His Feelings 14.36 > 54 VERSUS 5.2 > 63

[Cathalina]

(edit: title should read His Feelings 14.3.6 > 54 VERSUS 5.2 > 63 )

Hi community!

So I have a couple readings I've been on the fence on about asking for help further understanding. The question is regarding a very important exboyfriend (slash best friend) who, for the short time being, has been completely out of my life as per my choosing. For the most part the I ching has been helping me not only get through it but deepen my acceptance and happily focus on the present as oppose the would-ofs coulds-ofs of the past or the maybes of the future. However, recently I had a few dreams about him that stirred up my emotions and so I asked a few questions...

Q #1 : How does X feel about me?
A #1: 14.3.6 > 54.
I somewhat understand 54. We briefly attempted a friendship but given that we both have strong feelings for each other it was inevitable that we'd end up as 'lovers', me being 'the other woman' (which is why I chose not to have ANY kind of relationship or contact with him at all). Not sure though if it means he sees me as number 2 or if it just means he has a desire for me or feelings for me that are undisciplined/unethical because he's in a relationship. I definitely do NOT understand hex 14 or its lines or why it came before hex 54. I am hoping it means that my attempts to handle the situation as gracefully as possible paid off and he feels for me something dignified. But hex 54 makes me question that. I really care about him as a person and I always felt he cared about me too but with these things you never know.

Q #2: How does X feel about her?
A #2: 5.2 > 63
By 'her' I mean his current girlfriend. Him and her have a lot of history, they lived together before I came along. Just to make it clear, I didn't interfere with their relationship, they were already over by then, and she didn't interfere with my relationship with him (she tried at first but then he cut her off). Him returning to her came as a total shock to me since he swore he was done with her and his actions seemed to match his words. What hurt the most was HOW he went about it, it was a complete betrayal to me. But I've come to somewhat understand him in hex 5 - nourishment. You see, he gave me the exact same explanation as to why he returned to her. The tarot cards gave me the same explanation as well. He got with her in search for comfort because he was hurting over our failed relationship. Personally that's what I take hex 5 to mean as well, he feels nourished by her. I don't really understand line 2 (perhaps nourishment is wearing off and their own realities are kicking in?) and I much less understand hex 63. Hex 63 has 3 potential meanings to me - 1) success 2) an ending 3) in progress. Could it mean his feelings for her are being worked out as we speak / in the present, as things develop?

Please, your insight would be highly appreciated. I kind of didn't want to ask this silly question at all but ultimately here I am. Trying to get it off my mind and out of my system.

 

[blue_angel]

Hi,

"How does x feel about me?" Answer 14.3.6>54

14- he possess plenty, he is able to act in such a kind and caring manner, that both of you respond to him. But there is only room for one main female in hexagram 14. She has a high status with him and will continue to hold the position he has given her.

Line 3- perhaps he does not think much of you because he is only interested in pleasing himself.

Line 6- he does have some care for you, if only he could have you both.

54- if you were to go back with him, he would accept you, but you will have to humbly and happily accept that you will be second to him. As if you are his concubine.

"How does x feel about her?" Answer 5.2>63

5- Iching advising you to stop. You are like a young child in your spiritual growth, no longer hexagram 4 (ignorant). You are on the right path for growth, but before you stray off that path, to go on any further with him or thinking of him is risky, and you have not grown strong enough yet, it is not the right time. Trust in the process, keep hope alive for
better times to come, and relax "enjoy good
food and drinks".

Line 2- you are upset he has chosen to be with her and in the manner which he left. But this matter has already become of less importance
and in time it will pass. Do not take any action
or think anymore of him and her. Take care of
your heart.

63- you've already crossed this river. It is settled. It is how it is. Continue on your path.

I feel Iching will not answer when we try to
spy on others. Rarely answers about anothers feelings toward us and will not answer when it comes to anothers relationship, unless those people involved have asked you to do a reading, and they cast themselves. Most of the time, Iching answers us by guiding us in such a way to make progress within and for ourselves. If you have any questions on how I did my interpretation, I will be glad to answer. Someone may come along and have yet another interpretation. Either way, best wishes to you!

Blue_Angel

 

[Cathalina]

Hello Blue_Angel, thank you for taking the time to read and answer my question.

Hmm, I'm a bit disappointed that hex 14 is about him and not on how he perceives me, but that makes sense. I really like what you said about hex 5. If I may ask, what do you think it means that it has already become of less importance? That it is already done and the worst part is over? Because it still feels very important to me, as much as I try not to feel anything at all about it or get my feelings over with quick. And, on a personal note, how does one take care of his or her heart? I am trying to do everything right and externally I am (no contact, focusing on bettering myself - mind, body, and soul, not engaging in any destructive behavior, etc) but on the inside I still feel very hurt and I still get bitter or resentful or other negative feelings and thoughts. Also other otherwise positive but now very much useless feelings. I still feel very much in love.

Thank you again for your answer, it is very lovely. I know it's petty, I hate the effect it's had on me, but the past 2 or 3 nights I've had 4 dreams about him. All with the same main recurring theme - me finding out that he doesn't love me anymore. And I wake up feeling terrible, wanting to call him (but I don't, it won't help). Hopefully now I will stop having those annoying dreams!

 

[blue_angel]

Hi,

Yes, the worst is over and you are already doing as you should to go forward, grow, and get past this. So what you are doing now is what is important. What he has done is no longer as important. Taking care of your mind, body, and soul... you are doing exactly what you need to do to take care of your heart. The only advice I can offer up is this...

Meditate and when you do, if a feeling or thought of him comes up, acknowledge it, accept it, and then dismiss it. Your mind does not control you. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to feel however you feel, acknowledge, "I feel like this" feel it, not thinking thought after thought, just feeling until the feeling passes. Sometimes when we meditate its like throwing up greasy food that wasn't good for us or couldn't be digested. We throw up all those feelings, clean ourselves out, and in the end we are able to see clearly, feel at peace, rest, and be renewed. Acknowledge that you love him, acknowledge that its ok that you love him, and all the things you love about him. And... like a bird, love him enough to set him free, and do and experience what he has chosen to do. If it is meant to be he will come back, you don't have to chase him or your thoughts or leave your path. Care for yourself as you would your best friend. Open your chakras for healing, or youtube "om mani padme hum". Read the meaning and meditate / chant. Go to the beach or a park and sit with nature in peace. Walk in nature, observe nature. Get lost in a book. There are so many suggestions I can give you on how to take care of your heart. But you will have to focus your energy and find what works for you. Love yourself and treat yourself like you do. What works for me may not work for you. And... no matter what its all ok.

Blue_Angel

 

[blue_angel]

One last suggestion look online for www.thework.com by Byron Katie? That's a good one. Do the work. Its not easy but worth it

 

[Cathalina]

Thank you for your kind, nourishing words Blue_Angel. I will take them to heart and I will do the work, I am sure I will be doing it again and again during the "unavoidable times of life when inferior influences prevail".

I am glad I asked this silly question after all. And I am very glad you answered. Thank you.

 

[Cathalina]

Blue_angel, would you please help me interpret two more readings?

I had another bad dream about him so I consulted the Yi again last night, this time asking questions so that I may move forward. My first question was to understand exactly where I am right now in terms of moving forward from him and the break up. I got hex 36 unchanging, although it caught me by surprise I feel I completely understand why I got that hex (I'm not doing as well as I thought I was, over estimating myself is causing me to skip valuable moving forward steps and I'm not being as disciplined with my thoughts as I should be, etc.)

Then I asked "please advise me on how to take the next step forward?" I already had some things in mind, such as the great advice you gave me which has already helped a lot. Once again, the I ching's answer surprised and scared me.
I got hex 12 (somewhat understand) with changing lines 2 and 3, changing into hex 44.
The lines and especially hex 44 I don't really know what to make of. Is it warning me that these feelings (loss and disappointment) are something I will be experiencing often, probably in the near future? Is it warning me about my exboyfriend reappearing in my life in the distant future? By the way, past I ching readings as well as a Tarot card reading suggest that he won't be in my life in the near future but that he isn't out of my life altogether yet. Of course, it could be talking about some other future relationship or situation that mirrors or is somewhat similar to this one... I really don't know, I've never had hex 44 before but it seems a bit scary to me.

It left me very unsettled that I next asked the I ching "if possible, can you please emphasize on Hex 44 from my previous question so that I can know what to beware of?"
And I got Hex 5.1.3 changing to hex 29.

Any insight would be very appreciated please!

 

[blue_angel]

Hi,

Sure, I'll give it my best try. "Where am I in terms of moving forward from him and the break up?" Answer 36 unchanging.

I think this basically says you've been wounded and are protecting your heart. You're guarding/hiding your light with in. Acknowledge your feelings and accept them. Its ok to feel however you feel and protect yourself until better times.

"How to take the next step forward?" Answer 12.2.3>44

12- there is no way forward right now. This is very difficult for you. You are experiencing the stagnation/blockage.

Line 2-perhaps you are still wishing for him? Maybe subconsciously even. Perhaps you want to find a way to make peace with him and accept what he has done or you want to find a way to get back with him? But continue to protect yourself and restrain your desires.

Line 3- you feel unclear about all this or shame? Either way, give it time, it will pass.

44- do not be in such a hurry to heal and move forward. Or let go of your current way of thinking, restrain yourself from being bitter, controlling, or aggressive (even if this is not towards someone else but towards yourself)

"Can Iching emphasize the meaning behind receiving 44?" Answer 5.1.3>29

5- you are in a period of waiting, for the time to pass, to feel better. Be
sincere in your actions, in yourself, and RELAX, enjoy yourself, go out
to breakfast and have coffee/tea or to dinner and have drinks.

Line 1- again, continue to stay on your path, working on yourself, do not take any action. It will get easier and you will be blessed.

Line 3- do not dwell on the negatives, free yourself from depression, and do not get bogged down.

29- you are like a deep ocean of emotions. It feels horrible. It is horrible. But you must go through this, trust in the process, learn what you need to from this experience. Be sincere with yourself and the universe. Trust yourself and in the universe. It wont be this way forever, it will be ok.

There could be minor changes, I could actually see different possibilities, but I think it all comes down to the same message.

Take care,

Blue_Angel