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Hexagram 53.1.2.3>61 - "What to do?"

Marsine

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Hello,

I am in a long term, happy relationship, which due to external circumstances (job opportunites, etc.) might need to adapt to new situations which are not yet defined or certain even.

I am unable to move from where we live at the moment, even though I don't plan on living here for longer than a few more years and my partner is on the same page, even though he is more flexible in his movements, i.e. he would be able to travel for work often if needed.

So I find myself personally in a situation where I feel stuck, without a clear direction in life as for personal growth or career wise.

My partner on the other hand has big opportunities opening up for him, which would require him to be away from home a lot of the time.

So while I'm obviously very happy for him and encourage him to pursue this at all costs, it also leaves me wondering how this will affect our relationship.

He is very devoted to us and sees this as an opportunity for us as a couple and family, and is looking at the long term effects of this which he sees as positive: which they very much could be indeed.

Now, nothing is defined or certain yet as if or when or how, things will evolve for his career but he's putting all the prep work in and it looks promising.

To get to my question: I have this lingering feeling of discomfort in my stomach, which I just can't seem to put my finger on, regarding this situation and our relationship and how things will evolve.

I asked "What should I do/How should I act—in this situation" and got hexagram 53.1.2.3>61

I see hexagram 61 as our relationship and 53 as our "marital progress" kind of. The first line seems to talk about communicating fears and worries perhaps and the second line about enjoying oneself in the process but the third one is really ominous: "a husband goes on a journey but does not return", "a wife gets pregnant but does not give birth".

Seems to me like maybe it's saying "Skip the worries, let things unfold by themselves, nothing you can do about it anyways—and by the way it's gonna be bad"

I would be very grateful on any takes on this one 🙏
 

Matali

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Hello,
There are several angles in your post. What to do do ? 53.1.2.3 – 61. Your situation is developing...
You say you feel stuck, without orientation. I think you should look for a job to support your development and fulfillment.
Regarding your partner, you say that he will leave often for his work: you mean that he will have another home?
I saw your other post 57.2 – 53: there is the same line here with 53.2 :unsure:
 
D

diamant

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What should I do/How should I act—in this situation 53.1.2.3 > 61

53.1 says that the young son is dangerous (or: is in danger). It advises to have a talk. The mention of a 'young' son probably emphasises the fact that your husband is still young and inexperienced. A mature person needs to have a talk with an immature one.

If only this line was changing, the result would be 37, so you'd be able to keep your family together. But here comes line 53.2, and hidden line 37.2. Acting as if everything's fine, and the wife stays at home cooking.

This seems to be the point where things go wrong. The next line 53.3 is just no good, especially in a question related to your marriage. From your other post you sound like a driven professional, so why would you agree for a young man to roam free abroad, while you become a stay-at-home wife? If this was my situation and my cast, I wouldn't agree with him to enter that situation.
 

Marsine

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Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it!

So in order to give a little more context: the place we live at is unfortunately a bit of a wasteland, career wise. I am actually a foreigner here, bound by circumstances too complicate to explain here, to stay for a few more years. He on the other hand was born and raised here but has been experiencing heavy (really heavy) setbacks for the past few years when it comes to his career and making a living basically.

Many people around here try to move away to make a decent living.

Having said that, I personally don't believe in long distance relationships and he's very aware of that. In fact he's trying to arrange for things to take place here in our region which would be much better but I'm still having a hard time trying to picture how this would all work out for us.
Being a stay-at-home wife is something I would never want to do in this sense. I'd rather be a single mom but clearly I'm hoping to become neither and I'm torn between what's fair to ask from a partner in this situation. Where is the line between reasonable requests/preferences and obstructing/limiting ones? Hence my question.

If it's of any relevance, I can say that he's actually more than a decade older than me and well into his forties.
 
D

diamant

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What you say makes a lot of sense.
The 'young son' might be pointing to immaturity rather than actual age.

And where's the line - jobs, there's a variety of them, your family, there's only one. So (in my opinion, and in this particular case) it's best not to jeopardise the family for the sake of a job. It's never a good idea to suppress your gut feeling. I really hope you manage to find a good solution to this!
 

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