His feelings for me: 54.1.3.4 > 46

[d_iana]

I know I should ask him, but I also know that he won't answer, if I ask.
It's been an on again off again relationship, for 1 year now. It's very frustrating for me - sometimes I feel that he's in love with me, sometimes I feel like he doesn't care at all. It's a very difficult time and I don't know what to do, whether to stay in this relatioship (and try - again - to make it work, although I don't know how) or to go (don't know where... just try to leave, to go out of this situation). So I asked what are his feelings for me [I'm in love with him]. And the answer was 54.1.3.4 > 46. I don't see 54 as an encouraging hexagram for a relationship, but what struck me is that it talks about secondary wife - he's been married before. So there must be some truth in this answer, but don't see it clearly. I need your help. Thank you.

 

[precision grace]

IT sounds to me like this guy has a rowing eye, he likes you but he probably likes all manner of temptations as well. And he can't make up his mind what he wants to settle with. It would be better if you asked yourself what it is you want as spending a year on a relationship that has caused you much distress is already a year too long in my humble and experienced opinion. However, I also know it's easier said then done. In my experience, it is best to ask Yi for advice on our own situation rather than that of others, because even when for example the others have feelings for us, it does not necessarily mean that they will act on those feelings or in a way that is pleasing to us. just my little bit of home spun philosophy, do with it what you will..

 

[white owl]

Hi Diana,
perhaps, he feels that he has found someone who will take care of him & who will really be there for him. I think he knows this & probably feels somewhat guilty because he needs to be alot nicer to these sacrificing qualities that you are lovingly expressing ( he knows he needs to be more grateful.) Also he may see you as the future mother of his children. He may feel unworthy too, of you. If he starts upsetting you or acting ungrateful again you may want to not be so available..keep busy, let him know you have a life & it dosent necessarily revolve around him ( in a tactful way, of course.)

WO

 

[gnar]

54, 1,3,4.

Line 1 is about being in a situation that is not perceived or received as sufficient, but is doable. It can work, and making it work seems good.

Line 3 is about accepting what is possible. This is more on realistic expectations than ambitions or great unreachable desires.

Line 4 is about reaching the proper time for the proper things. This describes more about a process of reaching the proper moment, and so attain the proper situation.

This cast of yours seem more realistic than fantastic to me. It's what most people don't know happening inside most people. None of us, I think, is too naive nowadays to not have these things inside of us when it comes to relationships.

It's always a growing process. Even magical meeting of people who believe they are destined to be together must go through and have these feelings.

 

[Trojina]

I know I should ask him, but I also know that he won't answer, if I ask.
It's been an on again off again relationship, for 1 year now. It's very frustrating for me - sometimes I feel that he's in love with me, sometimes I feel like he doesn't care at all. It's a very difficult time and I don't know what to do, whether to stay in this relatioship (and try - again - to make it work, although I don't know how) or to go (don't know where... just try to leave, to go out of this situation). So I asked what are his feelings for me [I'm in love with him]. And the answer was 54.1.3.4 > 46. I don't see 54 as an encouraging hexagram for a relationship, but what struck me is that it talks about secondary wife - he's been married before. So there must be some truth in this answer, but don't see it clearly. I need your help. Thank you.

This is easy to see even without the I Ching...its quite simple. Move on. Like the famous book 'hes just not that into you' point out...if hes interested he will show it. If he keeps you in doubt and acts like he doesn't care then hes not caring. Theres nothing confusing here really. His actions together with the cast are quite clear.

This answer I think advises you to move on. I've come to see 46 as often just outgrowing something, so thats good. In moving on from him you are actually making progress, a step up.

54 shows one taking second place in all kinds of ways. Second place in someones time and interest. He may like you very much but he kind of keeps you in your place in his life. This is okay in some ways, you manage to hobble along even though you aren't top of his priorities (54.1) and maybe you make some progress from a lowly position to a slightly less lowly position (54.3) . If these lines were applied to a job question it might be okay...but in an intimate one to one man/woman scenario its not really okay is it, not really very fulfilling which is why eventually you outgrow it (46) and move on (54.4)



I could be wrong but it just looks pretty clear to me

 

[d_iana]

Thank you all.

This answer I think advises you to move on.

This was my idea too, when I saw the answer.
Thank you, Trojan.

 

[Trojina]

I'm glad you weren't offended by my take on your post as White Owl was and took the opportunity to say that my post meant I had a miserable and angry personality and would reap bad karma for posting my thoughts here.

Her post was removed to this thread in moderation http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=13667

this is for clarity as when White Owl post was posted in moderation there was no connection to the thread it came from here


all I had intended was to give you my thoughts on your answer. I didn't claim to be right infact i said i could be wrong. My answer was one of many answers.

 

[d_iana]

Ouch! I didn't know I somehow started that... discussion or whatever it is.
Thank you both, white owl and trojan, but I am perfectly able to make my own decisions, independently of your answers to my questions. (Sorry! )

I don't take white owl's interpretation at 100% (although it is very tempting, I admit it), since she (exactly like precision grace) doesn't seem to interpret the hex / lines, but it's rather an interpretation of the situation as I explained it.
You, trojan, you do exactly the same thing in

This is easy to see even without the I Ching...its quite simple. Move on. Like the famous book 'hes just not that into you' point out...if hes interested he will show it. If he keeps you in doubt and acts like he doesn't care then hes not caring. Theres nothing confusing here really. His actions together with the cast are quite clear.

Here you interpret the situation, not the IC's answer. And usually in relationships things are much more complicated than "if he acts like he doesn't care then hes not caring" - often it's about fear of commitment, not about "not caring".

The only replies that seem to interpret the IC's answer are gnar's and trojan's - second part. I'd go with trojan's because this

54 shows one taking second place in all kinds of ways. Second place in someones time and interest. He may like you very much but he kind of keeps you in your place in his life.

answers exactly the question I asked ("what are his feelings for me?" - "he probably have feelings for you, but you're second in his interests") - and this is the only reply that interpret the IC's answer as an answer to my question. Because I didn't ask (to the forum) for advice on my relationship, we're not at Cosmopolitan.

So be sure that I am able to find the right (for me) way between "you may want to not be so available..keep busy, let him know you have a life & it dosent necessarily revolve around him" and "completley slamming the door on someone".

Thank you.