Hexagram 51 and my ex

[rosalind]

I have been trying to reconcile with my ex husband and it's been a slow process. he said he needed time and to work things out for himself. one of the things he needed to do was begin counseling before we could really start to talk things over. he called and said he begins counseling next week. I asked what this would mean for us regarding reconciliation and i got hexagram 51 changing to hex 19. seems good to me. but i am new to this. please help me with your interpretation. much appreciated!

 

[mrmorrow]

I see that there is confusion then retreat.line 2 hexigram 51 ensures what has been lost from the situation will return.-line four is unclear thinking.I think the seperation will not be for ever.There is a due return some time this year.

 

[rosalind]

that sounds exactly right. there has been confusion and retreat, then forward progress, then confusion etc... I have over-asked about this situation to the point of getting too many readings and confusing myself. I tend to read into it what i want to see also. I backed off for awhile, and asked this most recent question. thanks for your insight! I am so anxiety ridden over this situation.

 

[rosalind]

I asked a follow up question "with the goal of marriage to X, what should I be doing?" I got 46 changing to 32. I think it means to continue to try for reconciliation. I have been feeling like i should back off, but maybe not. Does anyone have any comments on this? I mean, is this just giving advice relating to my question, or giving me a positive outlook for the outcome?

 

[gene]

One of things being communicated here is that you must let it go. I don't mean by that giving up, looking for someone else, I mean, just let it run its course. An attitude of nonchalance is paramount. The fourth line says that everything is tough and inert. In other words, the circumstances are not providencial for a speedy recovery. Nevertheless, the prognostication over all is good, because hexagram 19 speaks of approach. It is just that you can't do anything at the present time to speed things along. An aloof attiude (and I don't mean total noncommitment, just the appearance of such for the time) allows the other person to come back on their own. Line four just tells you that you cannot do much to help, nor can you just walk away from it. Be there but don't be there, if that makes any sense.

Gene

 

[gene]

I was referring to the original reading in my post directly above.

Gene

 

[rosalind]

thanks. that makes absolute sense and was actually what i already knew. i appreciate your response to my question.

 

[rosalind]

what do you make of the 2nd question?

 

[dobro p]

I asked a follow up question "with the goal of marriage to X, what should I be doing?" I got 46 changing to 32.

What should I be doing? Answer: rising continuously. Keep taking it to a higher level. Leave the lower stuff behind - the pettiness, the ego-centered stuff. Higher level relationship means compassion, magnanimously letting the other be themself ("I love you just the way you are"), and constantly remembering that they are NOT there to make YOU happy.

As for 46.4, the changing line in your draw, it's interesting - it talks about leadership offering something, making a sacrifice, as a necessary part of the 'taking it to a higher level'. Okay, so let's assume you're the leader here, since the oracle's addressing you and you're the one who's wondering how exactly to deal with it. That would seem to indicate that you're supposed to take the lead in the offering/sacrifice. This could be as simple as being the first one to forgive, or the first one to say 'sorry' or the first one to make a gesture or the first one to 'give themself to the other'. Being the first means you're leader, right?

 

[hexagon]

Hexagram 46.4 is about making a sacrifice in order to progress to where you want to be.By taking the high road and offering something of yourself as Dobro put it, you will find success. A little inner work as to what that sacrifice/action is and you will reap the benefit in your relationship.

 

[willowfox]

"with the goal of marriage to X, what should I be doing?" I got 46.4 > 32.

This says that you have nearly achieved your goal and it speaks of adhering to traditions of the past, so whatever served you well in your relationship before carry on in that vein, it suggests keep doing what needs to be done providing of course that it is the right thing that you have being doing.

 

[rosalind]

thanks so much for your insights. i have been the leading this effort and it's interesting about the sacrifice/offering and taking the high road. I have had to choose the high road many times times throughout this process, even when it seemed to deplete me emotionally and it's been worth it. a big lesson for me, as i am totally ruled by spontaneous emotional displays. thanks to all who responded. i read here often and i appreciate your time.