His interest 4>20

[becalm]

I met a man at the beach and we've spoken a few time when we've seen each other. I needed some help with something so I went to his place (uninvited) to ask for his help.
He seemed more than happy to help me and we spent a good part of the day together. Suddenly there seemed to be chemistry between us which I wasn't expecting and he made some comments about how we'd make a good couple but then just as quickly he'd shut that idea down.
We touched on the subject in a light hearted way and he said he was uncomfortable dating someone who lives so close to him but didn't elaborate.

What do I need to know about his interest in dating me
Hex 4.2.5>20
He wants to learn more about me before he decides whether to date me or not.

How can I progress my connection with him
58.2.4>3
Just remain honest and open to discussion

 

[HarryK]

Hexagram four - Lines two and five.
I have a dog who likes to play fetch with me and is even sometimes forcing me to throw the stick. He is in his natural retriever duty and asking: Throw it so I can show you what a good boy I am, even if I look like a youthful folly boy. (4.two)

This good boy saw the stick flying across our solar system and (of course) catches it. Bringing it back to me just to tell me that "I have it but now you need to (play) fight with me to get it back so you can trow it again. So you see that I can fetch and be both a good protector. Show me that you liked it." (4.five)

Hexagram twenty
After this spectacular show has arrived to an end. He is viewing (20) my reaction and expecting: Will you clap your hand and give some of your snacks?

---
This guy is like a dog. Every guy is like a dog.

 

[becalm]

Ah got it. Thanks HarryK.

 

[HarryK]

The oracle to the second question is quite more interesting.

Hexagram fifty-eight - Line two and four.
I think that your connection with him will disappoint you. As you -maybe- will notice his lack of education and understanding. Or something that you will shake your head by hearing strange comments - a wise man would say: A blind person would like to describe the colors of a butterfly to those who own butterflies. (58.two)

Ironically I see in the next line (58.four) something similar to my comments on hexagram 20: Viewing. This time in a more rational way. You are reviewing what you are viewing within this guy. Is it something YOU can work on if YOU choose to develop this into a US.

Hexagram three.
You and this guy started at hexagram four. Now we are looking at hexagram three. Why?
Because you both need to be aware that every beginning has an unknown end. You met him with your own (both) feet on the ground - you are independent, while you realized that he had just one feet down. In The begining YOU were expecting four feet on the ground - both independent but together - but there are only three.

---
You will bring more value to this connection as he can imagine. The value he can add is limited not because he does not want ... but just because he is a dog and not becalm.

 

[diamant]

he said he was uncomfortable dating someone who lives so close to him
I know this one. It means he doesn't want a relationship.
He likes playing around, most probably online so that there's distance, so if you live close to him you'd quickly find out.

he made some comments about how we'd make a good couple but then just as quickly he'd shut that idea down
I know this one too. Mixed messages to create confusion.
Confusion is one of the main weapons of manipulators.

 

[becalm]

He rang me and asked me out for tonight so it's going to show me a bit more about the potential for this to be an US situation.

 

[diamant]

For tonight! That's a bit of a short notice. Wear your Observation Hat, I hope it goes well.

 

[becalm]

Hahaha no!! He rang a couple of hours after I left his place yesterday. It's only early morning here and I don't talk to anyone before 8am. Phone is on Silent between 8pm and 8am.

 

[diamant]

Ok that's reassuring!

 

[becalm]

The date was lovely although it's not going to be your usual kind if relationship which we're both agreed on.

The oracle to the second question is quite more interesting.

Hexagram fifty-eight - Line two and four.
I think that your connection with him will disappoint you. As you -maybe- will notice his lack of education and understanding. Or something that you will shake your head by hearing strange comments - a wise man would say: A blind person would like to describe the colors of a butterfly to those who own butterflies. (58.two)

Ironically I see in the next line (58.four) something similar to my comments on hexagram 20: Viewing. This time in a more rational way. You are reviewing what you are viewing within this guy. Is it something YOU can work on if YOU choose to develop this into a US.

Hexagram three.
You and this guy started at hexagram four. Now we are looking at hexagram three. Why?
Because you both need to be aware that every beginning has an unknown end. You met him with your own (both) feet on the ground - you are independent, while you realized that he had just one feet down. In The begining YOU were expecting four feet on the ground - both independent but together - but there are only three.

---
You will bring more value to this connection as he can imagine. The value he can add is limited not because he does not want ... but just because he is a dog and not becalm.

I can see this as being true even though it's early days.

He says random things without thinking and he's a bit like a someone with a wobble in a yogic Tree Pose. He doesn't seem to be able to sit still and talks a lot whereas I'm almost the complete opposite. He used to surf and do yoga everyday but he damaged his knee and Achilles, had eye cancer and then Ross River Fever so no wonder he's all over the place in some ways.

 

[becalm]

---
You will bring more value to this connection as he can imagine. The value he can add is limited not because he does not want ... but just because he is a dog and not becalm.

I think this is so true....

 

[becalm]

He's been sending text messages that suggest he's still interested but I've just deflected and said I'm busy, which I am for at least the next week.
Curious if his interest has changed in any way....

What do I need to know about his interest in me (now) Hex 6 unchanging
Sounds like he's Arguing with himself about what his interest in me actually is.

 

[redoleander]

I wonder if the 6UC is maybe speaking to you directly? Almost as if his level or type of interest in you isn’t really the heart of the question, but something else is. For example, if you’re actually compatible etc. you would know better than I what the real question is, but maybe you’re arguing with yourself or conflicted

 

[diamant]

What do I need to know about his interest in me (now) Hex 6 unchanging
Conflict of interest?

 

[becalm]

I wonder if the 6UC is maybe speaking to you directly? Almost as if his level or type of interest in you isn’t really the heart of the question, but something else is. For example, if you’re actually compatible etc. you would know better than I what the real question is, but maybe you’re arguing with yourself or conflicted

You could be right - the basis of me asking this, a couple of times now, is the energy of uncertainty he's always shown since we met. This answer still reflects uncertainty.

 

[becalm]

What do I need to know about his interest in me (now) Hex 6 unchanging
Conflict of interest?

As in another woman or....? The only thing I can understand is that, his marriage of 36 years wasn't the best, and he doesn't want to put himself in a situation where his freedom to be 100% himself is curbed. I'm the same tbh. It doesn't mean you don't want to compromise as that's part of being in a relationship but more what I said on someone else's post. Most relationships have a belief that you have to believe, do, think the same as each other.

 

[diamant]

No, by conflict of interest I meant that your interest in him and his interest in you are two different things.

Being in a relationship shouldn't make you lose any freedom, except if it's a pathologically obsessive one. The few happy long-term couples that I know enjoy both doing things together, and doing things by themselves or with friends and family. The only 'freedom' you really lose is the freedom to sleep around.

 

[becalm]

No, by conflict of interest I meant that your interest in him and his interest in you are two different things.

Well that could be true, only I don't know what he wants. He says one thing and acts like another. Hence my question....