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Hexagrams 28 & 47 - My Personal Experience

themothership

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I've been studying the oracles for several years now. I'm grateful for this forum, where others share their personal experiences and readings. It has really helped me to expand my understanding and interpretations to my circumstances.

I have been working on starting my own business. This has meant tightening my belt, living in very austere circumstances, in order to put as much of my efforts into starting this new life for myself. It began in 2014, when the bottom fell out of my life. My entire future was devastated, as my partner of 10 years left me. His mother died, he got his inheritance money, and did not take me with him. He traded me in for a less attractive woman, of nasty character, and no talent. Our music together, the life we had spent building together, was gone just like that. Additionally, my children are growing up and becoming adults.

I have the entire second half of my life to live, and I am starting from scratch, especially financially. I began serious work on myself, to face my demons and defeat my fears and doubts and overcome that horrible sense that somehow I wasn't good enough. I was good enough. He was the one who wasn't adequate.

It has been a very HARD time, but a REWARDING time. I have remained single, and just focused on building a new vision for my future. With any break up of a long-term committed relationship, there is unfinished business. And I still have very deep feelings for him, regardless of everything he's done to me. We share many friends, especially in our professional network. So it's impossible not to run into each other. The worst is running into the new girlfriend - she's not a good person, though she is wheedling brown-noser who just wants everyone to be awesome like me. That is literally words she has said...possibly triumphantly, but it gives you the jist of the oppression.

I've refused to allow her to restrict my movements and ability to expand. I've worked to reduce her influence to nothing, and succeeded. Experience that shift of attitude and approach from within has been very liberating and empowering.

Still, lately, there have been guys approaching to date me. And I feel ready to do that again, so I've been cautiously testing the waters out there. And it has been horrible. They are all seeking a short-term encounter, and the vast majority I find out are hiding the fact they are living with a girlfriend, in long-term relationships! I've dodged every bullet by waiting to see before I succumb to any attraction I feel. But this week, I felt the sadness and loneliness of it very acutely.

Over the course of all this, I have received Hexagram 28 very often. I've struggled to understand its concept, as it applies to me and my situations. Today, I had a breakthrough in my understanding. The oracle had drawn my attention to my support structure of friends. Many are moving away. I need new ones who live close by to me. I realized that most of my friends are made through my Professional network. Friends practice together, learn together, encourage each other along, support each other. Most shows on television are about groups who work together in an office, or in some professional setting.

But I am alone. I am missing out on that, unless I go out and get a job. Or start going to church, which honestly I'm not inclined to do because I haven't seen religion do anything but make people pretentious and unauthentic. I keep getting 28, where the image says "Thus the superior man, when he stands alone, Is unconcerned, And if he has to renounce the world, He is undaunted."
I've often interpreted this as an Excess of Self-Sufficiency. Attitudes of not needing anybody else. Attitudes that develop into "Whatever, I do what I want." Self-Reliance is a good thing. It's the opposite of being Needy. It's being strong, standing alone, not going along with the crowd. All the good things.

But learning to recognize those times when you ARE needy, and that it's okay to need help. Times when you aren't strong enough to handle things alone, and that it's okay to need a friend.

All the lines in this hexagram are solid, except the one at the beginning and at the end. It seems to depict entering circumstances, of great transition in life, that make big demands and requirements of you - to be strong, to be brave, to not depend on others for your nourishment. It begins with a situation where you are vulnerable and weak, and need to quickly do something. The bills must be paid. The car must be maintained. What used to be there to support things, your job or someone in your life - is not there anymore. You must step up and survive and be strong. Be the hero. Show the world who you are and what you are made of.

And at the end? A martyr. The marathon runner who is crossing the finish line on legs made of jelly, then dropping dead of a heart attack. The gravestone reads: "She gave ALL."

But I find this applying in my every day life all the time. I wake up feeling woozy and weak. I drink coffee. I drink tea, I drink energy drinks. I go and go and go. I might feel on top of the world, tons of energy. But in the end, comes a crash and burn. My body can't handle all that adrenaline and constant activity. If I use force all day long, without adequate rest, I might be very productive and feel great about what I've managed to get done. But my immune system will drop, or insomnia will best me. And I will crash.

All I've wanted was to understand: how do I RECOGNIZE a hexagram 28 situation when I am faced with one? I'm surprised at how difficult it has been to grasp the concepts.

Here is an extraordinary situation. Something here is so GREAT it's GREATER THAN GREAT! Something this mighty, this awesome, this grand, this momentous is powerfully prominent in a situation whenever I receive this hexagram.

It's like I was just gifted a massive grand piano. And i live upstairs. This task must be handled with care. it is an exceptional time and situation and extraordinary measures are demanded. I am a slight woman, not very muscular. There is no way I can move this piano up those stairs all by myself!! This is hexagram 28.

Hexagram 28 is not a one-man job, to be tackled alone. It is when you are faced with something really great to achieve, that you cannot achieve alone. When a person is overwhelmed by such a situation, and has no one to help him...He must stand alone even though he is overwhelmed, and remain undaunted even if everyone tells him it is impossible and to give up moving the piano up the stairs.

To envision starting your own business without a business loan, to be told your dream is really great but unrealistic. It is a CHALLENGE that calls up from the human spirit that urge to NEVER GIVE UP, KEEP TRYING.

But there comes a point where pushing one's self to do better, to be the best, to be excellent, to perfection - leads to destruction. Running is known to be a very healthy thing to do. We are told it strengthens the heart. So why do we see athletes in the peak of their form dropping dead from heart attacks? Well, maybe, running ISN'T that good for your heart after all. Maybe, too much is too much, as the joints are injured from constant pounding of the pavement, and the shin bones are hairlined fractured, and the muscles are strained and over-extended, and the entire body system is easily subject to over-training. Running seemed like such a good idea. The marketers of the running shoes and sports drinks, showed all the beautiful bodies, and happy healthy people running dutifully in great packs, awarding medals and honors, and all the heros. Who spent their money, their time, their energy - running and showing off their ego. They ran for a benefit to raise awareness for a cause, but REALLY they are just raising awareness of THEMSELVES and using the cause as window dressing. Running did not benefit the family at home, put shoes on their feet and food in their tummies. Running did not benefit anyone, in the end.

That is hexagram 28.

28.3 changes to 47: Exhaustion: of yourself, your resources, and being hemmed in because you are utterly drained. Desert conditions, not lush growth and fruitfulness.

I know what this means! My business will not grow under conditions where I'm trying to do everything alone. DIY is very admirable, but sometimes if you want a floor installed correctly, you need to get help from an experienced expert.

I'm focused on the foundations of my life. I know I'm a perfectionist, that I want to get it right. I want the best. I sincerely insist on the best! But I have to ease up on that pressure: on myself and on others. So this weekend, I'm not going to do anything to do with business. I'm going to take a leisurely rest from worry and care. I'm going to let this urge to do more, accomplish more...go. I'm going to RELAX and spend time with people who truly love me.

Moving that big piano up the stairs, can wait.
 

themothership

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As I mentioned above, I've had some dating opportunities. And I've talked about my disappointment. I've worried about my "attraction" - why I am attracting these sorts. But IT ISN'T ME, per se. I just need to be able to recognize when something is too good to be true, recognize the CONDUCT and RED FLAGS of a guy who is neglecting his wife. He sees me as that great friend, who shares his interests, who is fun and attractive. I don't mind that, but how can I avoid the ones I SHOULD? So as to avoid having someone's wife or girlfriend some and kill me when I had no idea and would never have agreed to enter that sort of situation?

47.3 Here is man who is restless and indecisive in times of adversity. At first he wants to push ahead, but then he encounters obstructions that mean only oppression when dealt with recklessly. He butts his head against a wall and in consequence feels himself oppressed by the wall. Then he leans on things that have in themselves no stability and are merely a hazard from him who leans on them. Then he turns back irresolutely and retires to his house, only to find as a fresh disappointment, that his wife has left him.

Taking the time to listen and observe when getting to know my dates, this is exactly what they have going on their lives. They want to accomplish something great. Maybe they can do that with me. But they aren't really choosing me. And they are wrecking what they DO have. And for my part, investing in solutions to my loneliness with guys who aren't available is not an option.

So I keep standing alone, undaunted. This time won't last forever.
 
D

diamanda

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I believe you've totally nailed the whole thing.
With 28 I feel I'm suffocating, and with 47 I feel drained.
And guys who cheat on their partners, well... I've heard this story once or twice ;)
Good idea to aim at making new friends, so as to get yourself out of this very unpleasant situation.
Good luck!
 

dawdling

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This post opened a lucid understanding of past readings for me. Thank you so much for sharing.
 

schalimar

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Hum... I permit myself to relate.
I just asked the YI : Why do I fell so aggressed by the presence of my lover ? What is going on really inside me ?
And I get 47.3 -> 28.

I relate to your message TheMotherShip so well, so thanks for sharing.
I've just turned 30, and I met a few months ago the perfect guy. But for unknows reasons, I started becoming a wolf to him, and it started tiring me a lot.
I started becoming a wolf because he has had a real crush, and I'm more of a slow type now (I've learnt to be cautious and calm within). This anger towards him led me to hate myself, since I can as kind as a sheep usually.
I tried to communicate with him, since I felt so oppressed I lost all my passion, and he takes it for the end of it ; when in fact, I just want to be respected with my fears, rythms, etc...

Secretly, I think I long for being alone again ; but I'm not sure if it is just to run away, or if it is just because it is my only option in order to survive.

For now I do nothing, I remain calm (exhaustion is almost behind already, since I'm looking at things with more indulgency - for him) and I wait to see if he can accept me as I am without suffering from not being like him (passionate and impatient).

Funny note : I've been dumped 3 years ago by The one for the same reasons that would led me to break up today. I was insecure, needy, impatient, and I lost it all. So I've learnt to stand alone.

Any advise on my situation ?

All the best. I hope you are all well now. Did you meet someone ?
 

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