Hexagram 63, and letting a situation develop.

[freemymind]

I recently posted on here about I guy I was seeing who recently went back to his ex. I am hurt but working it out. I hope we can be friends still, as he was good to me for the short time we spent together. I'm curious if we will ever speak again or see each other sometime even though I won't make any attempts for contact, but he does know my family so there is a way of communication.

I asked:

How is this situation likely to develop if I leave it be?
63.1.2 > 48

Hmm 2nd line, lost curtain, don't run after it? It will return after 7 days. What is this signifying in my situation, that I am vulnerable at the moment and will realize that trying to communicate is not proper and get on with my life? Or perhaps I was vulnerable when I met him. 63 is hard for me to comprehend, well most hexagrams are for me haha if it wasn't for Clarity I'd be so misdirected by my own interpretations. I just need to know for myself what's happening so I can carry on in the right way. Thank you!

 

[kash]

It might just mean that you've lost something (your relationship with him maybe?) and that if you do nothing then the situation will resolve itself and you will become friends again. I think I read somewhere that the vulnerability in this line is the lack of support an official might need from the people higher up (I am paraphrasing wildly but it was something like that). Then he regains that trust. So I think maybe it's saying you're feeling abandoned now as he's gone back to his ex, do nothing and things will work out.

 

[freemymind]

Who is the official here? me? And I will regain trust? I don't understand, I get the don't do anything part. But as for the rest I'm still stuck? What is the feel of 63? I take it to mean things are over, and maybe I will trust again in another relationship perhaps?

 

[Liselle]

It could be you got it right in your thread title: just let the situation develop. You might just be going through the natural stages here of a relationship break-up (one which you didn't choose), sort of like the stages of grief.

You have a very mature and generous outlook on this (I read your other thread, too); you're aware that it's better for this man and his family if he can patch things up with the mother of his child. A lot of people would be more selfish, or wouldn't be able to see the big picture.

63.1 is about having already made a transition. Hilary, in her book, mentions a fox crossing a river - he's across, but he's gotten his tail wet in the process, or maybe he slips backwards while scrambling up the bank (I hope I'm not paraphrasing that too badly). In other words, how the situation will develop if you let it be is that you have crossed the river (you've realized you're not going to actually get back together with him), but not without some backsliding (you still miss him, you'd like to have some sort of relationship with him - you're still being pulled by what's back on the other side of the river, so to speak).

63.2:

"A wife loses her carriage screen - don't chase it.
On the seventh day, gain." (Hilary's book)

An important word in there, in your case, might be "carriage." It's not only saying don't chase after what you've lost (which you already understand), it's saying stay in your carriage and keep going. Don't stop to fret about the lost curtain. If you do that (if you let the situation be), there will be gain (of some kind).

I can't tell for sure what this reading says about you ever being friends, but I think all the river-crossing and carriage-riding leans more against that than in favor of it. But I do think it's saying that - regardless - you will eventually be fine. I think it's an optimistic reading for you.

 

[freemymind]

Thanks Lisa, gosh I cried when I read this and also thanks for the complement as well, it makes me feel better. It's dead on to how I feel,I miss him but I know eventually I will be fine. I suppose this was my practice boyfriend leading up to the real one haha

 

[Liselle]

I suppose this was my practice boyfriend leading up to the real one haha

Ha ha! I like that idea. Maybe everyone needs a practice boyfriend at some point .

 

[bradford]

Actually the line means 7 days to gain by not wasting them in running after it.
Not "on the seventh day, gain" but "seven days gained" or "seven days to gain."
Stay put. Anything you really need will be restored in time. The well isn't going anywhere.

 

[Liselle]

Actually the line means 7 days to gain by not wasting them in running after it.
Not "on the seventh day, gain" but "seven days gained" or "seven days to gain."
Stay put. Anything you really need will be restored in time. The well isn't going anywhere.

Oh dear. Do we have a translation controversy here?

Both Wilhelm and Hilary (it was Hilary's book I quoted and failed to credit - sorry - fixed it!) say "on the seventh day."

Wilhelm:

"The woman loses the curtain of her carriage.
Do not run after it;
On the seventh day you will get it."


One question I'd have about "seven days gained" - would you say time is the only possible gain, or at least the most important? I can see how there would be overlap: if you don't spend time chasing after whatever-it-is, you'll obviously save time. But I thought the true gain and the point of the line was not just saving time.

And anyway, you don't seem to be entirely saying that ("Anything you really need will be restored in time. The well isn't going anywhere."). But "seven days gained" seems to place the emphasis on saving time, whereas "on the seventh day, gain" seems to emphasize other sorts of gain.

 

[Liselle]

Another thing (and you've already said in the above comment that this isn't what you mean - am mentioning it because I might wonder about it if I read your translation without reading your comment)...

Here's your translation, just so we have it in front of us:

"The matron loses her carriage's veil
To not pursue this
Means seven days to gain." (Bradford Hatcher)

Could "seven days to gain" be thought of as "seven days until gain," as we might say "seven days to Christmas"?

That might be a defensible way to look at your story about the weaver (he refuses to do anything for seven days), but again, with less emphasis on saving time and more emphasis on eventually getting the carriage veil replaced?

I really do see what you mean by saving time. Concentrating on the words causes a lot of second-guessing sometimes...never thought about it this much before...

 

[bradford]

The emphasis is on not wasting time.
The phrase also occurs at 51.2.
With the same meaning. Let your destiny come to you.
It's just three words: seven days gain. Not seven days, then gain

 

[bradford]

Here's your translation, just so we have it in front of us:

"The matron loses her carriage's veil
To not pursue this
Means seven days to gain." (Bradford Hatcher)

Actually in my translation both "this" and "means" are not in bold face,
meaning these words were inserted by me. Whatever sense you make of it should also apply to 51.2:

The shock comes with adversity
A hundred thousand times one loses possessions
And scrambles up the nine hills
To not give chase
(Means) seven days to gain

And yes, it could be considered to mean seven days until gain. But "do not pursue" and "do not give chase" both imply that the effort of seven days is wasted in untimely behavior. I still think that is the big gain here.

 

[friendlysquirrel]

I agree with Lisa's initial interpretation. I'm not so interested in gaining 7 days (for eating bonbons or doing the cross word) I'm more interested in what I've lost (my boyfriend or job for instance) and knowing that in a certain period of time (like 7 days) I will gain that which I had thought lost. Or more likely - I might not get the old boyfriend/job back but I might get a new one, if I make sure to wait (7 days) and not give chase.

 

[Liselle]

Hi FriendlySquirrel,

Well...unfortunately for us, sometimes, the I Ching means what it means and not what we'd like it to mean.

Whether 63.2 means mostly saving time, or regaining the thing you've actually lost, might best be settled by looking at actual experiences with receiving that line. Do you have any 63.2 readings where you know the outcome? (This would be a good thing for me to do myself, if I have (ahem) time, so thank you for the reminder. If we come up with any good ones, we could post them here (or, better yet, in Wikiwing, if you join.))

And anyway, maybe we shouldn't be so quick to pooh-pooh saving time by not running after lost things. Who needs that in their life? It may not be a sympathetic message, but it's an honest one.