during and since my relationship.

I asked the oracle 'have I changed enough now to start a new relationship that does not repeat old patterns'?

I am confused by the answer as one of my main flaws is hiding my light under a bushel and playing myself down.. I have repeatedly watched myself in dismay compulsively undermining myself and therby attracting all the wrong things. I have been making a major effort to step up and allow myself and my accomplishments be seen.

However from hex 36.. It seems to be advising me to hide.. I'm confused!!

Some of my best active and social moments have occurred during times of 36. I used to wonder why, as it seemed a contradiction. There's another peculiar statement, written a couple thousand years ago, which says "When I am weak, then am I strong." Or more to the point, when the outside isn't impressive, the inside shines all the brighter, but few see it. However, ones actions are more potent when it comes from that inner fire, without fuss or self aggrandizement.

 

[rodaki]

that's the kind of reading that makes me think this Yi-thing works .. You mention how hiding your light has often caused you trouble and upon asking whether you've come far enough, Yi, like a wise mirror, shows you what you need to look at . . 36 it is then, and it must be, imo, in this case, in both good and bad aspects . . perhaps Yi wants you to de-mystify it, see it as one more of the ways we have to exist in difficult times - sometimes, the deeper we understand it, the closer we get to reaching its other side, like walking thru a tunnel and out into the light again - so why not take a second and third look at that 36 and stop seeing it as the enemy? Plenty of great images offered for that already in your thread


There's another way that I think 36 could be working in this case, ie it could be saying that your relating issues are lying dormant as long as you shy away from relationships - that's one thing I've learnt from experience, that no matter how much we do the 'work' on our own, meeting another is always a whole different story . . it's not a bad thing though, just one more chance for your 36-side to stop feeling guilty for being there

 

[ginnie]

Well, when it comes to changing ourselves, we can hope for some progress in the direction we desire, but we really cannot transform ourselves into an entirely different sort of person. We are fated to be the person we are. I think hex 36 unchanging is pointing this out. As R.L. Wing says of hex 36 unchanging, "It is a part of your fate to be in the limited position in which you find yourself. The Chinese regard acceptance of fate as one of the great virtues." I will add that Westerners regard fate as an abomination and we will do just about anything in our power to escape it.

 

[Lodestar]

Just looking up 36 and I was reading this post and I realised it was mine! Weird..
So I decided to ask the same question out of interest - it's now a year later...And I got another 36!!
I feel different, I feel so much more confident and more true to myself.. But Is this casting reflecting that?

I asked have I grown now in a way that will allow me to attract a better type of relationship? I got 36.5 - 63

 

[bradford]

It's safe to come out now.

 

[Lodestar]

Not sure are you're making fun of me? ..or is that in the reading?
:hide:

 

[bradford]

It's in the reading.

 

[Liselle]

Just looking up 36 and I was reading this post and I realised it was mine!

That's so funny . Thanks for updating.

Once or twice when I've gotten 36.5, what I think it meant was that what I was doing, or proposing to do, might seem nutty to other people but actually was not, and therefore I should do it. My reason for asking was because I was really concerned about appearing to have taken leave of my senses, because that would harm relationships with family members. In one of the cases, I ended up being pleasantly surprised that the other person in question didn't think it was nutty - she ended up being supportive.

As I understand it from Wilhelm, the story behind 36.5 is that Prince Ji pretended to be crazy as a self-preservation tactic - he couldn't actively oppose the existing regime, but he couldn't abide actively supporting them, either. So he did neither - he pretended to be insane and in that way took himself off the hook. He didn't compromise his principles, but he didn't become a martyr to them, either. (I think it turned out okay for him in the end? Wilhelm doesn't say, but I think I read it somewhere.) The point being that how Prince Ji appeared to be wasn't the way he actually was.

So in your case, what 36.5 might mean is that you really have changed inside, regardless of how you might appear, or whether your inner change is recognized by other people. OR, maybe you've always been okay inside, but you're now better able to express what's always been there. I think what you wrote a year ago is notable - you recognized very quickly that a relationship wasn't going to be good for you, and ended it. You're unlikely to have those sorts of problems anymore.

I do agree with what Ginnie wrote, though:

Well, when it comes to changing ourselves, we can hope for some progress in the direction we desire, but we really cannot transform ourselves into an entirely different sort of person.

That certainly doesn't mean we can't learn and become wiser, whether through conscious effort or just experience, but there are limits to how much we can change our basic nature. Maybe what the reading says is that your basic nature is fine, and (as Bradford said), it's okay to show it.

It's also possible that the original 36 unchanging reading meant that hiding won't help and/or isn't necessary. Unchanging hexagrams are very tricky to understand sometimes. But 36uc might have meant if you hid, it would be for the sake of hiding - it wouldn't relate to anything (no relating hexagram), and wouldn't "change" anything ("unchanging" - get it? haha). I'm speculating, though. But I agree that 36.5 > 63 is an encouraging reading. (By the way, 63 as the background could mean something that is completed, which is also nice to hear in this case, I think.)

 

[bradford]

(I think it turned out okay for him in the end? Wilhelm doesn't say, but I think I read it somewhere.)

I think he did OK, but he wasn't particularly fond of the new Zhou regime either.

 

[Lodestar]

Thanks all.

Hi Lisa, thanks for your detailed response. I feel I am finally much more aware of the need to interact on different levels with different people, and that if I'm totally 'genuine and honest' some people will just chew me up..

I feel the reading is telling me that I'm finally learning the lesson of interacting in a conscious way and is a way that is safer for me.. ie choose wisely

In fact only the previous night I had a conversation with a very arrogant person, afterwards I was furious at myself for not being more direct with them and for not pointing out their utter lack of knowledge, I judged myself as allowing idiots free reign - as instead I had played the fool. Initially I had given detailed and sensitive answers to their questions but then saw this was completely lost on them, so I then feigned being more drunk than I was just unentangled myself from them that way!

A reading I've found for 36.5 totally summed up the situation 'in the presence of arrogance a wise man plays the fool' - so I realise perhaps I had taken the best course of action after all!

Musings... I think 'Brightness Hidden' has helped me survive in life - maybe I'm getting to the point now where I am more realistic about people, not so religiously programmed to be over-generous and kind - maybe I won't need to hide my light because I am finally safe through being properly connected to my intuition. I will be able to walk amidst the madness and power hunger of others and keep myself intact.

Bradford, I guess even if he didn't like the new regime it was an improvement on the old..

 

[Liselle]

A reading I've found for 36.5 totally summed up the situation 'in the presence of arrogance a wise man plays the fool' - so I realise perhaps I had taken the best course of action after all!

That does sound perfect! Did you find that here on Clarity somewhere? (Could you link to it? )

I think I understand what you're saying - how 36.5 can describe tailoring your interactions with people to the requirements of specific situations you find yourself in, handling different people in different ways, and so forth. There is such a thing as being too honest with people. I love your story about handling the arrogant people by feigning drunkenness - that was clever!

I'm actually sorry I went into all that detail now, because I can see that it was off base! I think I see what you're saying about "Brightness Hidden," and how you've figured out how to incorporate it intuitively into your daily life - I'm going to try to remember that myself. Thank you for your insight.

 

[Lodestar]

http://www.jamesdekorne.com/GBCh/hex36.htm

Hi Lisa here it is, it's in the notes and paraphrases for the judgement..
Don't be sorry! I appreciate your responses :bows:

More musings..
I think the concept of 'light' is interesting. The fact it needs protecting could be that it's still coming into being, like a butterfly in a cocoon, a stage of development.

Or just that the energy is beautiful and refined and therefore it would be foolish to throw pearls before swine, or expose a beauty or love to forces that would seek to destroy it..

Then in relation to the world - expectation - to not expect others to 'receive' you as they are busy with their own agendas..

I once read about fox as an animal spirit guide, who I had strong connections with - that people with fox spirit have often had difficult childhoods and used 'invisibility' as a form of protection and that later as adults they struggle to be seen and need to learn how to change this energetic protection when it ceases to serve them.