Hexagram 7 unchanging twice, relationship reading

[jemoceans]

Dear All,
I have been feeling attracted to a friend of mine for some months now and I still have not found the courage to express my feelings to him. Even though I sense there is an attraction his attitude is always ambiguous (and he was also ending a long love story). A month ago I asked Yi what I should know about this relationship and the answer was 50.6 turning to 32, which I interpreted in an optimistic way (although I feared the Yi was referring to a “platonic love” with no connection to reality... but I am still not sure about it!). Now we are even closer and I repeated the same question, the answer was 42 unchanging. I also asked how should I proceed and I got 7 unchanging. As I have always found this last hexagram very hard to interpret I asked: could I still expect the development of a love relationship between us? And the answer was 7 unchanging again. I looked at the threads of this hexagram and this interpretation stroke me: “In this hexagram, there are problems with rank, social distinctions, etc. and as such there is a great deal of vanity at work and one cannot expect both parties to be sincere and open to each other. One party, as this is a situation of conflict, will not be sincere in his emotions, and thus will be frivolous or unstable in whatever affections there may be. After all, we are talking about one side attempting to prevail over the other. As such, this gua is just bad for any effort to establish love, and it also doesn't work for marriage as well.” Should I therefore let it go or in other words, capitulate?
Thanks for your help and insights!
jemoceans

 

[meganj]

line 6 in 50- speaks of making a stronger bond between the two of you.

42- increase, sacrifice. You are making the friendship stronger.

7- It seems there are going to be challenges in pursuing this...
Maybe you should ask how he actually feels about you?

Chances are if he was in a long term relationship then he's probably not wanting to hop right into another one.

 

[jemoceans]

Thanks for your prompt reply meganji!
What kind of challenges do you thing Yi is talking about? Should I take this as a warning? I am very afraid of being rejected....

 

[meganj]

Awe, don't be afraid of rejection. There's always a risk of that happening whenever you like someone alot. Don't let your pride effect who you are. I know people that have blown possible good relationships just because of fear of rejection. You gotta just put yourself out there if you feel it's right and hope the person feels the same way.
My best friend was in love with another girl for over 3 years and never told her how she felt until I encouraged her to last summer... she found out the other girl actually did not feel that way at all. And It hurt her of course but she got over it, the truth set her free.. Now she's really happy because she knows. There was a time I believe when she should of just got over her fear and went for it, but she was scared and stayed in touch with her off and on for way too long..
But I think she brought that girl to a better place by being her friend. She helped her realize some stuff too to help her move on from a destructive long-term relationship. But she just wasn't ready for what my friend wanted at that time.
So don't be afraid.



BTW I like the way you spelt my name meganji lol with an "i" it sounds funny tehe

And also, the 7 reading well, I think maybe it's saying that it would be a difficult thing, pursuing this man.
It'd probably take alot of effort and time, and well I don't think it's worth it.
Be his friend and when the times right he'll come to you. Go out and date. Keep your options open.

 

[precision grace]

I think your readings are fairly optimistic, jemoceans. Although the resulting 7 is not a hexagram of love or marriage or relationships, it does point to organisation and strategy which sort of makes sense in the context of your question as you were wondering how to proceed. You need to have a strategy, be in command and inspire confidence. I think the second question 'could I still expect development of a love relationship' resulting in 7 is a bit confusing tbh but again, it makes sense in terms of your worry about rejection - you want to protect yourself while at the same time taking a risk of being vulnerable which you have to do in order to attempt a love relationship. So perhaps the advice is to collect yourself and keep your wits about you, be disciplined so that you cannot be harmed by inevitabilities of life. Because it might turn out wrong but it also might turn out right. Trouble is, neither we nor Yi can predict the future, so you have to get your inner self in a position where it is strong enough to withstand the taking of the risk.

Bon chance

 

[answeredquestions]

Hi Jemoceans,

I think I read somewhere that 7 was about organizing. Gathering all of your troops. Since you got this twice and unchanging, maybe it is Yi's way of saying something like, make a list and consider all of the things about the relationship. Think of all of the aspects. What are the things about the relationship that are "on your side"? And "what are the things about this relationship that you would consider to be against you".

Maybe this hex is also about figuring out within yourself what you "stand for" in life. What are your core beliefs, expectations etc. What does your army fight for? Once you know this within, perhaps you can discern more if the relationship is on your side. If it is beneficial.

Just my two cents.
Take care,
AQ

 

[jemoceans]

Dear meganj (I liked meganji too!), precision grace and AQ,
I am most grateful for your insights, you gave me relief in a time of stress and sorrow. I am trying to get emotionally organized, which is of course difficult at this moment. I have fantasized with this person for such a long time that I fear I lost the perception of reality, I fear I am misreading the situation and that in fact I am the only one desiring an outcome. I think you are right meganj when you say that pursuing this man might be a difficult thing, I am trying to get rid of that idea and let things flow, maybe if I find a good moment I’ll take a risk. I just wish I stop my wishful thinking now... it’s making me suffer as much as a possible rejection!
AQ, thanks for your advice. Yes, I should ask myself what my army is fighting for. The problem is that he “seems” to meet my expectations and desires... but is it really the case? Is not love supposed to arrive without expecting it? Spontaneously? Which has not happened yet...
BTW, today I asked Yi a last question, if there was any potential into this relationship (now that I write the question... maybe I referred to a nonexistent love-relationship!), and the answer was very accurate: 47 turning into 28. I think Yi referred mostly to my state of mind, pure stubbornness.
I’ll meditate...........
Many thanks again.
All the best,
jemoceans

 

[jemoceans]

I will post some more messages so as to be able to "say thanks to you", I cannot see the option/button now.

 

[precision grace]

are you thinking that there is no love because he hadn't made a move to be with you? I'd be thinking that in your situation (I was thinking that in your situation!!) Fantasy is dangerous, especially if we allow it to go on for a long time. You sort of stop seeing what is real and what is the story you made up in your head. Maybe that's the bit you need to sort out and organise first? Good luck

 

[precision grace]

btw. 47.3 to 28 does sort of talk about being oppressed by your own thoughts and negativity. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you get this guy or some other guy, as long as you are happy, right? So might as well be happy and then the right guy (or even this guy) will turn up.

 

[jemoceans]

precision grace, thanks again for your words. today i feel better, having talked about this oppresive (!) situation gave me some relief! bon dimanche!