How should I deal with this man? 22.3.6

[giraffecloud]

There's a man on Facebook that I know on a face to face level but he no longer lives locally. We got into a political argument on Facebook. Not only did he talk down to me but patronised me as well so I reacted angrily. Then he edited his post to make it appear that I was making accusations up. I don't like loosing friends but I also don't like being disrespected. When I consulted the I ching, I was expecting it to reply with close the doors on him but instead I got Grace.

I feel this means that I should be gentle with the guy after all, if I'm aggressive he will only use it against me. As for the changing lines, I don't understand them at all.

 

[BlindedFox]

How should I deal with this man? 22.3.6->24​

Hex 22 is about the different stages when we are using masks, and what hides behind them, our essence. Line 3 is using sparringly its masks, diplomacy, and so. So line three doesn't want to use too much adournment (hiding) , while line six is thinking of stripping all adornment away and initiate a full frontal attack to convince the other, it wants to engage. It is a swaping of ideas that will allow to come back afterwards and fortifies once own beliefs with better arguments.

 

[Trojina]

There's a man on Facebook that I know on a face to face level but he no longer lives locally. We got into a political argument on Facebook. Not only did he talk down to me but patronised me as well so I reacted angrily. Then he edited his post to make it appear that I was making accusations up. I don't like loosing friends but I also don't like being disrespected. When I consulted the I ching, I was expecting it to reply with close the doors on him but instead I got Grace.

I feel this means that I should be gentle with the guy after all, if I'm aggressive he will only use it against me. As for the changing lines, I don't understand them at all.

22 is neither about gentleness nor the lack of it. The title 'Grace' is quite misleading since that will make you think of extending grace and such whereas this is more to do with perceptions, fronts, masks, the representation of things and people. These representations help us navigate life but they cannot always be trusted to give a clear picture of the more serious underlying issues.

22 and 24 'talk' here through the conversational lens of 52 and 58, the change patterns...the tension that bought you to pose your question to Yi is one of staying within yourself(52) or reaching out to engage(58) well you know that, but this central conversation is 'wearing' the primary and relating hexagrams 22.3.6>24

You asked how to deal with the man so the question is from your own vantage point which is the best way to ask a question and know how to take the answer.


It seems to me to be counselling you that in line 3 you may have been swept up in appearances and not known it. It could be that the political opinion you argued about is something that represents to you something more than what it actually is in itself. Perhaps it carries great inspiration for you. All this is good but idealisations can wear off in the cold light of day. One can have the vision of equality for example but that's a different thing to doing the day to day things that will make that possible and visions can fall away in the light of that. Line 6 asks you to have no pretences or positions with this at all, simply to be who you are with him. I mean the lines could refer to your stance on the political issues the argument was about, or rather the aspect of you the political issue raised and it could also be straight advice on how to handle him. The undercurrent here is being pulled back to yourself (24) by recognising what is appearance here and what is fundamental to the relationship (22.3) and by being very simply who you are with him (22.6)

Maybe just go on talking without trying to present any particular stance on what happened between you.

 

[giraffecloud]

22 is neither about gentleness nor the lack of it. The title 'Grace' is quite misleading since that will make you think of extending grace and such whereas this is more to do with perceptions, fronts, masks, the representation of things and people. These representations help us navigate life but they cannot always be trusted to give a clear picture of the more serious underlying issues.

22 and 24 'talk' here through the conversational lens of 52 and 58, the change patterns...the tension that bought you to pose your question to Yi is one of staying within yourself(52) or reaching out to engage(58) well you know that, but this central conversation is 'wearing' the primary and relating hexagrams 22.3.6>24

You asked how to deal with the man so the question is from your own vantage point which is the best way to ask a question and know how to take the answer.


It seems to me to be counselling you that in line 3 you may have been swept up in appearances and not known it. It could be that the political opinion you argued about is something that represents to you something more than what it actually is in itself. Perhaps it carries great inspiration for you. All this is good but idealisations can wear off in the cold light of day. One can have the vision of equality for example but that's a different thing to doing the day to day things that will make that possible and visions can fall away in the light of that. Line 6 asks you to have no pretences or positions with this at all, simply to be who you are with him. I mean the lines could refer to your stance on the political issues the argument was about, or rather the aspect of you the political issue raised and it could also be straight advice on how to handle him. The undercurrent here is being pulled back to yourself (24) by recognising what is appearance here and what is fundamental to the relationship (22.3) and by being very simply who you are with him (22.6)

Maybe just go on talking without trying to present any particular stance on what happened between you.

 

[giraffecloud]

Maybe just go on talking without trying to present any particular stance on what happened between you.

That makes sense with the i ching answer. It's good to go forward but without judgement. Although I feel that the judgemental part would be my self-expression. I think I can continue without judgement. I feel that Blind Fox's interpretation is also to keep talking to him but I'm not sure if it means to carry on being friends or to continue the debate.

 

[Trojina]

I haven't said anything about not being judgmental, I don't know where you see that? Having your judgements, your ideas about politics is part of you, part of your self expression yes. I was saying you don't need to pretend to be anything other than who you are....along those lines.

 

[BlindedFox]

That makes sense with the i ching answer. It's good to go forward but without judgement. Although I feel that the judgemental part would be my self-expression. I think I can continue without judgement. I feel that Blind Fox's interpretation is also to keep talking to him but I'm not sure if it means to carry on being friends or to continue the debate

That makes sense with the i ching answer. It's good to go forward but without judgement. Although I feel that the judgemental part would be my self-expression. I think I can continue without judgement. I feel that Blind Fox's interpretation is also to keep talking to him but I'm not sure if it means to carry on being friends or to continue the debate.

He is line 3, you are line 6. Return to yourself, don´t feed the troll in him. (24)

 

[Trojina]

He's not a troll though is he? He is someone she knows. And why would he be line 3 and she be line 6?

In fact this interpretation puzzles me

Hex 22 is about the different stages when we are using masks, and what hides behind them, our essence. Line 3 is using sparringly its masks, diplomacy, and so. So line three doesn't want to use too much adournment (hiding) , while line six is thinking of stripping all adornment away and initiate a full frontal attack to convince the other, it wants to engage. It is a swaping of ideas that will allow to come back afterwards and fortifies once own beliefs with better arguments.

I see the masks but 22.6 is not 'full frontal attack'.

Also he's a friend who is being patronising in an argument, where do you get the idea this would be 'full frontal attack' from?

If you look at what the I Ching says for 22.6

'White beauty.
No mistake.'

 

[BlindedFox]

He's not a troll though is he? He is someone she knows. And why would he be line 3 and she be line 6?

In fact this interpretation puzzles me



I see the masks but 22.6 is not 'full frontal attack'.

Also he's a friend who is being patronising in an argument, where do you get the idea this would be 'full frontal attack' from?

If you look at what the I Ching says for 22.6

'White beauty.
No mistake.'

Love the sync. 22.6 masks off, isn't? Someone doesn't hide behind ornnaments anymore. Pure essence.

In regard to the statement "don´t feed the troll in him", he is not a troll, things are not black and white, everything is in motion and connected. Debate serves to define and enhance (grace) our positions (ornaments) and fortify our values (essence/root). If something becomes poison, it is no longer a debate, ornaments are not necessary anymore. It has reached the top of grace. Time to return. (24)

 

[Liselle]

Could you edit your own post? You said he deleted his to change its appearance, make it look like something it wasn't. When you asked how to deal with it, Yi answered interestingly with 22 which is about that very thing, appearances, and 22.3 which is about dipping a rock in water to make it look different. In a way 22.3 is an act of editing.

22.6 could be the overview or final outcome - if you edit your post to make it fit better with his edited one, the whole conversation will seem more "undyed" to other people. Your response won't stick out in ways you don't want it to.

Maybe that's too narrow an interpretation if what you really meant was what to do about him generally. Or maybe this is a first step - first fix Facebook so you don't look like the nutty one, then worry about the rest of it (maybe ask another question).

Or maybe Yi's saying this is really all you have to do. Maybe he'll settle down on his own and won't keep going after you.

 

[giraffecloud]

I see now that what you're saying is to be purely myself instead of hiding away, which is what I'm currently doing.

I was referring to the description of the Grace hexagram and I felt that by not bringing up the way he spoke to me would be like the description physically carrying on the conversation without judgement but not mentally.

 

[giraffecloud]

Liselle, you got it in one. I asked my husband how I respond to this guy and he said "just edit your posts to counter his edits" and I did do that. I think the question I should have been asking is if that's a person I want to be friends with.