His intentions towards me: 7.1.3>11

[faith512]

I recently met a guy at a retreat center (he works there) that really piqued my interest romantically. Nothing concrete has happened between us romantically at this point. But I asked the i ching to "please give me insight into his intentions towards me".

I got hexagram 7, with changing lines 1 and 3, changing into hexagram 11.

My initial feelings are that he intends to take the lead between us romantically, even though it's likely to cause some conflict for him with his colleagues at work (conflict that he might not fully be prepared to face at this point?). They may not approve due to our age difference (he's older than me, but we're both adults). I feel like there's a potential for us here if he doesn't take their advice to not pursue anything with me, and instead we could build something with commitment and spiritual depth.

I'm new to the I Ching and would love to hear other people's thoughts!

 

[Liselle]

Hello Faith, nice to have you posting.

It can be hard to interpret readings that try to read someone else's mind, because how can you really ever know? Also Yi can decline to cooperate if one's intentions are bad. Yours surely aren't, you just want some idea what might be possible here, but then a better question might be, "What is possible here?"

Moving along, for this one I might wonder if Yi's saying something like, "His intentions or this objective (7) - how would it 'flow' (11)?" Flow in his life, maybe, or the two of you flow together.

7.1 sounds like what you said.
'The army sets out according to pitch-pipes.
Blocking strength: pitfall.'

The army sets out according to signals that block its strength and cause pitfall - in other words the wrong signals. Maybe he suspects, for whatever reasons, that a relationship with you could conflict with his aims, somehow. Could be age, different stages in life, who knows.

It doesn't have to be an insult. People can like each other but still realize a relationship isn't the best idea.

I'm not sure about line 3. Maybe he knows a relationship with you would inevitably perish for some reason (maybe reasons known only to him), so maybe better not to start it. Do you see what I mean? It's harder to have to end an actual relationship than not to start one in the first place.

 

[redoleander]

7.1.3 > 11

7.1 It's difficult to get off to a good start or maybe already got off to too challenging a start (you're at different strengths, paces, intentions). If this is advice to you, I think it would be saying to go into it carefully and thoughtfully, really needing to sync up and align with this person, or it won't go well.

7.3 Usually holding onto something the needs to be released. The combination of these two lines makes me think that perhaps this didn't get off to as strong of a start as it needs to and so maybe now lives mostly in your mind.

11 may be about the desire to seek union; it's not that clear to me if it's really possible. If it is, it would be with a lot of challenge and strategy.

 

[rosada]

Perhaps 7.1.3 is referencing the fact he works there and so there may be some confusion as to whether he feels it is appropriate for him to be looking for a personal connection. Like the captain of the army doesn't date one of the troops.
11. Peace talks about the importance of everyone staying in their own lanes while peacefully flowing along together.
Together these hexagrams suggest to me that he doesn't intend to do anything even slightly inappropriate that would disturb the peace.

p.s. On the other hand perhaps 7.3 could indicate NOT following the old rules. I think if you just continue to be friendly, go with the 11. Flow, if it's meant to be something will happen.

 

[diamant]

please give me insight into his intentions towards me
7.1.3 > 11
7.1 shows preparing for a dangerous war, and 7.1 shows losing a battle or war, probably because the preparation wasn't adequate. So then comes the truce/peace of 11. I believe this is telling you that what he intends towards you is some kind of war, in which you will lose (I doubt he's intending to have a war and lose himself). I also doubt that 7.1 means taking the romantic lead, it's an ominous dangerous line.

 

[Trojina]

I got hexagram 7, with changing lines 1 and 3, changing into hexagram 11.

I would think it shows it's difficult to proceed due to a lack of a game plan. Obviously 7 doesn't always refer to war but to strategy, means of obtaining an objective.

When you ask about others intentions most often Yi just skips to telling you how the situation is for you not the actual contents of his mind which can amount to the same thing. This doesn't look like much of a goer

Looking at what the I Ching says
'The army sets out according to pitchpipes,
At odds with strength, pitfall.'

So if we're in 7 there must be a question of attaining some kind of goal or developing a strategy to serve an aim so what's the aim here. You said

My initial feelings are that he intends to take the lead between us romantically, even though it's likely to cause some conflict for him

Maybe the 7 shows that intention but the lines show how that intention pans out

7.1
'The army sets out according to pitchpipes,
At odds with strength, pitfall.'

This can often be a mismatch between the zeal to proceed and the actual reality of the goal envisaged. There can be enthusiasm to get moving but does it really want the destination?

It reminds me of situations such as where one says or thinks 'yeah yeah I really want to do that, I'm going to apply for that job/course/relationship' without giving enough consideration to whether you want it. It's possible he was flirting, showing a lot of motivation but he hasn't looked to where that might go or what he really wants. People do flirt with people they really wouldn't want a relationship with.

7.3 doesn't show much promise for this going anywhere either.

'Perhaps the army carts corpses.
Pitfall.'

I do find invariably that this is an idea that died en route, it's not valid.

11 here as relating can indicate this as the passing flow of events. It is not 'peace' as in 'peaceful' at all but rather how life just keeps rolling on through the ups and downs and you can't stop it. This experience you had was part of the moving flow of days that brings us whatever it brings us.

The yang pattern is 36, yin pattern 6, when you asked this question it was coming more from a place of concealment than openness and transparency. The yin pattern, how you might flow through the situation is 6, the need not to push to conclusion.


In your shoes I don't think at this point I'd hold huge hope for this developing. That's not to say you should turn down developments if they occur, you have to go by indicators in 'real life' alongside Yi but for now it looks like unless there were far more clarity about direction between you and he about how you wanted this to end up, it's a bit of a waste of time. The reading could well be saying he's flirting or leading you on with no intention of creating anything that might look like a relationship to you. Or even if he is being genuine not just flirting doesn't look like either he or both of you have enough of a way of making it work, no vision or plan, so it's already passed and gone in line 3. And if there was a plan in line 1 it marches out but doesn't know where it's going. Read sequentially the lines might say just that. That it start out with the vigour of expressed intention without knowing what it ultimately wants and dies on manoeuvres in line 3.

 

[faith512]

Thank you all for your interpretations!

In order to ask a more clear question, I followed @Liselle 's advice and asked what is possible here between him and I. I got 19.4>54.

I'm still quite new to Yi, but my initial impressions as I learn about these 2 hexagrams are that our approaching each other, from the perspective is Yi is without blame, so pure intentions? Neither of us are trying to exploit the other. And like I've already described about being younger than him, the Marrying Maiden hexagram describing a marriage between an older man and the youngest daughter, could that describe marriage potential here?

 

[Liselle]

If I'm going to suggest something, it'd be nice if I then had ideas about it, wouldn't it. Unfortunately I don't really.

Also we can't completely ignore the first reading. If this one sounds all sunny, the first one still doesn't.

Knee-jerk reaction to the line ("Arrival nearing, No mistake") is to wonder if maybe you'll soon find out, that maybe something concrete will happen, and you'll get some clarity on it. I don't necessarily mean he'll ask you out, just that you'll find out some sort of information.

Do you know for sure whether or not he already has a girlfriend? I could see this reading that way, that you'll soon find out that he's involved with someone else.

Do you know the Marrying Maiden story? In ancient China, when a woman married a nobleman, she was the "first wife," and she'd take other women with her to kind of be court maidens. They were the second wives, so to speak, and they are who hexagram 54 is about. The maidens aren't the important people, the first wife was the important one. And despite the hexagram name it doesn't mean the maiden will marry the man. Once in a great while that would happen, but not usually.

 

[Liselle]

It might not be a girlfriend, just to be clear. But that 54 there does make me wonder if something else is going on, and maybe you'll soon find out about it.

Just a guess, of course.

 

[Trojina]

Thank you all for your interpretations!

In order to ask a more clear question, I followed @Liselle 's advice and asked what is possible here between him and I. I got 19.4>54.

I'm still quite new to Yi, but my initial impressions as I learn about these 2 hexagrams are that our approaching each other, from the perspective is Yi is without blame, so pure intentions? Neither of us are trying to exploit the other. And like I've already described about being younger than him, the Marrying Maiden hexagram describing a marriage between an older man and the youngest daughter, could that describe marriage potential here?

No point just skipping onto other questions here if you haven't fully taken in your original answer. Be wary of getting into a situation where you're using more questions and answers as a way of perpetuating the relationship through Yi.