Hexagram 6 unchanging

[pizzabec]

Hello Everyone!
My 6 yr old son seems to be having problems at school (his behaviour). Teachers and staff are complaining that he is having issues. I have him seeing a psychologist but she has no yet made any assessment. She has hinted towards ADD but not really. One thing she mentioned was that she found him to be highly intelligent.
So, I asked Yi,
What is the cause behind his behavioural problems at school?
It is my understanding that heck 6 is that of conflict and arguing but not sure with who or what...is it internal?

 

[SuperNatural]

First, I'd like to say I'm glad to hear that you are getting professional help and advice for your son. I think this is the right thing to do. Also, the Therapist working on your son's case-history should take the time to speak with you. Believe it or not, your perspective, experiences, and insights on your son, matter. One cannot render a deep thorough diagnosis without your input.

You are correct, Hexagram 6 deals with "Conflict". One type of conflict represented by (6) is someone who is sincere in the sense that they believe they are correct, but they may not be (K'an = Lack of Knowledge & Experience). And, there is opposition to one's ideas.

Hexagram (6) has a complementary relationship with Hexagram 36 (Darkening The Light). In 36, one realizes that the correct thing to do is not to resist regardless of how "right" one thinks he or she may be at the moment. It's not important to be "right" right now. In 36 one learns how to darken their light and maintain their peace. I hope this helps.

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 6 is about how to resolve conflicts and the key advice is that rights and duties need to be agreed upon at the onset. If your kid is bright and therefore possibly finding the lessons boring the problem may be that he's feeling, "I never agreed to this school routine in the first place and why should I now?"
Are you available during the day? Perhaps you could volunteer to help out in the classroom a couple of mornings a week and see what's really going on. Or ask the I Ching what you should do...

 

[Olga Super Star]

Perhaps you could volunteer to help out in the classroom a couple of mornings a week and see what's really going on.

Parents in the classroom?! Really? Is that legal?

 

[Olga Super Star]

Teachers and staff are complaining that he is having issues.

It is my understanding that heck 6 is that of conflict and arguing but not sure with who or what...is it internal?

Hi Pizzabec

I am no psychologist but in my times no-one had ADD and stuff like that, there was 1 child with Down syndrome in the whole school and that was it. I don't think we just started to make problematic children, I think modern society and way of living is problematic.

We were out all day playing on trees and bicycles. When you climb a tree, you learn to pay attention, otherwise you fall. Same for walking on roofs (we did that as well!) or hiding from teachers in the janitor's closet. A breath too loud and you got caught.

Nowadays 1 child out of three has problems of some kind or special needs. Most of the times the problem is just that they are indoors all day in front of screens. They should do things by hands, like baking bread, playing with sands, and running, lots of running about. And playing with other children of course.

Does your child get all of this? Does the school have a big park with trees to run? Do they make them help to lie down the table, put dishes and glasses, and then bring them back to the kitchen when they have finished? I don't know if he eats at school, but he can do that even at home. Instead of calling him for dinner when it's ready, have him prepare it with you. He can get the table ready and then help with food preparation. So he can feel more part of everything and doing things by hands helps controlling rage.

6 UN makes me think he falls into conflicts. Did this also happen in nursery school (kindergarten)? Do you have conflicts at home too or is he used to have it his own way?

My suggestion is that you spend more time with him. Often conflict is done unconsciously to attract parents' attention. He may be feeling he has not your full attention? I don't know your story, maybe you work a lot or have another younger brother that gets most of your time?
Also the teachers should be able to explain what he does. Just blaming his behaviour is not enough. They should explain if he is just angry or screams at other mates, if he is respectful of teachers and so on.

 

[pizzabec]

Hi Pizzabec

I am no psychologist but in my times no-one had ADD and stuff like that, there was 1 child with Down syndrome in the whole school and that was it. I don't think we just started to make problematic children, I think modern society and way of living is problematic.

We were out all day playing on trees and bicycles. When you climb a tree, you learn to pay attention, otherwise you fall. Same for walking on roofs (we did that as well!) or hiding from teachers in the janitor's closet. A breath too loud and you got caught.

Nowadays 1 child out of three has problems of some kind or special needs. Most of the times the problem is just that they are indoors all day in front of screens. They should do things by hands, like baking bread, playing with sands, and running, lots of running about. And playing with other children of course.

Does your child get all of this? Does the school have a big park with trees to run? Do they make them help to lie down the table, put dishes and glasses, and then bring them back to the kitchen when they have finished? I don't know if he eats at school, but he can do that even at home. Instead of calling him for dinner when it's ready, have him prepare it with you. He can get the table ready and then help with food preparation. So he can feel more part of everything and doing things by hands helps controlling rage.

6 UN makes me think he falls into conflicts. Did this also happen in nursery school (kindergarten)? Do you have conflicts at home too or is he used to have it his own way?

My suggestion is that you spend more time with him. Often conflict is done unconsciously to attract parents' attention. He may be feeling he has not your full attention? I don't know your story, maybe you work a lot or have another younger brother that gets most of your time?
Also the teachers should be able to explain what he does. Just blaming his behaviour is not enough. They should explain if he is just angry or screams at other mates, if he is respectful of teachers and so on.

Hi Olga!
From what everyone has said, he is an incredibly polite and loving kid.
He gives his 110% on class but the moment he exits class he goes ballistic. He has stuffed erasers in heaters, flooded bathrooms cut up his uniform...you ask him a question like, how many time does 2 go into 4 and he will say "every time".
I spoke to my own psychologist and she told me that I need to look after my own anger and my husband his. We argue alot. We love each other but we argue.
I will be changing his school next year because it really doesnt feel like the right fit.

 

[Olga Super Star]

From what everyone has said, he is an incredibly polite and loving kid.

Well that's the important thing

He gives his 110% on class but the moment he exits class he goes ballistic. He has stuffed erasers in heaters, flooded bathrooms cut up his uniform...you ask him a question like, how many time does 2 go into 4 and he will say "every time".

Sounds like an explorer!
Was he out of "life" for a long time? Like ill in bed or mostly home? Maybe radiators in school are different from the ones he has home?
He is right, 2 goes into 4 every time

Yes, try with another school and see how it goes. Maybe a Montessori or Steiner school? Those where children are allowed to do practical things. I like the people coming out of Steiner s schools. They seem to have a positive view on life!

 

[rosada]

Yes it is legal for parents to volunteer in the classrooms.

 

[Matali]

For a few weeks, try to keep conflicts with your husband in the bedroom, away from the child... just to see...

 

[pizzabec]

Hello! Here is my update.
We pulled him out of that private school and put him in an English public school. He is fitting in much much better. Even made friends! The bullying is non existen!
The environment before was simply not for him!