hexagram 51 in family matters

[Anavim]

Hello everyone
This is a topic about familial matter that I currently found myself watching. My Mom and Dad have been in a horrible marriage since I can remember. My mom is a harsh, rude, controlling woman, to say the least. Dad is very meek, passive, taking every blow that comes his way and moving away into passivity more and more. It has always been so painful to watch, I developed anxiety, depression and besides I have ADHD and a very low tolerance for aggression and injustice. Honestly, I have zero understanding towards my mom because she has always been behaving like this, so it's not about me, it's not about my dad, she picks fights, is of course always right and a perpetual victim of problems that are her own making.
But recently, when I got back home again, it's just worse. They are both retired and she spends her every free moment to pick at my dad, insult him, yell at him, she uses such derogatory terms, kills every bit of confidence that he still has left. He's completely passive because of all this, he spends his days and long into the night in front of his laptop, earning money and not speaking a word for the entire day. I stay up almost every night silently and I can hear him getting up to go to toilet and I hear him having diarrhea, which is a huge red flag since he has celiac disease and I'm afraid it developed into something worse because of neglect.
Today I went out and when I returned home, mom told me that he felt ill and they called ambulance, but the vehicle couldn't come because they are working non stop... he recovered, he's fine, but I was prompted to think about "what if".
Sure her behavior is killing him, psychologically and physically. But to confront her would stoke even more flames, and I want him to "wake up". Or should I? Chances are he doesn't want to say jack s* to her, because he would already have said something, she's been impossible to handle and he just doesn't say a word.
Situation is horrible and his health is obviously suffering.
So the only solution I could possibly think of to help him and myself is to convince him with an email to divorce her and send her off somewhere. She's been vocal how she hates living with him, how this marriage brought her "nothing" but is really comfortable using his money and privilege that she has in this marriage. I outlined that if he doesn't divorce her, I would move and never speak to them again. I would go that far to change my name and personal description, to move the f out of here. Some money is coming to me soon if I intercede in one transaction and get my share (which was to go to my parents) and this is one of the options I'm considering. I would have done it long ago, if I managed to graduate (one of the things my Mom is constantly deflecting to my Dad although I blame her and her behavior specifically)

I cast the I Ching with the question: "What do I do about Dad? Should I send him the email with petition to divorce my Mom?"

The result was 51.2. ---> 54.
This thunder erupts from the ground beneath your feet, delivering real danger.
Abandon your belongings and climb to higher ground.
Don't grieve over treasures left behind.
They will return to you in seven days.

Apparently the Yi is on my side here. But not to send the email but to forget about this flat that I was hoping to inherit, forget everything and just GO tf out of here because the situation is just getting worse.
Changing to 54 means that "nothing furthers". He wouldn't listen to me, this is destined to fail and he is also, unfortunately, destined to fail.
Would you agree, is the Yi speaking about not meddling and just, basically, fleeing?

 

[Luise74]

Hello everyone
This is a topic about familial matter that I currently found myself watching. My Mom and Dad have been in a horrible marriage since I can remember. My mom is a harsh, rude, controlling woman, to say the least. Dad is very meek, passive, taking every blow that comes his way and moving away into passivity more and more. It has always been so painful to watch, I developed anxiety, depression and besides I have ADHD and a very low tolerance for aggression and injustice. Honestly, I have zero understanding towards my mom because she has always been behaving like this, so it's not about me, it's not about my dad, she picks fights, is of course always right and a perpetual victim of problems that are her own making.
But recently, when I got back home again, it's just worse. They are both retired and she spends her every free moment to pick at my dad, insult him, yell at him, she uses such derogatory terms, kills every bit of confidence that he still has left. He's completely passive because of all this, he spends his days and long into the night in front of his laptop, earning money and not speaking a word for the entire day. I stay up almost every night silently and I can hear him getting up to go to toilet and I hear him having diarrhea, which is a huge red flag since he has celiac disease and I'm afraid it developed into something worse because of neglect.
Today I went out and when I returned home, mom told me that he felt ill and they called ambulance, but the vehicle couldn't come because they are working non stop... he recovered, he's fine, but I was prompted to think about "what if".
Sure her behavior is killing him, psychologically and physically. But to confront her would stoke even more flames, and I want him to "wake up". Or should I? Chances are he doesn't want to say jack s* to her, because he would already have said something, she's been impossible to handle and he just doesn't say a word.
Situation is horrible and his health is obviously suffering.
So the only solution I could possibly think of to help him and myself is to convince him with an email to divorce her and send her off somewhere. She's been vocal how she hates living with him, how this marriage brought her "nothing" but is really comfortable using his money and privilege that she has in this marriage. I outlined that if he doesn't divorce her, I would move and never speak to them again. I would go that far to change my name and personal description, to move the f out of here. Some money is coming to me soon if I intercede in one transaction and get my share (which was to go to my parents) and this is one of the options I'm considering. I would have done it long ago, if I managed to graduate (one of the things my Mom is constantly deflecting to my Dad although I blame her and her behavior specifically)

I cast the I Ching with the question: "What do I do about Dad? Should I send him the email with petition to divorce my Mom?"

The result was 51.2. ---> 54.
This thunder erupts from the ground beneath your feet, delivering real danger.
Abandon your belongings and climb to higher ground.
Don't grieve over treasures left behind.
They will return to you in seven days.

Apparently the Yi is on my side here. But not to send the email but to forget about this flat that I was hoping to inherit, forget everything and just GO tf out of here because the situation is just getting worse.
Changing to 54 means that "nothing furthers". He wouldn't listen to me, this is destined to fail and he is also, unfortunately, destined to fail.
Would you agree, is the Yi speaking about not meddling and just, basically, fleeing?

Hello, sorry to hear about your family problem. It is 51 shocking for me, following my first feeling I ching tells you not to interfere as you are in a position of the 54 younger sister, not the main wife. I might be wrong but I imagine your Mom would be very very angry if she knew about your plans. You do not mention your age.
Better keep away from your parents marriage.
Good luck, Good night.

 

[Anavim]

I am 28 years old. Yes, the Yi is telling me to stay away from their marriage. But this advice - "abandon your belongings and climb to higher ground". about what I really want to do. As if, just to pack up and leave wherever.

 

[diamant]

What do I do about Dad? Should I send him the email with petition to divorce my Mom? 51.2 > 54
I agree, not a good idea to do this.
You wouldn't only lose the flat, but much more. 'Do not pursue'.

Your poor dad, she's got him totally subdued and broken.
In my experience, this type of mother hardly ever leaves inheritance to her children - and if she does, it will somehow be so twisted that you'll wish she hadn't.

 

[Anavim]

I just hope his health isn't really bad, and even if it was, I couldn't move a finger because it's all up to him, and he obviously doesn't want help.

 

[BaronAsh]

Looks like you will get that money if you intercede (the in 7 days one), but also that you should get out of there, make a move (double Thunder and Thunder = movement, especially new beginnings type movement).

Btw, your making a move might effect your father in a good way, though it does seem that trying to interfere would not be a good thing.

The 54 might refer to yourself but it also might refer to your mother who is clearly an unhelpful wife and thus not promoting harmony and health in the family. She might have her own side in this of course which you are unaware of, but clearly harmony is not something she is bringing to the table! Put another way: they are not suited to each other.

(Maybe your father withholds so much communication verbally that it's coming out the other end!)

This is a personal note, but I don't think an email is appropriate. You could go for a walk with him and open your heart and tell him how you feel. He can do with such tender communication as he wishes, but I don't think email is a correct medium for such deeply personal stuff.

Another interpretation more directly in line with your question which was specifically about sending that email or not to your Dad:

The letter might shock him into leaving as you suggest. It could be traumatic and disrupt his income-generating activities etc. but only for a while. He is in a situation with an unsuitable #54 partner so your email might shake him up enough to make the needed break.

 

[Anavim]

Looks like you will get that money if you intercede (the in 7 days one), but also that you should get out of there, make a move (double Thunder and Thunder = movement, especially new beginnings type movement).

Btw, your making a move might effect your father in a good way, though it does seem that trying to interfere would not be a good thing.

The 54 might refer to yourself but it also might refer to your mother who is clearly an unhelpful wife and thus not promoting harmony and health in the family. She might have her own side in this of course which you are unaware of, but clearly harmony is not something she is bringing to the table! Put another way: they are not suited to each other.

(Maybe your father withholds so much communication verbally that it's coming out the other end!)

This is a personal note, but I don't think an email is appropriate. You could go for a walk with him and open your heart and tell him how you feel. He can do with such tender communication as he wishes, but I don't think email is a correct medium for such deeply personal stuff.

Another interpretation more directly in line with your question which was specifically about sending that email or not to your Dad:

The letter might shock him into leaving as you suggest. It could be traumatic and disrupt his income-generating activities etc. but only for a while. He is in a situation with an unsuitable #54 partner so your email might shake him up enough to make the needed break.

I would choose email over something more personal because he's a person that has difficulty in communicating. As if he developed some PTSD, very tricky, he's very, very indecisive, doesn't hold any opinions on anything... it's difficult to make him do anything because ever since I've known him, he wouldn't confront anyone so he might perceive it as a confrontation. Also, when something like that happens, I mean, when we do get into some sort of disagreement or he wants to voice his opinions on anything, it hurts me more because I get to see it in high-definition and can't get that trauma out of my system for months at times...
The letter is still in the making, and while I'm writing it, I'm thinking about possible consequences. Perhaps just to get it off my mind for now. Now I'm considering possibilities for moving the f out of here and getting money for that. It would have to be radical. I really just want to excise myself out of this story, identity and trauma they two have inflicted upon me.
Some readings that I did before pointed to that. I received 47.2.3., and this is just like that, a prison that I cannot navigate anymore, I just need to GO because hell might break loose and it can break me very much.
I understood this and the following readings as a clear advice NOT TO SEND that letter. Not to intervene. I asked if I should intervene in any way and received 52 changing to smth.. which was - NO, YOU STAY PUT.

 

[Anavim]

I made another reading - about where should I precisely. I have a couple of ideas, but for now, I inquired about moving to Vienna, because I have a lot of relatives there whom I love a lot.
The result was 14.4. --->26, and I believe this is a huge encouragement. Changing line says "It's not for you to dominate. No mistake". of course I don't understand. But 14-26 seems pretty optimistic.
"reaching out to people in harmony means beings truly return home, and so Great Possession follows."
My extended family is amazing and pretty harmonious.
plus, hex 26 says "not eating at home brings good fortune. fruitful to cross the great river". Definitely not staying here. Just calling my aunt or grandma and checking in, that is all.

 

[diamant]

Line 14.4 I think is telling you to keep it secret for now. So if you speak with your relatives, ask them to not tell your parents (at least for now).

 

[becalm]

Just go. Set yourself up then you've got somewhere stable for him to be. Then ask the questions again.

 

[Anavim]

Line 14.4 I think is telling you to keep it secret for now. So if you speak with your relatives, ask them to not tell your parents (at least for now).

I was thinking to not tell anyone. Not even to my friends. Just to get the money, resolve some bureaucracy here and get out. Sure with this divination it can't be a bad thing to do.

 

[Anavim]

Hexagram 26:

1 . A deer and a horse . This means something very gratifying and 1 . satisfactory . 2 . A document lighted by the moon . This means to pass an examina - 2 . tion very easily . 3. An official leans upon the railing . Freedom from restraint . 4. The flowers are pushing through the railing. This means a good omen for finding a job, trying to do business or making money .

The image is of a dragon hidden The symbol is that accumulation in a solitary glen . of small particles results in a mountain .

Hexagram 14:
This is a January hexagram ; it is good in spring and winter and bad in summer. 2. Dayou is a qŭihŭn or soul returned hexagram, one Yin Yao govern s five Yang Yaos . 3. A man who has done well at an unimportant job suddenly get s promoted during an emergency to a job that gives full use to all his best abilities . 4. An artist who could think of nothing good to work on suddenl y finds himself full of the most advanced creative impulses .
So, I guess the Yi says I should time my moving/fleeing to January.