Hexagram 51 & 43 Infatuation ?

[player1]

Firstly may I thank you for the forum;please forgive my jumping straight-in for advice,it is not something I have done without much pondering and Google(ing). My situation is quite simple,I have recently changed job twice within a year,after my previous job lasted for over 20 yrs - but became intolerable. My new job is very different and not secure yet I feel strong enough not to be overly concerned. I asked i-ching about a young woman I have just started working with,she's much younger than me (a lot) yet she initially showed a lot of interest in me,I enjoyed this attention and our friendship was easily noticed in the small training group we are both members of. She was teased - and it was embarrassing for both of us,in fact I felt like a "dirty old man" (I'm early 40's but look and behave much younger). I decided to let the situation fizzle-out but as corny as it sounds (I'm also aware that long term the relationship is unrealistic) she has woken something up inside me,I felt like I was falling in love,not love,just falling,but a feeling I've not really felt before.

Anyway,I'm very intuitive and have been since about 9 yrs old;I decided to leave the situation - just seemed best. Yet somehow,for some reason I want to contact her again,thus my i-ching which was 51 changing line 3 & 43. I've searched this site and a few others but I'm not sure if this is suggesting I push or retreat - any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again P1

 

[player1]

Sorry just realised this shouldn't have gone here Please move to the right section - thanks

 

[pocossin]

player1, welcome to Clarity! If you cast 51 with the third line changing, then the resulting hexagram should be 55.

☳ ☳
☳ ☲

A convenient way to write this is 51.3 > 55

 

[willowfox]

Yet somehow,for some reason I want to contact her again,thus my i-ching which was 51 changing line 3 & 43.

Can you check your answer again. Was it line 51.3 > 55 or was it 51.2,3,5 > 43?

 

[player1]

Thank you - I did this reading online and it gave 51 (and its description with the 3rd line changing as appropriate). I don't understand why it would list 51 if the true result was 55 ? Obviously I'm not an expert so please forgive my greenness. Hex 43 was listed a the 2nd hex (I forget the exact terminology). Thanks again :O) P1

 

[player1]

Hello again,thanks for your replies,it is really appreciated. I thought I'd try to clarify my reading information. The site I used was hXXp://www.ichingonline.net/ (I wasn't aware this site existed then). I have a book on i-ching by Sam Reifler and I've taken a scan of the page which has the "changing line # 3" which was given by my reading,of course the translation was slightly different but both advised "action" on my part which intuitively I feel should be avoided. As you can see from the website my 43 hex is listed as a transformed hex. I hope this makes it a bit clearer ? Thanks again and sorry for the confusion. P1

Here's the link to the page scan http://yfrog.com/6zkirstyp

 

[willowfox]

Your answer is very simple, it says to go ahead and contact her.

 

[player1]

Thank you, I'll quote what it says in my book:
Karma - A pernicious disruptive force has been causing conflict and many unpleasant moments for you and friend. Because of this selfish, perhaps secret pressure you and friend have not been completely honest with one another. But the impulse is now at its low point. With love and total sincerity you can break its hold on you. The time has come to break your separate defences and communicate frankly to each other - and not only in words - in a mutual effort to overcome the force that threatens your relationship. With honest and resoluteness you can take advantage of this difficult time and begin to establish a selfless,mutually responsive relationship.
As you say Willowfox the solution does seem obvious (in fact it's a bit spooky) yet somehow I feel action right now isn't right,I'm not sure why.
Many thanks once again - I'll hang-out on the board,I'm clearly not an i-ching expert but I'm quite well read in metaphysical - I may be of some use at some point - Blessings to all - Peace. P1

 

[ginnie]

Your first encounters with this young woman threw your whole system upside down!!! You went into free fall . . .

But, for the person receiving this line, action is recommended. We are often urged by the IC to be patient and wait, but in this case, taking vigorous action is called for.

 

[player1]

Thanks Ginnie,having thought about the situation a little longer I think it's fair to say my confusion is based upon not only the my lack of understanding in i-ching but an extremely strong inclination to let the situation naturally dissolve. I'll sleep - then decide. Many thanks once again - P1

 

[willowfox]

having thought about the situation a little longer I think it's fair to say my confusion is based upon not only the my lack of understanding in i-ching but an extremely strong inclination to let the situation naturally dissolve. I'll sleep - then decide. Many thanks once again - P1

You are interested enough in the girl to come here and ask what to do, but seemingly hoping that your answer will let you off the hook but it didn't and instead it said to go for it, say hello, ask her out for a coffee or whatever.

There is no confusion here because you know full well that you want to talk to her again, but because of your "age" you have got a case of the "chicken runs"'.

Your answer was very clear, talk to her, as talking constitutes no formal engagement, it would be just a few minutes to hours talking as people do.

Live before you die.

 

[ginnie]

say hello, ask her out for a coffee or whatever....no formal engagement, it would be just a few minutes to hours talking as people do.

Remember to smile when you say hello to her. Try to be more light-hearted. You don't have to promise her anything.

Smiling and chatting about something will make you feel better.

You could just say hello to her to practice being more sociable. Sounds like you need the practice! I hope I'm not insulting you by saying that, but we all have things we're good at and some things we're not good at.

 

[player1]

Hello again and thank you,I went into work today and felt sick,my stomach is normally very settled,I'm not easily upset or dependent on anyone or anything,my state of mind is at worst neutral. Yet this morning I felt very nervous,I knew something was coming,it was unavoidable. I found it hard to concentrate during training,my mind was else where. I'll summarise what happened - she sits next to me in the training room and I'm normally very distracted by her presence,this morning wasn't any different,I'm captivated by her. I asked her if she'd like to have lunch but she declined. I went for a walk at lunch and used the time to keep my mind a neutral as possible,I did okay. When I returned the room was electric,she had been with a few others to a local pub.Clearly she had mentioned to someone that I'd asked her to go to lunch with me,they were all a little intoxicated and I had become the butt of the joke,I felt betrayed but also used the experience to test my self control. I also questioned my initial judgement and of course my decision to ignore my intuition which is normally pretty good. As the excitement and liquor started to wear off she did speak to me softly and I was again aware of people listening and her motives,I'm currently unable to see too much bad in her,I remained neutral. I think i-ching had suggested action for two reasons - one to put the thing to bed,it's folly and secondly to find someone else. Thanks again - Your help is appreciated - P1

 

[ginnie]

Opposites Attract

Clearly she had mentioned to someone that I'd asked her to go to lunch with me...I had become the butt of the joke

The young lady seems to be lacking good judgment. Funny how sometimes we are attracted to the wrong people.

Your experience must go under the category: Opposites attract.

 

[player1]

Yer,agreed - she's a femme fatale,complete opposite yet I'm drawn to this type,always have been,I make no apologies or excuses. The positives are that I've been able to approach (albeit unsuccessfully) a woman who is very attractive and different (might seem an egotistic statement) and ask her for a date,I'm exceptionally happy to have tried,you only regret what you don't do,in my opinion. Moreover,I've learnt a little secret,hard to translate/explain but it goes something like this (and I had to got thru this experience to really get it). Okay,I was caught up in desire (quite strong,intense) but my intention was equally met with the possibility of failure,in short my desire was too focused on one outcome,it wasn't generalised and came with a price,the price was stronger than the reward. I hope that makes sense :O) So now instead I think "it would be okay to be with a beautiful woman",I'm relaxed about it,the price is no longer opposing my intention.Thanks again - p1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yATtdheYPzg

 

[kinglylife1]

I must interject...

I take strong issue with anyone who says to go ahead and contact this young lady. This is a situation where you will have to have a strong moral will because you are being aroused on the level of your conditioned responses to such stimulus. I'd ask you some questions first. Do you find yourself easily swept along by such arousal? 51 talks about different types of fear and how we respond to it. Before we go into how one should respond to fear, we need to address what is the source of the fear, which is exactly what 3 of the lines in the hexagram address. Before I go on, the I Ching is for the Superior Man. The superior man is one who takes a reading and does more than just mull it over in the mind. Our logical conclusions don't necessarily link us with truth. Logical doesn't necessarily mean true. It's just logical. It doesn't help us much that the most commonly used I Ching transcripts are poorly written as the authors didn't have the foggiest ideas of the derivation of the system and how the wisdom faculty within man's being works. Remember, it is a system of divination, meaning that we must intuit the answers and there's only one way to do that which is through meditation. In fact, it takes many years of meditating and contemplating on each reading before you can really grasp the meaning of these hexagrams. Let me go on into the hexagram now.

If you are looking at the W&B, it clearly states "Thus in trembling and fear, the superior man sets hislife in order and examines himself." That is poetic on one hand, but fairly to the point on the other. In the third line, we are dealing with shock at the level of the heart chakra. The line says "If shock spurs one to action, one remains free of misfortune." Let's look at it practically based on your initial explaination of the situation. You are at a fairly new job. By the way, have you engaged in a relationship at work before? If so, could something you experienced in your past work relationship be tugging at you from inside of yourself in the form of the God within you trying to alert you to something that you need to be very mindful of? The shock of heaven is the manifestation of divine power, a deity within your heart. The shock of the heart, which the 3rd line is dealing with, is talking about your emotional conditioning. We have to understand that all emotional conditioning is really the manifestation of an aspect of God within ourselves that needs to be brought into balance. We need discipline to do this.

This line is so dangerous to you at this juncture. It says "the individual overlooks all opportunities for action and mutely lets fate take its course. But if he allows the shocks of fate to induce movement within his mind, he will overcome these external blows (the arousal from the young lady) with little effort." In other words, movement means to STOP GIVING INTO YOUR EMOTIONAL AND SENSUAL CONDITIONINGS. Didn't mean to yell, but I needed you to grasp that before you do something that you will regret. The fear in your gut is a healthy fear. It is the fear that God placed there as a way of alerting you to impending danger. Boss man, don't lose your job over this fine lil thang. You will certainly regret having indulged when you should have disengaged from your emotions. Some people have all kinds of ways of rationalizing their conditionings. You are using the I Ching so you are receiving divine instruction. Don't let it go to waste. Use these readings, coupled with meditation to transform yourself. You don't have to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Don't be upset that you can't delight in her. It will only lead to misfortune. Using free will means having to delay gratification sometimes. You know that you can find a more appropriate situation.

 

[willowfox]

I take strong issue with anyone who says to go ahead and contact this young lady.

Do you really because I for one said that he needed to do it, get it out in the open, going by the answer that he received.

Get off your horse and learn to walk.

 

[willowfox]

It doesn't help us much that the most commonly used I Ching transcripts are poorly written as the authors didn't have the foggiest ideas of the derivation of the system and how the wisdom faculty within man's being works. Remember, it is a system of divination, meaning that we must intuit the answers and there's only one way to do that which is through meditation. In fact, it takes many years of meditating and contemplating on each reading before you can really grasp the meaning of these hexagrams.

Which transcripts are poorly written in your personal estimation? Wilhelm's, Balkin's, Lynn's?

Are you proposing that everyone should sit down and think about their readings for 2 or 3 years before acting?

 

[willowfox]

You are using the I Ching so you are receiving divine instruction. Don't let it go to waste. Use these readings, coupled with meditation to transform yourself. You don't have to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Don't be upset that you can't delight in her. It will only lead to misfortune. Using free will means having to delay gratification sometimes. You know that you can find a more appropriate situation.

Divine instruction? I really don't think so but you seem to be another christain clone, so your thoughts that god(whatever that's supposed to be) is guiding the coins so to speak is applicable here.

Player did as he is was advised to do, talk to her, and in doing so, two things happened. First he got that "loving" feeling out of his system, and secondly he saw that she was playing games.

Its finished. The IC was spot on in its advice because if he didn't go through the process then he would always be wondering what if.

Your advice would have simply left him in limbo land.

 

[willowfox]

It is the fear that God placed there as a way of alerting you to impending danger.

god or just plain old everyday "intuition"?

And who is this "god" you keep referring to, the christian sky god, or some Chinese god or other, as there were and still are, a lot of them flying about the in the Chinese "heavens"?

 

[player1]

Gosh ! Lots to take in :O) Thanks again firstly,can I just say that my response to this situation wasn't conditioned,at least not in the way I think Kinglylife is suggesting. My attraction to this woman was rather complex;we have spoken about what's happened and we are both kool about the situation now,I'm not desperately hanging-on to a blind hope that she'll suddenly change her mind,it's over and done. As I said before I'm glad it happened,it was unavoidable,at some point in time space this was going to happen,period.I'm all the better for it.
I always find it confusing when people argue about spiritual matters,we can't know what god is to my mind,we can only say what it/he/she is not. All we have are pointers or signposts all of which must ultimately be the same. Also I'm not sure why some people have a problem with the concept of god,it seems to me that those that argue against it are even more dogmatic.I like what Carl Jung said when asked if he believed in god - "I don't believe,I know".
Anyway thanks to all of you,I'm very grateful for you kind advice. Peace :O)

 

[ginnie]

I like what Carl Jung said when asked if he believed in god - "I don't believe,I know".

Thanks for the quote, Player1. And thank you also for the wonderful music video above. I enjoyed it a lot!

 

[player1]

Just to draw this thread to a close I'd like to once again thank everyone for taking the time to comment. The last two weeks of my life have been very strange,I started a new job in financial services after spending the last 20 years in automotive,most if not all my social status (whatever that is) was gone,the people who tell me what to do are half my age,and often delight in the fact. However, it was my choice to leave my last job and its relative comfort zone. Time has slowed down,the last 16 days or so honestly feel like months,the fabric of reality is falling apart,the illusion is becoming transparent. I know the concept of god isn't universally welcomed yet I feel compelled to tell you about something that happened to me during training. My job is in a call centre for a large bank,as part of the training we were placed with existing agents and hooked-up to their phones to just listen in to their calls. I was placed with a young woman (not the girl I spoke of,she's also a trainee) of about 30 yrs,she's been there sometime,about 5yrs. I was with her for two hours and in that time as strange as this sounds,I witnessed something that's hard to describe,I've worked in customer services all my life,I've worked with all types of people and all types of customer,yet this woman tucked away in obscurity,dealing with mundane everyday problems,was somehow out of place,her compassion and attention was at a different level,I can't explain,so won't try. Considering that there's over 300 agents on the floor and that I don't believe in coincidences,my positioning with her wasn't chance (I'm also the 1st trainee she's ever been sat with). This is where I sound like I've lost it ! I saw in this angelic telephone agent the unfolding of what I perceive as god,something is happening to me,of which I'm not sure,I'm taking in energy from things and people,I've no words to give the experience credibility,I'm not concerned,I'm sure it's real.
As for the "fine lil thang" as she was previously refereed to :O) I won't go into much detail for fear of perhaps giving away her identity,given I've expanded the scenario somewhat. My understanding of psychology is currently at an academically low level but I'm reasonably well read and coupled with a strong intuition I'm able to give quite a good "pop-psychology" take on her. Father was missing and possibly abusive (not sure) and step-father isn't highly regarded. Long history of alpha male boyfriends - none of which remained faithful or provided support/love.
We have formed a secure friendship. Anyway - thanks again. P1

 

[ginnie]

I was placed with a young woman of about 30 yrs,she's been there sometime,about 5yrs. I was with her for two hours and in that time as strange as this sounds,I witnessed something that's hard to describe,I've worked in customer services all my life,I've worked with all types of people and all types of customer,yet this woman tucked away in obscurity,dealing with mundane everyday problems,was somehow out of place,her compassion and attention was at a different level,I can't explain,so won't try. ... I saw in this angelic telephone agent the unfolding of what I perceive as god,something is happening to me,of which I'm not sure,I'm taking in energy from things and people,I've no words to give the experience credibility,I'm not concerned,I'm sure it's real.

She's a channel of blessings from a higher plane into this mundane plane. And why shouldn't she be? It's also this IC situation: 11.2 > 36. People are always wondering about that line, but that's part of what it is.

Thank you for your interesting post, player1. You are such a flowing writer.

 

[player1]

Thanks Ginnie,I enjoy writing very much. My I ask one more question ? Because of my now previous infatuation with this girl I decided to go and watch England play after work a couple of weeks ago,it was the Algeria game. Anyway I had a drink,not much but enough to warrant leaving my car at work over night. In the morning I caught the bus in,as I was standing at the bus stop I noticed a young woman wearing the same company id as me,so I asked her what bus I needed,we spoke a little about work and continued to chat on the bus until we arrived. For a little while after I went back to driving but then decided (not because of her) to take the bus everyday in the morning and walk home about 4 miles,to save money and I like walking. Anyway I've started talking to this woman and she's (again) loads younger than me and very pretty,at first I thought she was being friendly but now I'm not sure,I think she likes me. So yer you guessed it I i-chinged ! Here's what I got :
http://yfrog.com/cc47691444p
http://yfrog.com/6f91653124p
http://yfrog.com/2m14591055p
What do you think ? P1 Thank you :O)

 

[ginnie]

14.4.5>9

Player1,

We would notate Yi's response to your question this way: 14.4.5 > 9.

By the way, what exact question did you ask?

 

[player1]

Thank you,I showed the screen shots as last time I caused some confusion. This will be my last reading for a few months now,I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to ask i-ching a question again,I normally don't ask with such frequency but because of what happened I'm tending to feel that fate has pushed me onto the number 15 bus,the previous girl I spoke of may have been a catalyst,or perhaps I'm reading the situation wrongly. So that's why I asked i-ching if this woman was significant. This morning we were talking on the bus and we arrived at work,she was sat in the seat just in front of me,so filed out ahead of me,I waited for a few people behind me to exit before I made my way along the middle of the bus toward the door. She (I don't know her name,it seems not to matter strangely) was waiting for me on the pavement and we walked into the office. I know this doesn't sound amazing and of course I have a previous record of being ultra sappy,but I can't quite believe this is happening,it feels slightly unreal. Many thanks in advance - p1

 

[ginnie]

She (I don't know her name,it seems not to matter strangely) was waiting for me on the pavement and we walked into the office. I know this doesn't sound amazing

Of course, it's totally amazing, Player1. You've made a good friend!

I'll tell you a little bit about a hex 14 relationship.

First, two warnings: A hex 14 relationship is based on deep affinity, not passionate attachment. Gentleness, goodness, compassion, unselfishness -- these are the qualities associated with H14. This is a well-ordered relationship. It can flower and grow amazingly well.

Second warning: Line 5 moving in H14 advises you not to become too easy-going or casual in your manner. You need firm boundaries; not casual acceptance of 'anything goes.' If you keep up the proper reserved external demeanor, other people will be deterred from imposing on your very good nature.

And since you're both working in the same workplace, that becomes doubly significant! Maybe that's what the H9 is all about. You are restrained by circumstances, so now is the time to refine yourself in terms of externals. How you dress, how you speak, and so forth.

 

[player1]

First, two warnings: A hex 14 relationship is based on deep affinity, not passionate attachment. Gentleness, goodness, compassion, unselfishness -- these are the qualities associated with H14. This is a well-ordered relationship. It can flower and grow amazingly well.



Thanks Ginnie,are you/i-ching suggesting that the relationship is destined to be purely platonic ? If it is - I've misread the situation,badly. Where does abundance fit into this (I'm not being materialistic). Again this reading has confused me,should I push ahead in my current direction or is it the wanting that's the problem,is the abundance in the not wanting,that's how I'm feeling now. Thanks again. D

 

[ginnie]

You're the King!

are you/i-ching suggesting that the relationship is destined to be purely platonic ?

It doesn't mean that the relationship is platonic, but rather that by a stroke of good luck, this young woman has fallen into step with you, attracted by your sincerity and other outstanding qualities.

H14 stands [in my mind] for the wealth you already possess. Your sincerity, your unassuming nature that threatens no one, these may be your greatest possessions.

You might be thinking of wealth in terms of money, but this hexagram is more subtle than that. Remember that the hexagrams of the I Ching were set down before the invention of coinage in China. H14 represents some aspects of abundance that you might be overlooking just at the moment.

The IC says that you have become 'sovereign' in this situation. You're the king! You can do just about anything you want! So, whatever you do, do it carefully and with great thoughtfulness, because she has placed her entire trust in you.

In reality, doesn't it usually take quite some time to get to know another person? Wouldn't you want to be best friends first, before plunging in with both feet? The IC has cautioned you in line 5 to maintain your dignity, your demeanor; not to get too casual right at this time.