How inherently compatible are we? 5.1.2.3 > 8

[tidalwave]

I'm in a partnership that I can't easily extricate myself from. Very deep roots. Sometimes I wonder if it just drags me down.

How compatible are we, really?

5.1.2.3 > 8

8 the promise of union.. but 5, waiting for it. A block? Perhaps it will never happen?

 

[loverofknowledge]

I see Hexagram 5.1.2.3 as different ways of waiting. None of these lines is especially easy, especially line 3: waiting in the mud. Maybe the "mud" is the negativity that drags you down, in this partnership.
Hexagram 8 speaks of unity , but seems to be the unity of a group or political federation rather than a 1-1 partnership.
Maybe you will be compatible if the two of you join a group with harmonious ideals or if you are connected by a cause and principles together.

 

[tidalwave]

Hi loverofknowledge, I guess 8 could refer to joining something bigger than ourselves. I find that in this partnership there is always the sense that we are working toward a closer union but that we're never "there." Other readings I've done on the topic have said we were 9 > 46 (can't remember the lines).

Must it be so hard? What if one wants fulfillment in the hear and now!?

 

[rosada]

5.1 Waiting for your life to start happening.
5.2 Chatting with someone while you're waiting.
5.3 Getting bogged down with this person.

These lines read like you and your friend hooked up while waiting for the real thing to come along. So I think the answer to your question is that you two are not all that compatible. Not that you are incompatible, more like that you don't have any real reason to be together. Kind of like what loverofknowledge said. I don't know as 8. means you should join a group but I do think you might get something out of having some mutual goals to aim for to help coordinate your energies. Even if it's just making dinner together. Otherwise it's like you are stuck with each other but to what purpose?

 

[tidalwave]

I think there's some truth to your interpretation of the lines, rosada. At least as far as feeling bogged down. The issue is complicated because we both have issues relating to abandonment and fear/guilt about pleasure, although this manifests in different ways. So maybe that's why we were drawn to each other, but unfortunately it hasn't produced the transcendental experience that I thought it would. At the same time, we have realized how we messed up over the years and are trying to work through it and change. Somehow we can intensify each other's problems. I guess the dilemma is whether to continue to work through this together (hoping to begin therapy next week), or if one should simply quit. I guess my question was asking, is it even worth it? IS there a kernel of magic underneath all of this numb sensation?

 

[loverofknowledge]

Yes, I agree with rosada, that to join a group may not be necessary but perhaps to find a common goal, and joint pursuit, beyond the interpersonal dynamics of the relationship itself, will refresh you and give both of you joy.
Since you are looking for a transcendental experience, as you say, -- and believing there may be a kernel of magic buried there -- that could be the "waiting" and hexagram 8 poses the question:
What are you joining with?
are you joining with the mud of old resentments?
or with an uplifting and transcendent source of harmony and shared goals?

 

[rosada]

Thinking some more about these hexagrams in view of your telling us that you and your friend both are dealing with past experiences where you felt abandoned. Maybe this means that one or both of you don't have a good inner sense of how to proceed, you don't trust your instincts. So hexagram 8. Seeking Union would say you can't go any further just on instincts. You now are at the point of needing to negotiate very consciously what you are intending to create with this partnership. You mustn't get bogged down in Waiting for the lightening bolt of True Love. Just start negotiating what you want the partnership to look like (Discuss realities, Where will you live? Do you want children? Who walks the dog?) You may come to find you are more compatible than you realized (which will fill you with confidence which in itself is a strong aphrodisiac), or you'll realize that much as you love each other and wish each other well your life purposes are so different you decide it's best to not go beyond "friends."
So I rephrase my previous post and now interpret Hexagram 5.1.2.3 - 8 to mean:

Don't Wait, Negotiate!

Well, just trippin"! Best wishes,
rosada

 

[tidalwave]

Really helpful, rosada. Thanks!