How Can I Stop Feeling Guilty For Dumping My Ex? Hexagram 16.1 to 51

[Enlightenment23]

After dating a guy for one year, I knew he wasn't the one. I broke up with him, but although I know in my heart it's not meant to be, I feel guilty for breaking his heart.

We haven't talked in two years -- mostly because of his bitterness and anger towards me.

So I asked I Ching, "Advice on how to stop feeling guilty for dumping my ex?"

I got Hexagram 16.1 to 51.

What's interesting is that the changing line indicates the following:"Approval Expressed"- Satisfaction should sometimes be kept to oneself. To take pleasure in things such as the misfortune of others brings misfortune in itself.

I have a personality that, regardless if I'm playing sports, working on a project, or in a relationship, I must come out "on top." I must be the one with the better life, the better money, the better significant other. So when my ex contacted me out of the blue to tell me he's moved on and found a girlfriend, I took it as a competition. Soon after, I grabbed myself a new guy to show off that I'm not bothered by his gf one bit (I truly wasn't -- but the proof of having a boyfriend validates this)

Although I know my ex contacted me randomly to show off, maybe the changing I-Ching is saying, "Don't stoop down to his level. Be happy in your own satisfaction and keep it to yourself -- don't show it off."

What do you think? I will reply to all interpretations with feedback

 

[sooo]

I think you've nailed it better than anyone else can. At least you know yourself well; kudos for that.

 

[Enlightenment23]

I think you've nailed it better than anyone else can. At least you know yourself well; kudos for that.

But what about the Hexagram changing to 51 (Shock)? As per TarotWikipedia, the message I get is "Correct faults and you will start progress again." Does 51 mean I have to reach out to him and apologize for how things ended? I don't want to....lol. I simply want to have a peace of mind. But if that's what I have to do...

Any thoughts?

 

[pocossin]

Any thoughts?

If the electricity (51) wasn't there, you are right that you shouldn't have been there. Congratulations on getting out of an unsuitable relationship.

 

[Enlightenment23]

It wasn't there for sure. Thanks Pocossin! I feel better already =]

 

[sooo]

The IC most often reflects our own condition or state. Your question is about your guilty feelings, which you yourself have attributed to your competitive or excitable nature. Line 1 of 16 advises you to restrain this excitement which is causing your sense of guilt (51). In other words, don't sweat it.

 

[rosada]

I'm not clear on the story here. Are you saying that you broke it off with with a fellow you had been dating for a year, he was angry about it and didn't speak to you for two years and then contacted you out of the blue to say he had a new girlfriend and now you are feeling guilty about breaking up with him two years ago?

 

[Enlightenment23]

I'm not clear on the story here. Are you saying that you broke it off with with a fellow you had been dating for a year, he was angry about it and didn't speak to you for two years and then contacted you out of the blue to say he had a new girlfriend and now you are feeling guilty about breaking up with him two years ago?

Everything you said is correct, except that last part -- probably because I didn't make myself clear. This guilt has been with me since I dumped the guy. I am not guilty because I broke up with my ex, I feel guilty because of the way I broke up with him. I kind of left him in the dark as to why I left him to protect his feelings. But he probably thinks I'm some evil heartbreaker. Seeing him break down and cry still haunts me, to be honest.

So I asked I-Ching how can I stop feeling guilty and feel okay with how I broke up with him. Should I reach out and explain everything? Maybe he's not even upset anymore and I'm just worrying for nothing?

I brought up him contacting me out of the blue because that's the only thing that seems to make sense with the changing line here. Stop worrying about his life and worry about my own.

 

[Enlightenment23]

The IC most often reflects our own condition or state. Your question is about your guilty feelings, which you yourself have attributed to your competitive or excitable nature. Line 1 of 16 advises you to restrain this excitement which is causing your sense of guilt (51). In other words, don't sweat it.

Thank you. I just want to get this burden off my chest once and for all. Guilt is not a fun emotion lol. I won't sweat it anymore! =]