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Housemate sit worse..13.1.4>53

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goddessliss

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Further to this thread http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=14824&page=3 things sort of settled down for a little while but only just and I thought ok it just musta been teething problems then wham! he oversteps another boundary. His son has also moved in and he is a lovely boy but this is not an ideal situation for me and it has made me realise I need to be living on my own or with 'conscious' people.

At the moment I am not talking to my housemate - I am not throwing a tantrum I just cannot be bothered trying to sort it out because clearly he has not heard me before and I really just don't care about him or the situation and have been looking for alternative accomodation, unsuccessfully so far.

How will it benefit me to look for alternative accomodation 13.1.4>53

To me this looks like I shld sort things with my housemate but to be honest it is exhausting to continue to do that when the situation seems to move 2 steps forward and 15 steps back.

thks
Liss
 

hopex

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sorry that it has got difficult again Liss
13 line 1 says the situation needs to be fair but line
4 says that if you keep quiet things will soon be
comfortable to you

53 gradual progress implies that you are naking steady
progress to your desired state of autonomous living
 

foxx777

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I think this says things should be superficial, less intense, and that you have a right to protect yourself against intrusions - and that you should persist in your search for other accommodations:

13. People Together
Line 1:

People together at the gate.
Without fault.

Together with people in a superficial connection. There is nothing wrong with this.

Line 4:

Taking advantage of one's city wall,
they will not be able to attack.
Good fortune.

Protecting oneself against the other with a barrier, so that the other cannot reach one. This goes well.

Hexagram is changing to:

53. Gradual Development

Gradual development.
The woman marries.
Good fortune.
It is beneficial to persist.

A gradual development is taking place. Things go well. It's good to persevere.
(The woman marrying refers to the gradual development that led to the actual marriage of a woman in the times of the Yijing.)
 
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goddessliss

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Thankyou hopex and foxx777 - yes this is good I actually feel like my silence towards him is a good thing. In my life at the moment the less said to the male in the situation the more effective it is and they are opening to listening to me more when a conversation about 'issues' does take place.
It is very interesting because I have struck up a beautiful bond with his son. The energy in the house is wonderful when Ph is not around.

Anyway I have made contact with at least 3 or more people who are looking for a tenant but none have been suitable so far.
Yesterday I was at a fairly new friends house whom I get on with fabulously and he is actually now the (paid) mechanic for my kombi, who is a friend of a close friend of mine.
When I mentioned my accomodation situation he said why not move into one of the spare rooms in our (wife and new baby) house and a tenant living in a caravan on the property.
There is a lot of positive reasons to make this move my only hesitation is I would definitely have to become part of the 'group' which in the past I have shunned doing in any group as I always felt I didn't quite fit in and I allowed my own personal issues to obstruct this.

How will it benefit me to move from here(present accomodation) to B's place

Hex 8.2>29

Line 2 - The origin of standing by is inside. Determination auspicious.
If you want to function well in your group, then be a real member, in your heart. Just doing all the right things is not enough, if you are not really committed the others will know. Accept them the way they are, even if they are weird, be proud of your group, even if it is a motley crew. All your actions will testify what you feel, so make your feelings great.

Could I have got a more succint answer ???????? lol

Definitely a bit of weirdness and definintely a motley crew and as this property is in a small community a lot of um weirdos do drop by to B's place. I think the reason they do is he is so accepting and doesn't shun their energy particularly so I would love to be able to overcome my obstructions and just be able to do this too. Not so much to actually fit in because that would be falseness but just so that I can do it generally in my life.

thks have a joyous day Liss
 
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goddessliss

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I have been offered what I consider a much better living arrangement, however it is in a house that is up for sale so as my quest is for long term accomodation now this is not ideal.

The accomodation B offered me is now being discussed with his wife so I sill have no idea what is going to happen there.

However in the interim my pain in the a... housemate has approache me to discuss how we can resolve our 'issues' after I left him a note saying I was unhappy and will be moving out as soon as I find a place.
I finally got to tell him he is just not a conscious person and that's what this is about really - a heated discussion ensued which is about the 4th time this has happened in the 6 weeks or so I have lived here and I do not wish to live like this at all. Ironically he told me he loves living me with me as I am respectiful of him, the home etc. :eek:

Anyway I still decided to ask how will it benefit me to stay living here Hex 2.4.6>35 just in case my emotions are getting the better of my decision making.

Doesn't really look to me things are gonna get better!!!

thks for your help - without being settled in my homelife I am not really getting anything else done and this is very upsetting. Liss
 
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mirian

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Dear goddessliss,

Regarding your question: " I still decided to ask how will it benefit me to stay living here Hex 2.4.6>35 "

I can see two different aspects there. It shows a situation in which you need to keep yourself to yourself, sort of hide your emotions and opinions, retreat quietly, putting yourself forward as little as you can. However, here there are two people with completely different views, who do not see things eye to eye and the strong differences in opinion lead to conflict and argument. So, referring to your question, this is the scenario if you stay. There might be a row when you will be saying things to each other that you will both get hurt. So, these are considerations for you to think about, to help you to make the right decision for you.

Please take care.
 

hopex

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I see that this is a time to be the feminine energy and
be accomodating and patent with all that is - in some
way this surrender to the situation will lead to great
good fortune 35

maybe Yi is asking you to be patient like the mare -
nothing ideal has come up for you yet. Maybe take
time to have your checklist of what you want and
need as a home - then it will manifest.

my concern is that you are more seeking to escape
than get to the right place. Sharing with others isnt
easy. I lodged with a work colleague once and it
became difficult (he had hoped it would lead to something
else I was just out of a break up) i did what i suggested and
found a place that has been home for 18 years
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks for replying mirian, the way you have worded your intepretation is exactly right.

I feel a bit guilty for basically walking out the door without much notice because as I said he is not really a bad person is just not 'conscious' and he honestly has not felt the oppression and inner conflict I have felt.

my concern is that you are more seeking to escape
than get to the right place. Sharing with others isnt
easy. I lodged with a work colleague once and it
became difficult (he had hoped it would lead to something
else I was just out of a break up) i did what i suggested and
found a place that has been home for 18 years

Thanks hopex - no not trying to escape - that is the mistake I made by taking this place. I have never really felt comfortable here.
Last night I was offered a place but I declined and during the past week there has been a couple of places I could have taken but none of them felt quite right but tonight I was offered the place with B and his wife and I am moving in over the next couple of day. I took the time to really think about and it has felt right since the offer was made 4 days ago but I still wanted to take my time in thinking it through.
So at this time a great result for me considering the angst it has taken to get here.

Thanks everyone who has helped - Liss
 
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goddessliss

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Oh dear - it got worse with Ph.

I found a place and started packing up and told him I would be moving in the next couple of days - he went totally, totally berserk becoming volatile and potentially violent. Saying he wouldn't let me do that and I promised to stay long term, That I would pay for this (moving out) and I can't do this to him and he would not let me out of the house, blocking my way out of my bedroom and then when I got out of there blocking the front door and standing as close as he could to me yelling at me - I finally managed to escape and ran across the road to the park and some women were there with their children and they rang the police to come and assist. By the time they got there he had gone out somewhere. I stayed at my new home last night but I kept waking up thinking I was back in the other house and he was going to attack me and when I went back to sleep I kept dreaming he was attacking me. anyway just thought I would update even though the IChing didn't really show me this was gonna happen. Liss
 
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foxx777

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Oh dear - it got worse with Ph.

I found a place and started packing up and told him I would be moving in the next couple of days - he went totally, totally berserk becoming volatile and potentially violent. Saying he wouldn't let me do that and I promised to stay long term, That I would pay for this (moving out) and I can't do this to him and he would not let me out of the house, blocking my way out of my bedroom and then when I got out of there blocking the front door and standing as close as he could to me yelling at me - I finally managed to escape and ran across the road to the park and some women were there with their children and they rang the police to come and assist. By the time they got there he had gone out somewhere. I stayed at my new home last night but I kept waking up thinking I was back in the other house and he was going to attack me and when I went back to sleep I kept dreaming he was attacking me. anyway just thought I would update even though the IChing didn't really show me this was gonna happen. Liss
:eek:.........:confused: OMG.......am sorry to hear this. Maybe you should cast another reading, and ask "Will he let this go, or is there a potential for him to escalate?"---of course , the police and the law will be on your side, it is just never pleasant to have to deal with these things. And no, there seemed no indication of this coming.........truly sorry for you. :(
 

hopex

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onwards and upwards Liss - has he lost ncome?
no matter - he handled it bad still makes me think
he had romantic intentions and your gut instincts
were right:bows:
 

dragona

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oh dear...I remember I took your firs casting as sayin to get another tenant, exchange the bad for a good one and why would you have to be the one with less freedom in the household anyway?
it was not healthy situation, good you are finally out of there
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks all of you for your support - yes his main stress was the loss of income as he can't afford the rent on his own but he is also in a lot of debt. I don't have much money at all but I am good at managing it due to being married with 3 boys etc. and living on one income, but he automatically thought I had plenty and for whatever reason he felt that it was my responsiblity to assist him with his debts.
I don't know about the romantic thing although my male friend also suggested by the sounnds of it he was interested in me romantically. Who knows on that score.

What intentions does Ph have towards me from here Hexagram 16... not enough emotional attatchment to look at this although it doesn't look like he's going to let it go.

How will this issue Ph has with me be resolved Hexagram 38.1.6>40

That looks a bit betterthks again - Liss
 
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foxx777

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I think H38.1.6 does look positive. To me, it suggests that the "horse" will return: Perhaps his decency toward you, once he has cooled down.

Line 6 to me has always been about thinking someone or something is horribly against you, but finding that it is conversely a very positive thing or person. Maybe he will even apologize as he should?

Transposing from the Emotional I Ching, line 6 says at first an attack, by one becomes aware of how one's actions are not justified, and stops. "As rain falls, one goes. good fortune"---tensions are released, and where one had an enemy , one may have a new alliance.
 
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dragona

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It looks to me he wanted to dominate you Liss...
Hex 16 unchanged may as well be his agitated state will prolong, but both lines speak of letting the weapons/hostility down - one by enduring, another by realisation it is useless.
 

hopex

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16 - agitation 38.6 out of opposition into release
seems its gonna blow over.

no wonder you felt tense with him being tense.
 
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goddessliss

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Thanks again - went to pick up the rest of my belongings yesterday and he wasn't there but the front door was open hmmmmmm.....looks like somehow the handle/keyhole is broken - u wld have to very heavy handed to break it??????
anyway he left me a note saying I had broken my word about how I would stay there and that I owed him money - however a very passive worded note but it certainly screams of passive/agressive.
So I am guessing this covers Hex 16 hopefully Hex 35 isn't too far away.

He was always yelling at his kids telling them what to do 14 &17 y.o. and/or yelling at his exwife on the phone - I guess I just got in the middle of all this - who knows? But now I am out of it. I am still feeling vunerable etc. and still feel the need to speak with someone at the woman's centre so hopefully that will happen today whether we take it further and get an AVO on him I don't know. Certainly I do not need or care for such negative things to be taking place in my life.
My business is called Peace In Your Heart and that is exactly what I am after in my life.

- Liss
 

foxx777

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Thanks again - went to pick up the rest of my belongings yesterday and he wasn't there but the front door was open hmmmmmm.....looks like somehow the handle/keyhole is broken - u wld have to very heavy handed to break it??????
anyway he left me a note saying I had broken my word about how I would stay there and that I owed him money - however a very passive worded note but it certainly screams of passive/agressive.
So I am guessing this covers Hex 16 hopefully Hex 35 isn't too far away.

He was always yelling at his kids telling them what to do 14 &17 y.o. and/or yelling at his exwife on the phone - I guess I just got in the middle of all this - who knows? But now I am out of it. I am still feeling vunerable etc. and still feel the need to speak with someone at the woman's centre so hopefully that will happen today whether we take it further and get an AVO on him I don't know. Certainly I do not need or care for such negative things to be taking place in my life.
My business is called Peace In Your Heart and that is exactly what I am after in my life.

- Liss
It really does sound like you just happened to land in the middle of his mess. No way you could have known, and hopefully, time will cool him down, and he will turn to his other problems.
 

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