how to get out of my rut 39.3 to 8

[openheartsf]

Sigh. I’ve been depressed lately. I will admit it is partly due to the seeming loss of my friendship with the man who I also developed a physical/emotional attachment to. But it’s more than that. It’s my life in general that feels a bit empty at the moment. Things do not seem to be clicking in to place in regards to most areas of my life. It all seems like an uphill struggle. And despite my efforts and doing the inner work, nothing seems to change.

I asked the yi “how can I get out of this rut?”
I received Hex 39 (obstruction) with moving line three changing to Hex 8
(union)
Coincidentally I received this same hex about a week ago when asking about my friend. The question I asked before was “will our friendship survive”

Is the fact that this is the same hex as before (when asking of friend) telling me the rut will improve when I let go of HIM?

From what I understand of line 39.3 it means not to pursue your interest at this time.

In my last attempt at reading this hex I wanted it to mean that if I stopped chasing after him (line 3) that this might lead to a union (hex 8). But, since things have not changed (and I’ve not been chasing) I’m feeling more skeptical about that interpretation.

Now I’m reading it as the fact that my expectation and hope of hex 8 is the obstruction (39) to my happiness.
But I dunno…seems we can glean whatever we want from the readings. Any encouraging words would be appreciated.

 

[zander]

... And despite my efforts and doing the inner work, nothing seems to change.

I asked the yi “how can I get out of this rut?”
I received Hex 39 (obstruction) with moving line three changing to Hex 8
(union)

I think with 39.3, you should continue to do the inner work that you were talking about, OpenHeartsf. Changed to Hex8, Holding Together--could refer back to you and how well you are meeting with your current situaton, or that with continual work, you WILL get out of your rut. I don't read 8 as a reunion with another, rather
more about gaining strength within.

 

[jeb]

Rut

Hi openheartsf

I was wondering if your depression may simply be that something is obviously wrong (obstacle) in your relationship, hence you asking if it will survive in the first instance?

As much as I do not believe in trying to interpret other people’s hexagrams maybe the 39 with a changing 3rd line you cast was just referring to this obstacle and your meeting with it? Maybe it refers to the problem being in “yourself” i.e. you pushing to hard and to continue in that vane would only make matters worse? Maybe there is call to consider your former path before this relationship i.e. your friends and interests and maybe you should consider concentrating more time in their development i.e. get out and have some fun and not being so dependent on this relationship? Maybe you should consider letting go of “yourself” in this respect, which may lead to you being helped by others, and who knows maybe even your friend may chip in?

Just some thoughts

Jack

 

[openheartsf]

Thank you Zander and Jeb for your insights. I do believe that the obstruction is just me being caught up in the attachment to the possibility of a romantic union. I got in to the pattern of thinking that without “him” I am somehow incomplete

39.3 says “Going leads to obstruction. Coming leads to the reverse”.

This is a confusing line to me!

Maybe it means that I should not put my energy in to this situation any longer. I have been trying to disconnect from these feelings, but it’s a slow journey. I have ceased any perceived “chasing” activity for months now. However my monkey mind cannot seem to let it go.

Also part of the problem is that we have a mutual hobby that brings us together at least once a week. I see him and it brings up a lot of emotions. I don’t want to quit my hobby because it is something that is so gratifying and gives meaning to my life. I enjoy the friendships I have made, but now there is an akwardness whenever I see him and it makes me sad that things between us have changed so.

Anyway, I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle and doing meditation and I will hopefully get this under control and get back in to enjoying myself again and not worrying about what happened between us in the past or for that matter worrying about what could be in the future!

 

[jeb]

hobby

Hi again.

I do know exactly what you're talking about with regard to meeting people when pursueing a hobby. You start a hobby or develop an existing one as part of a program of self discover or fulfillment, to fill that space one has when one is alone. You meet interesting people primarily because you have the same interest and you enjoy whatever it is. A closeness develops with someone in particular for whatever reason. In our mind the chances of finding someone to fill this space has seemed so remote but then to find someone who not only has the same interests but who actually seems to like you above all the others can be uplifting to say the least.The truth is this is likely to happen with anything you pursue and enjoy. And Yes it is difficult to keep going to your hobby when a developing relationship doesn't go to plan,but confronting your fears, by returning and joining with others is part of your answer, and from this I feel you will be supported. If you can discuss with this person that you just want to continue(i.e.returning to) with your hobby and friends with no ill feelings then all the better.

Good luck

 

[openheartsf]

Jeb, thanks I will try to go with the flow with this and find a way to balance my hobby with my personal relationships. In the beginning, when he was pursuing me I did not want to date him because of the fear of our friendship changing and the possible interference that would cause. Guess my fear manifested, didn't it?

I had a very intense dream last night and my friend was in it. I asked the Yi "what is the meaning of the dream?"

Guess what hex I got?

39.3 to 8.

Clearly there is a deep message here for me !

I found this quote here on the boards about 39.3

"A blocked stream moves energy and matter back upon itself, but it doesn't end there. It makes a new pathway or pathways around the obstruction."

I feel like the message is that there is an opportunity for me to rise above the "obstruction" .Find a new way of thinking around the issue.

Here is what Lise says' about line 3

"When your life does not feel good, then turn inward and examine your true feelings. Do you live what agrees with you? Do you have the feelings you want to have, find the meaning in life you seek? Be severe and discard everything you do not want, and go to everything you need."