how do you read 45 to 53

[pammy]

A good friend directed me to this site, explaining that it might help me try to understand what I might be doing, without relizing it. Exploreing within.. you might say.
Am not sure really how to start.
I need to understand what I may be doing wrong, in dealing with Men .
A little background about me.
Most of my life.. has been within a marriage or long term relationships. Now, in my later years am cast into the unknown, I find myself struggling on how to relate to men. Which in itself a surpise to me, I have never had this problem before. I have this huge fear of being hurt, and am afraid that I might my signals to men may say... go away. At first I never thought about it... but
now am begining to wonder. My friend says that I need to allow myself to take chances. I was not aware that I was not.
I started dating about a year ago, after giving myself time to get over a huge hurt.
Dating a few men, having fun, but nothing serious. I did meet one guy that has keeped my interest, we have been dating very casual for about 8 months, seeing each other only about once or twice a month, usually in just involves hanging out at his house , making dinner and watching movies or something. Just nice ya know. At first he seemed into the whole thing, talking about seeing more of each other and stuff, I sort of took his words like a grain of salt, never comenting on them, because he never called more or saw me more. and I never asked him about it, just let him be free you might say.
Right now we are friends, I do not demand time from him, I just let him be . We just seem to get together when the urge sets in. Remind you we both date others, he is not on my mind everyday.. its just that there is this feeling about him that I have.. comfort ? We have never had heart to talks, or talked about us. We just are what we are. Lately I have been wishing that maybe I would want more . My friend thinks am putting out the wrong signals to him. So at there suggestion I asked
What kind of signals am I putting out to him 45. 3,4,6 going to 53.
Then on a general question about all men.. I asked
How do men view me 41 1,2,3 going to 52
I have had a few guys tell me, that they cannot read me,
If you could also suggest a general question to get me on the road to understand how I relate to people ( not just this guy) it would be helpful.
Thank you for you time.

 

[diamanda]

Hi pammy, and glad to hear you're not giving up

What kind of signals am I putting out to him 45. 3,4,6 going to 53
45:3 and 45:6 both speak of tears, as in crying out to be united.
The middle change is good, perseverance pays off. And 53 sounds
very good too - although there's a bit of a doubt here - does he
see you as crying out to be married again? And an even bigger
question, why would that be a problem then? As, logically and
naturally, what the majority of people want is a steady partner.
The signals seem to be saying you're intent on a steady relationship,
and (53) trying to take all the necessary steps towards that, with
unfaltering perseverance (45:4), while at the same time obviously
suffering for the lack of commitment (45:3 and 45:6). All very normal
and natural if you ask me.

How do men view me 41 1,2,3 going to 52
They view you as a very decent and discreet and fair person, who
does not want to diminish them, but also at the same time keeping
your own dignity too (ie not diminishing yourself either). And also
as someone who sooner or later will find someone to settle down
with again. 52 is a promise of indeed settling down with someone
again (and it will not take as long as you might think).

"If you could also suggest a general question"
My suggestion would be, "what would be my best stance so as to
settle down again?" - provided that this is what you want, apologies
if i got your message wrong. Also about this particular guy who is on
your mind sometimes, i'd suggest, "What can be done towards a
future together?".

 

[pammy]

Diamanda... thank you for replying to my post.
All I got to say is wow, am very surprised you got all that out of my reading.
It's a little scarey to tell you the truth.
My signals to him, I would be really surprized if he picked that up from me. But it is what am been feeling lately. Am really pickey when it comes to me, and do not fall hard real fast. Pretty self sufficiant my friends call me. The doubt, I know he is recovering from a pretty rough break up, and is probley in the same mind frame as me ( scared)
I think am aloof to him actually, I don't bug him with phone calls, or ask him questions about us or anything, never , ever complain about not seeing him.
Maybe he thinks am happy with the way things are ? Think I will be a little bold and shake things up just a bit, or maybe after several drinks just ask him if he likes the way we are. Go to the source , the best way.
I have had 3 men in the last 4 months ask me how I felt about them, said they could not figure out if I liked them or not. So the whole thing has me wondering.
Your reading Diamanda has got me thinking, I can see me totally in it.
I think the I ching may have been mirroring what I been feeling? what I need ?
I need to reread what you wrote and ponder awhile. Thank you so much
pS I did the question you suggested
What must be done to have a relationship with X
24 straight up
Seems I need to be patient ( my middle name) if it happens it happens so dont go and try to force things, and stop doubting myself...lol Let the sprouts grow naturally.
Makes sense, if I got the right idea on that Hex.

 

[diamanda]

Indeed it's very possible, as you said, that the answer speaks of what you have
been feeling, and not necessarily if he picks it up or not. Being aloof does show
someone who is very cautious, and overprotective of themselves; also taking
things slowly shows serious intentions in itself. Perhaps not asking him for
anything at all also shows a bit of insecurity, or, it could even be taken as a
test to him, to see how much initiative he could take? In any case these are
only some ideas. The straight 24 you got is a lovely answer! Things will happen
naturally. The light returns gently and springtime comes about. Sounds very
promising, and as you said, there's nothing specific to be done, just allow things
to develop and grow.

 

[pammy]

Your a very wise person!
Yes, after thinking about it, am insecure about entering in a relationship.
I just remembered a few things he said to me not to long ago. Now am understanding why he said it. He said that he know I want to take things slow ( I was thinking, Yea but a little faster than a snail would be nice ) . To funny! I need to put out some itsy bittsy signs, without being forward.
Anyway, thank you so much for your help.
Now, off to learn more about this I Ching.