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How to leave him? 43.1.5>32

misswasabi

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I've decided today to end up a distant relationship I've been having with someone for nearly a year.
I don't know how to do it; was thinking on writing an email and not blame him for anything, just state that things are not working because we are not compatible. I'm somehow scared of his reaction. I'm scared that he could make me feel really guilty for what I'm doing or acccuse me of having wasted his time... I don't know. I asked the iching how should I proceed to end up this relationship and got 43.1.5> 32
I get that 43 speaks of rupturing, take a strong decision and act subsequently. Line 1, on the other hand, talks about taking little steps and don't rush. Line five is about persevering. The thing is, I get I have to do it, but how? I don't see a way of doing it "step by step"? Any ideas? thanks so much in advance!
 
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mirian

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Hi madamemo,

I don't think that your reading is saying to do it "step by step". Quite differently, Hex 43 is telling you to act with resolution and determination. That means dropping straight away any fears about his reaction. With hexagram 43 there is no need for excessive or agressive attitude, but there is no place for blame game either.

Line 1 - make sure that you are prepared for the task in hand. Think this through and don't let yourself be caught off guard. Get your decision right and deliver.

Line 5 - don't leave loose ends. Once you tell this person that your decision has been made, make sure this is clear and final. No ifs, no buts.
 

misswasabi

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Wow, thanks for your reply, Miriam. I was confused by line 1; I read somewhere "The stage of the enterprise is too early and the preparation too small to make victory certain", and took it as if I had to no rush and somehow "prepare" the situation. But the way you explain it makes sense; I get it's all about being clear about it.
 
M

mirian

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Hi madamemo,

The warning about line 1 is to make sure that you are prepared, so you can cope with. As I said, get yourself ready.

Take care :bows:
 

kincadefoster

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I'm somehow scared of his reaction. I'm scared that he could make me feel really guilty for what I'm doing or acccuse me of having wasted his time...

The fact you are afraid of his reaction, ... what does this tell you about this relationship?
 

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