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Hexagram 4 changing in hexagram 24

urbansugar

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Hello there how are you?
I need your help.
I asked a question about what is my best
Approach with Luca right now. I got hexagram 4 ( not knowing) changing in hexagram 24 (returning)
My interpretation is that I should seek for answer right now but just go with the flow, without anxiety. Focus on myself and my life while staying in the unknown.
Could you help, please? Thank you
 
D

diamanda

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Hi urbansugar,

Your best approach to Luca: 4.1.2.6 > 24
Stop trying to restrict him and admonish him. Accept his immaturity. And defend yourself every time his stupidities are harming you. And finally, pretend you don't care much, that you're super easy-going.
 

rosada

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Hexagram 4 describes someone very new to a situation so whether your friend is young or old recognize that all this is very new to them. Maybe you have only known each other for a short time or maybe one or both of you have little or limited experience with relationships.
The individual lines give further insight:
4.1 One or both of you has been holding back, maybe wanting more guarantees before getting closer. No more is to be learned now holding back and studying the situation. It's time to take a risk.
4.2 This is a very positive line reassuring you that you have enough social skills to be able to interact with this person without going too far out on a limb. (Perhaps straighten ties with co-workers or other friends around you at this time so if you say hello to Luca it won't stand out). Be yourself.
4.6 Do not let this interest distract you from your primal purpose. Rather let it inspire you.
24. Return. Going back to where we felt clear and confident. Have you felt you've already gone too far out with this friendship? Maybe advice to pull back, let there be some space between you, like maybe you need to be able to have a fresh start.

Another possibility could be this attraction is a Return for you to repeat an old pattern. Does this situation remind you of similar situations you've been through in the past? How did they work out? Do you wish you'd done something differently? Now's your chance!

There seems to be an emphasis on holding back in these hexagrams. I don't know if that is you being overly reserved or maybe the situation requires holding back now but there seems to be some frustration or limitations around this. I'm not sure if it's coming from you or the situation itself. Anyway, it does appear that there is something happening here - be alert to energy pulses between you - yet at the same time don't get distracted from completing your real world concrete obligations, don't become obsessed!
 
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urbansugar

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Hi urbansugar,

Your best approach to Luca: 4.1.2.6 > 24
Stop trying to restrict him and admonish him. Accept his immaturity. And defend yourself every time his stupidities are harming you. And finally, pretend you don't care much, that you're super easy-going.

Thank you so much. Yes he tends to be a bit hurtful when we get too close...
 

urbansugar

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Hexagram 4 describes someone very new to a situation so whether your friend is young or old recognize that all this is very new to them. Maybe you have only known each other for a short time or maybe one or both of you have little or limited experience with relationships.
The individual lines give further insight:
4.1 One or both of you has been holding back, maybe wanting more guarantees before getting closer. No more is to be learned now holding back and studying the situation. It's time to take a risk.
4.2 This is a very positive line reassuring you that you have enough social skills to be able to interact with this person without going too far out on a limb. (Perhaps straighten ties with co-workers or other friends around you at this time so if you say hello to Luca it won't stand out). Be yourself.
4.6 Do not let this interest distract you from your primal purpose. Rather let it inspire you.
24. Return. Going back to where we felt clear and confident. Have you felt you've already gone too far out with this friendship? Maybe advice to pull back, let there be some space between you, like maybe you need to be able to have a fresh start.

Another possibility could be this attraction is a Return for you to repeat an old pattern. Does this situation remind you of similar situations you've been through in the past? How did they work out? Do you wish you'd done something differently? Now's your chance!

There seems to be an emphasis on holding back in these hexagrams. I don't know if that is you being overly reserved or maybe the situation requires holding back now but there seems to be some frustration or limitations around this. I'm not sure if it's coming from you or the situation itself. Anyway, it does appear that there is something happening here - be alert to energy pulses between you - yet at the same time don't get distracted from completing your real world concrete obligations, don't become obsessed!
Hello there, thank you so much. We have been dating since last June, and we kept it casual as I was just moving back to Italy from San Francisco after living there for 8 years. Then this January I started a new consulting job in Milano where I have to be there 3 times a week and the rest of the week I am south where Luca lives. I feel I am his girlfriend right now and I would like to tell him, although he keeps saying we are “friends” we act as a couple... I don’t know if should I wait a bit to tell him or go for it. He doesn’t like me be in Milano but it’s just for 3 days a week and money is good .
 

rosada

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Ah! More clues....
Well, with these additional facts I'm seeing new ways to look at these lines...(and I'm just playing around with this, others may see things differently!)
I pay a lot of attention to the sequence to understand the hexagrams. Consider
hexagram 1 as meaning the intention and
hexagram 2 as representing the receptivity to the intention or the response and
hexagram 3 as the confusion that first manifests when new ideas are introduced and it's not quite firm exactly what it all means and so
hexagram 4 we live with the situation a bit to see what we're really dealing with and this state of trying out something new to see what it's all about.
In this case we could say hexagram 1, you have an interest in him, hexagram 2, you aren't sure what his response is, so hexagram 3, you are confused as to what you two really are to each other, friends? friends with benefits? boy friend and girl friend? So now you have to live with the situation like a naive fool till you get more clarity, hexagram 4!

Now considering the lines..
4.1 No more study or planning will give more insight. You just have to get into the game and see what happens. Now this could mean that you should be bold about telling him you'd like to be more than pals, but I don't really think that's a good tactic. I'm inclined to think this line simply means you should continue to date him and keep an open mind, experience this relationship and see where it seems to be heading without you trying to speed things up.
4.2 This is a very positive line for reassuring you that your situation as it is right now - calling the relationship "friends" rather than being "lovers" - is appropriate and comfortable for where you are right now. I wonder if this is a reference to the fact that you like your job and don't want to move to where he is, thus calling your relationship "friends" is more appropriate than calling it "boyfriend and girlfriend" which might impose unreasonable restrictions.
4.6 Says rather than punishing transgressions it is better to remove the opportunity for transgressions. I see this as meaning rather than being frustrated if he wants to treat you as if you are lovers without any commitment, the thing to do is to just stop acting as if you are lovers. Remove the opportunity for this frustration. Don't be saying "I love you". Don't be more intimate with him than you would be with any other friend.

So how to be with Luca?
24. RETURN, back up, to how you were with each other when you truly were just friends. If he wants more then let him realize it and court you. Of course you may come to realize that he actually doesn't want to be more than friends. Hard to take but better to know.
 
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