...life can be translucent

Menu

How does Grace (22) Relate to Behaviour?

layla_b

visitor
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
Hexagram 22 is one of those hexagrams that I tend to *think* has an obvious meaning..only to realize on further reflection that it seems to be multi-layered.

This is a continuation of my post "Am I supposed to Work this out?"

I asked "How should I BEHAVE in order to get back together (with my love interest)?"

It answered

22. Grace lines 3.6 Leading to 24 Return

How does this translate into a way to behave?
 
D

diamanda

Guest
I'd say this, in the light also of your other post, suggests that you try to bear with
yourself for being in love, try to maintain 'sobriety' despite this fact, and blank him
out (22:6). 24, easy come easy go, friends come and go 'without blame'. I'd say in
short this is telling you to completely drop the issue of having a long painful closure
discussion, just tell him you've changed your mind and all is fine or something, try
to keep away of any deep conversation in a pleasant polite manner (22 speaks of
social grace, and is not deep). So now that he's getting the divorce, if you begin
to turn the tables and appear to politely slither away as well, that might bring him
to his senses, fingeres crossed.
 

layla_b

visitor
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
That is a very interesting perspective and one that actually crossed my mind. But I was considering just ignoring him when he calls or writes to arrange our meeting. When I asked about doing that the Iching said "that is not the proper way to act". So I thought, "ok I should meet him".

But every answer I get about what will come from the meeting points to me NOT getting a clear answer from him. So what's the point?

But your suggestion is different. You're saying, be socially graceful, respond to his invitation to meet but respond with good manners and say "I have reconsidered and thank you but it won't be necessary".

Or, how would you suggest I formulate my response in compliance with 22.3,6?
 

layla_b

visitor
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
Diamanda,

I asked the Iching about the outcome of taking such an approach.

The exact question was, "If he contacts me to meet but his tone is still the same (not denoting an obvious interest to work things out yet) and I just ignore his msg all together..how will that effect the situation?"

(keep in mind that he as COMPLETELY ignored my msgs on occasion although my msgs have been few - so I don't think it would be out of line to ignore him at this juncture)

The Oracle's answer was

It will effect the situation by Hex 54.4 leading to 19 Approach
The purpose in protracting the time is that after waiting the thing may be done all the better

Does anyone out there have an opinion on the influence here?

I am definately leaning towards ignoring his invitation. As his attitude to me was "I dont know what good it will bring but if it helps you ok...I'll call you in a few weeks"

Thank you!
 
Last edited:

willowfox

Inactive
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Messages
5,530
Reaction score
261
I asked "How should I BEHAVE in order to get back together (with my love interest)?"


22.3.6 Leading to 24 Return

Just be yourself but as was mentioned before, be cautious and don't throw yourself at him, willy-nilly, the primary thing here is to communicate as a friend, to lend support if he needs it, and it seems that he does. So, watch and learn from his behaviour as to what you should do next, and try your best to console him.

I cannot see the point of trying to avoid him or not answer his calls, as the man's head is messed up enough as it is without you adding more discord to the pot.
 

willowfox

Inactive
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Messages
5,530
Reaction score
261
Line 54.4 suggests that he will then move on and find another woman.
 

layla_b

visitor
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
Ok Willowfox,

I will do exactly as you suggest. To the 'T'.

I will let you know how it turns out.

FYI, when I asked him for this "closure" meeting I told him, "the point is not to have a sad, long drawn out discussion but to move on in friendship. To find common ground so that we can grow to be friends."

I told him "I don't need to meet you to make accusations or ask loads of questions. I just want it to be a peace offering and a friendly chat. A first step to moving on"

So maybe somehow that ties into 22.
thank you
 
D

diamanda

Guest
points to me NOT getting a clear answer from him. So what's the point?
The point would be to achieve 24, friends come and go without blame, so i guess this
means that he would again start feeling comfortable and accepted when around you,
without any heavy unpleasant discussions (as at the moment he clearly doesn't want
to do that).

how would you suggest I formulate my response in compliance with 22.3,6?
From what i understand, he said he will contact you at some point after a few weeks,
in order to have that heavy discussion, right? Or has he already invited you to a
particular time and place? I'd say wait till he gives you a specific date, and then you
can say something very easy-going like, "i'd love to meet, but if you don't mind i've
changed my mind about that discussion, why don't we just leave that part out of our
meeting and just meet for a nice time?" (well something along those lines). But in
order to be able to do that, you'll need to try to control your feelings first (22:3).
A lot depends on what his last message to you was - did anything in it require an
answer? 22:6 very often refers to lack of communication, especially "when you have
nothing nice to say, best not to say anything".

I told him "I don't need to meet you to make accusations or ask loads of questions. I just want it to be a peace offering and a friendly chat. A first step to moving on"
I Ching apart, i'd be very careful with saying such statements to him ("moving on").
I'll agree with WF's suggestion, sounds like a good idea to be there for him, stand by
him, ask him what his needs are, etc etc, without pressuring him into anything.

"If he contacts me to meet but his tone is still the same (not denoting an obvious interest to work things out yet) and I just ignore his msg all together..how will that effect the situation?"
Hex 54.4 leading to 19 Approach
Obviously this is far from an ideal situation for you, but the way it sounds to me, if
he contacts you to meet, and you ignore it, indeed you'll lose him - and that in itself
may not be too bad, as he doesn't sound ideal as things stand, but 54:4 speaks of a
very long wait for the next guy. So i guess it's a choice of either try to keep this for
now, in less than ideal terms, or prepare yourself for a very long wait for someone
much better.

I told him, "the point is (...) to move on in friendship. To find common ground so that we can grow to be friends.
Again I Ching apart, friends are friends because they enjoy sharing things, and doing
things together, not because they have a long discussion to come to agreement to be
friends. Friendship will bring you closer, but it would have to be a more natural and
easy-going accepting kind, 24-style - i'm saying this just to point out perhaps a better
frame of mind to approach him. Good luck!
 

layla_b

visitor
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
There is an aspect to all of this that I have not mentioned yet, because it didn't matter until now. On Sunday night I had a dream (I have psychic dreams quite often and this happens more the older I get). When I woke up I immediately wrote the dream out to my best friend.

In the dream I was at an event with alot of younger people. I was being watched by a group of men, younger than me but not exactly teenagers. I started to talk to a beautiful young man and we clicked. He looked like model (which is NOT my normal type) and he was a bit younger than me but we connected instantly.

The next thing I know I take him back home with me, but instead of my normal apartment it was a bohemian tent with large persian rugs. (indicates a lifestyle change). Then I was marrying him and very happy! He was younger but we FIT and he was so sweet.

My best friend told me last week "I don't want to tell you this to upset you because I know you want to get back with X but I have seen that you will meet someone new and it will be great".

I told her, I dreamt of him and he will be

1. younger than me
2. not my normal "businessman" type
3. Either a libra, aries or gemini

After having this dream I woke up on Monday SMILING. I wrote the dream out and mailed it to my best friend.
Then something amazing happened.

I decided to go to the park wuth a girlfriend, we planned to meet at three in the afternoon. For some reason I felt the urge to leave my house 15 min early than necessary. When I arrived at the metro station near the park I 'heard' a voice (my own) in my head urging me to run. So I literally ran up the long, long steps. I was panting when I reached the top. But there was not even any reason to run! I was already too early.

I got the street and saw a McDonalds. As I was walking in the McDonalds my ex boyfriend, the one that had a massive impact on my life for the past three years...was walking out. We have not seen each other in two years. He is the EX best friend of the man that this thread is about.

My story with these two men has been something quite remarkable..very, very KARMIC.

We saw each other and it was awkward. But it stirred alot of old memories and unresolved emotions.

The next day (tuesday) I received an email from him. It was a bitter, venomous email. It was definately CLOSURE.

And it was destiny.

So back to the dream..

I had that dream on Sunday night.

On Tuesday night I went to a party, because the images of the dream were still in my mind I found myself looking around for the man from my dream. But to no avail.

Then tonight I had another large event to go to, hosted by a national Television network.

Waiting for champagne at the bar I saw a young man staring at me and he leaned into to say something to his friend. I knew it was about me so I made sure not to look at him when he was looking. When I did catch a glimpse of him, he was beautiful but definately unconventional with a goatee and piercing in his lip. Quite ...bohemian.

Later in the evening I decided to rest on a sofa and there he was. He came up to me with his friend and we talked for two hours.

We connected instantly. He told me "when I saw you I said to my friend, I love her pale skin and blue eyes". It was very sweet. But beyond that I felt an instant connection. He is 6'4, has long blonde hair and a face like an angel. He is also a few years younger than me. But very...I don't know....he's just, SWEET..exactly like in the dream.

The best part is this.

I excused myself to leave and as I was walking out I heard someone running up behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I turned around. It was him. He took me by the shoulders, grabbed me and kissed me on the mouth!!

Then he said "sorry, I don't want to let you get away. You are so beautiful. Tell me how I can find you"

SO...

I know for a fact that there is no "long wait" until a new man comes along. The tarot cards have been tellilng me this also for a while now.

They have also been giving me The Lovers Card and speaking of ME having to make a choice...as opposed to this guy who is keeping me hanging making the choice.

I also believe that my ex, the one I have been pining for...is seeing someone else. I dreamed twice that he was sleeping with an ex of his...someone he cheated on his wife with while married to her.

He also left his wife with a three month old baby.

I am seriously wondering whether or not this is the type of human being I want to make myself vunerable to.

He promised me the world, swore he would never leave and then BAM.

Perhaps the messages I am getting from the Iching are also about ME taking control back of this situation. I have been in a 54 (out of my control) situation with him and he has been definately living a 22 kind of life (a fascade and superficial)

Life looks very different this week.

Alot of destiny was at play.
 

elvis

(deceased)
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
241
Reaction score
1
Hexagram 22 is one of those hexagrams that I tend to *think* has an obvious meaning..only to realize on further reflection that it seems to be multi-layered.

The INSTANCES of 22 cover a wide range of emotional expressions derived from a class of meaning. As such, at the class level, what 22 covers is vague, diffuse - THEN come the local context details.

The really generic level of 22 covers a context of bounding, to enclose/encapsulate something, with a focus on the encapsulation, the facade or gloss that is used to cover and so hide what is 'inside'.

The TEXT of 22, ie. to top trigram, covers a context of bonding, of forming a relationship of some form and so sharing space with another/others but 'inside'.

Move to higher levels of abstraction and we move into trigram perspectives such that 22 covers "with/from guidance (fire in lower) comes discernment (quality control - mountain in upper)"

ANYTHING that conforms to these generic qualities will 'map' to 22.

22 shares space with 36 and so the pair covers a focus on covering up - either totally (36) or only the exterior (22) where the latter serves to draw attention away from what is being facaded/glossed-over/beautified.

36 is unconditional in its coverage (no compromise) where as 22 is conditional.

hex 22:
http://www.emotionaliching.com/lofting/bx100101.html
 

layla_b

visitor
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
21
Reaction score
0
I don't understand why the iching keeps telling me to meet him. it says that if I don't, then "all occassion for repentence will disappear and their will be evil". When I asked "and what benefit will there be if I do meet him?" I get Hex 24 unchanging.

I asked how will he eventually view me and feel about me if I handle the situation well and it answered

14.6
The topmost line, undivided, shows its subject with help accorded to him from heaven. There will be good fortune, advantage in every respect.

But I still haven't come to a final conclusion on how to "handle the situation well" .. *sigh* I guess just wait and play it by ear.
 
Last edited:

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top