How to interpret the meaning of Hexagram 20 - Overview

[ranfar]

I started a thread on this issue last December. http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=7131 and now I'm back with a similar dilemma. Last night at our end of year party as I walked past "S" he stepped in front of me and said, "Can we please be friends again?" We had not spoken to each other for the last few months unless I had to for appearance's sake. I had to go to his classroom to load something on his computer a few weeks ago and in front of the students I spoke graciously and cheerfully to him, but if we bump into each other when no one is around I always nod and make a quick escape. So, I said we'd have to talk about what happened before we could just "be friends" again, so we did. Unfortunately, this discussion took place under the effects of alcohol and I am very unclear about everything we discussed. I'm not even sure how the conversation ended and whether we resolved anything or not. I think we did and I think I agreed to try and be friendlier toward him at school. But what I do know is that I did not tell him the truth about how I feel. The truth is that I am a happily married woman with 2 kids and for some reason I can't fathom - I have developed an insane attraction to a kid 20 years younger than me. I don't want to be attracted to him and I certainly don't want to cheat on my husband or act on my feelings, but I have been trying for the last 6 months to convince myself that it is nothing, that I'm just being silly, and here I am obsessing about it all over again! I did an i-ching cast to this question, "Should I tell him the truth now or just keep ignoring him?" And the answer I got was Hexagram 20. So, what does that mean? Is there any point in telling him how I really feel, since I know these feelings are wrong and inappropriate. Won't that just put unnecessary pressure on the poor kid that he just doesn't need? But I realize now that I can't be friends with him again because I will blurt something out one of these days and I don't think that's a good idea. Is it possible for 2 people to be friends if one of them is attracted to the other one? Does anyone have any thoughts about what the message of Hexagram 20 would be in this situation?

 

[willowfox]

"Should I tell him the truth now or just keep ignoring him?" And the answer I got was Hexagram 20

You should continue to ignore him because you have to see this situation from a much larger perspective and how your involvement with him will affect quite a few people around you, your family for instance, so you have to set an example to others not to let your emotions control your actions regarding this guy. Involvement with this guy would lead to very big trouble.

 

[ranfar]

You're right, Willowfox.

Thanks for the "clarity", Willowfox. I think I knew subconsciously that leaving this situation alone was what I needed to do. Just reading your confirmation helped solidify my resolve. We only have a few more days of school and then I'm gone for 2 months, so it shouldn't be difficult to maintain my distance. It's gotten easier, too, with a better perspective now. I am able to accept that just because I had strong emotional feelings about him, doesn't mean that there was ever any reason to act on them. Moving far away from all of my close friends and family 9 months ago left me feeling adrift and unsettled. I think that is why I allowed the friendship to take on a greater significance than it should have. Now I realize it filled a necessary void, but since then I have managed to make new friends and settle into my job. Things are looking better and I am confident I will be able to move past this and put my thoughts and energy where they belong - on my husband and children.