How do I get over being lazy

[tannin]

Hi Folks, I'm new here. I've been working with the I ching for a little while, but I'm not an expert at all. I often read these threads to get more ideas.
I was hoping for some help interpreting- I asked: what can I do to get over being lazy?
I got 37-family
What do you think?
Thanks so much!

 

[rodaki]

hi Tannin,

the way I see it, you have to feel like a mother who takes care her family and house no matter what . . that is view and treat what you have to do with loving care rather than seeing them as boring chores . .

rodaki

 

[willowfox]

Start a new routine, find things to occupy yourself all day, get interested in something, start doing some cooking and cleaning, bit of DIY around the house.

 

[rosada]

Great question!

37. The Family

"The Family" makes me think maybe it's housework that you feel you should attack with more enthusiasm. There is a website designed just for this purpose: Flylady.com. If getting into organizing your house is your purpose this site will get you there.

 

[vida]

i've always taken 37 to be about proper relationships and duty. when i receive it for questions that are not about interpersonal relationships specifically, i know i have to go inward and assign all my various personalities to their proper place and make sure each is attending to their proper duties. we don't want the little kid in us running the show and making all the decisions-- and when we're lazy, thats pretty much what happens.

its possible too that the yi is trying to open up some of that good ole inner dialog by requesting some reflection on personal history in family relationships. getting to the bottom of how lazy behavior today might be a reflection of childhood learning from family dynamics.

 

[jilt]

In the 19th sentury when looking for new officers amongst the sergeants there was one nice criterium: Is the person lazy? When the candidate was lazy it also meant he could delegate very well. let others do the hard work.
Have you ever read Chuang Tzu or Lao Tzu and gave wu wei a serious thought?
Some argue the world goes into chaos because of industriousness. Just think about all that idle running around and all those gadgets that serve no purpose, all the idle consumers, the commuters in the file.
Perhaps you better wag your tail in the mud.

What is/was your role in your family or primary group? How were realtions between siblings, between parents? Was it stimulating or was there a smouldering conflict? What are the mores of the scene you're part of?

Anyway, when making a family I can assure you lazyness will be over, all by itself. No time to reflect on doing nothing no more.

 

[lienshan]

I asked: what can I do to get over being lazy?
I got 37-family
What do you think?

Trigram Wind (the Gentle) above symbolizes outwards energy
Trigram Fire (the Clinging) below symbolizes inwards attraction

The answer to your question is, that your being lazy depends of your motivation. Do concentrate on that
which interest you, that which turn you on Don't waste your time with that which is boring you

lienshan

 

[bamboo]

I love both vera's and jilt's interpretations.
sometimes we walk around with a sack on our back of "must-dos" and this is heavy, exhausting.

what we really need to do, we will do.

how much of what you are calling laziness has to do with what you are assuming you must do. maybe it is natural and right to be doing "nothing" right now.

I had a friend who wrote abook about this. She said she never met a lazy person, ever: What appears as laziness is usually an "overcoerced child" from the past, who does a very competent and successful job of resisting coercion. So family dynamics be a key, if you grew up feeling coerced.

In keeping with this, another way of looking at 37 is to see the model for harmony. Do something you feel enthused to do, what you enjoy doing. Once you are moving, the momentum changes, and it is easier and harmonious to then do things you were avoiding. I am often surprised on days when I feel overwhelmed /resistance to doing that everything seems to somehow get done - if I just don't get into the game of forcing myself. I have to be "at home" with myself first.

The lady who wrote the book also said to call a friend who loves you. Tell them about what you are lazy about doing, and remind them to tell you kindly at the end of the conversation the good reasons for doing that thing and to do it. This is the kindly discipline of a "mother", line 3. This breaks the spell of feeling coerced .

It helps me

 

[dobro p]

I asked: what can I do to get over being lazy?

I got 37-family

The Yi seems to be saying something like this: in order to overcome the laziness, work on your membership in the inner group, quite possibly the family itself or some other group that you feel close to and a part of. By participating in such a group, you'll find the incentive to act in a way that will start to overcome the laziness.

My take on this is that you both need support in order to want to exert effort and initiative, plus you need close interpersonal connection and a sense of belonging before you think anything's worth working for. Family, the inner group, Hex 37 - all this has to do with participating in a group that you BELONG to. My guess is that as soon as you sense you belong, you'll start to exert effort.

By the way, one aspect of 37 is the idea of serving the group, of working to ensure its wellbeing.

 

[Trojina]

I agree with what Bamboo said. I'm usually rather suspicious of the term 'lazy' for the reasons she gave. You generally find in the end its all about someone elses idea of what you should be doing. When you do what you love to do theres no laziness.

Interesting that 37 came up before for a similar question about laziness here

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=6117

Another thing which perhaps has already been said, but still..I think 37 can be about finding your place in the world thats home for you, where your energy levels/pace of life are quite natural and comfortable for you. When someone else is imposing their pace of life, how they think you should live, and i think society in general does this to us, then you'll feel out of synch cos its not your pace. That feeling of 'out of synch' is often labelled 'laziness' i think.

 

[jilt]

So, perhaps your question should not be, as this yi-family says, about being lazy, but about how to direct your energy: As LienShan said: organize your affections inside, then outside will follow. Do concentrate on what interests you.

 

[Tohpol]

This obviously needs lots of contemplation....

 

[Trojina]

see if he was human he'd be called a good for nothing layabout but cos hes a dog he can get away with it, same goes for cats

 

[bamboo]

LAZY? who ever heard of lazy? in my family, we dont know from lazy

then again, maybe there's something to it,...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_uFJo5ww0E&feature=related

 

[Trojina]

How apt ! Maybe Tannin can't muster the energy to respond to the many responses (just kidding i mean maybe Tannin can't get to a computer or.........)

(maybe we were wrong and Tannin really is very lazy)

 

[tannin]

Well, yes, I am lazy but also have been busy and tired, and haven't been on the computer much.
I didn't have a cute pic of a lazy dog, but these guys are pretty laid back-

Ok, in the interest of, uhm....energy efficiency, I would like to reply to you en masse. That will make this pretty long. If that is not ok, let me know, k?

So, I was amazed by how many people said different things, and how true each of them was on different levels. I very much appreciate all your responses. So many levels of meaning...

Rodaki- "the way I see it, you have to feel like a mother who takes care her family and house no matter what . . that is view and treat what you have to do with loving care rather than seeing them as boring chores . ."
I don't have kids, but I am now a foster parent of my two nieces. I definately have struggled with resenting trading relaxing walks in the park for extra laundry.

Willowfox- yes, I really do need a routine. It's a challenge for me.

Rosada,
You mentioned housework. Yes, that is one area that really concerns me, and something I hate to do. Thanks for the link to flylady. She's really organized.

Vida, " we don't want the little kid in us running the show and making all the decisions-- and when we're lazy, thats pretty much what happens.

its possible too that the yi is trying to open up some of that good ole inner dialog by requesting some reflection on personal history in family relationships. getting to the bottom of how lazy behavior today might be a reflection of childhood learning from family dynamics."

I really connect with inner dialog- most of those inner folks are arguing about whether to cook dinner or go get Wendy's. It really rings a bell, too, relating laziness to childishness.
Personal history- I did grow up in a house that it would be kind to say it was filthy, and never recieved any structure or routine.

Jilt-
"When the candidate was lazy it also meant he could delegate very well. let others do the hard work."
I love that! Its apositive way of looking at laziness. There is good in everything, if you look the right way.
wuwei- I looked it up. I'm not very familiar with it in the tao, but i think I understand
The difference between not wanting to do something you must, and relaxing and letting things unfold- I see it. I'm definately in a place where I dont want to do what I need to, don't want to settle into routine, don't want to give up chaos.

As for relationships- Many conflicts, abuses, etc. in childhood. I still struggle with relationship issues on all levels. And the mores of my childhood- you guessed it- laziness!

Lienshan
"Trigram Wind (the Gentle) above symbolizes outwards energy
Trigram Fire (the Clinging) below symbolizes inwards attraction"
The meanings of the trigrams, I haven't really learned too much about.
When I think of outward and inward, what comes to mind is two forces conflicting with each other.

"Concentrate on that wich interests you"
That's good advice

Bamboo-
I wont copy all your words, but they made a lot of sense
"the coerced child"...I do feel like I am forcing myself. I suddenly see myself as the big meanie I've been resisting! And yes, there wasa lot of coercing at home as a child.
Looking at 37 as a model of Harmony. Harmony in the family, harmony in the family within one's self...
I'd like to read the book- can you tell me the title?


Dobro-
"in order to overcome the laziness, work on your membership in the inner group... ""Family, the inner group, Hex 37 - all this has to do with participating in a group that you BELONG to. "
The family, inner and outer, I can see the need to bring that into harmony, both the past and present families..a personal connection can be a powerful motivator when nothing else works.


Trojan-
I liked the point about defining laziness using your own standards instead of someone elses. A natual comfortable pace for me is pretty slow and relaxed.
More personal info that relates- Since I have MS, it is easy for me to get tired. On one hand, it's an easy excuse to be lazy, but on theother hand- my definition of lazy is probably different from others
Organizing myself on the inside- that is a strong image for me. I can see that that would help. If you don't have priorities, then how can you figure out what to even focus on first?
And I love that- when you do what you love, there is no laziness.




So- I see that 37 can have many levels- families, inner and outer, group workings, relationships and duties, belonging, the meanings of the indiviual trigrams, past histories of families...

For being lazy I've sure spent a lot of time on this post, and I haven't been able to say clearly the cascade of connections you have all inspired.
I want to thank you all very much for your insights and inspiration.

Take care-

PS- what are hairy lotus feet?

 

[Tohpol]

PS- what are hairy lotus feet?

Trojan? Care to elaborate?